How not to take things out on the wrong person?

Question

I am having some stressful situations in my life right now. Though my husband is not causing them I am having a hard time not taking it out on him. I really acted like an *** this weekend, I think my husband is ready to divorce me over it. I told him that I was sorry and that my head is just messed up right now. He doesn't seem to understand. How can I deal with so much stress and not take it out on those around me? How can I let him know that I am truely sorry for the fit I through on him?

Answer 1

You just need to slow down, and think about your actions. From what you said, I get the impression that over reacting may be the cause of a lot of your stress, and of course, that would be one more thing to worry about.

So, before you do or say anything, just ask yourself ...

1) What will venting on this person do for me? (Can they help the situation, or are they helpless bystanders?)

2) What makes me think that venting will inspire this person to help if they can? (Sometimes, just calmly asking for help works a lot better than a hysterical rant.)

3) You have to ask yourself if it really matters...(are you REALLY ready to fight to the death over a pair of socks?)

4) You also have to identify what is causing the stress, and eliminate it...or at least make the conversation about the actual problem, rather than about the stress itself. This last one is hard to do.

This may seem like an impossible list, but my girlfriend has managed to put this into practice in her life, and it has made living with her an absolute pleasure. I find that this works for me as well, and has really helped with communication.

The key to letting your husband know that you are sorry, is to not let it happen again, otherwise, all the apologies in the world mean nothing.

Answer 2

What you need to do is make him a dinner, and a candle light dinner or something romantic. Show him how much you really care, apperciate, and how sorry you are by your actions. Our Actions is what shows who we really are!
Your stressed, but instead of taking it out on your man, why dont you talk to him about your stress? He may be able to help, or just listen.
But he probably feels hurt right now, and in order to save your marriage, you need to do something to show him how much you really are sorry and care!
:)