I Need Some Serious Advice, Please No Jokes?

Question

I have just found out that I'm pregnant & I am in massive shock as I have the implant.

I already have a son who is 2 and I'm in University studying Law. I am no longer with my son's father but I am with a new partner.

Untill today I have never believed in abortion but now I am reconsidering. I want to finish University.

Also I can't see myself being with my current partner for the rest of my life & I don't want to be 20 years old with 2 children by 2 different fathers.

I had already decided when I decide to have more children I will settle down & marry with someone I can be with for the rest of my life.

What I'm guessing also about the bad thing is that my partner is begging me to keep the baby! I have explained to him how I feel but I feel as though his head is in the clouds as he keeps saying we will be together forever & he will always love me.

I really don't want this baby & I think I may be being selfish. Some1 please give me the best advice they could!

I am on contraceptives & I am not having sex with some1 I don't like!!

I do care about my current partner quite a lot!

All I was trying to say was that it is very unlikely for some1 who is young to stay with their partner for a lifetime as we change over time.

I am aware that some people do stay with their partner for a lifetime, I just don't feel like I will. Doesn't mean that I don't like or care for him!

Answer 1

It's your choice, and your reasoning is sound.

Go visit your university health center immediately and make arrangements to have an abortion. A non-invasive (RU 486) procedure should be possible. Don't worry about what anyone else says - it's your body and your future.

Answer 2

Mixed rac, Wow. When I was in college I found myself pregnant. I left college and put the child up for adoption. He was adopted by an attorney & his wife in new orleans. I hope he has had a great life. Years later I became pregnant and could not bear to go through birth & adoption again so I had an abortion. Several years later I married and had a beautiful daughter who is now in her twenties. My point being with the exception of your children, nothing else is permanent. If you can't stay in school and put this child up for adoption, if you can't see yourself raising this child ............ I remember holding the little boy in the hospital and realizing that he needed the best in the world and that I was not in a position to even be able to put a roof over his head. Two adoptive parents for me beat the heck out of the alternative. My point being YOU have to decide what is right for you. Pressure from any outside source won't pay your bills and won't make you a good mom. Are you being selfish? maybe but this is the time to really know yourself and to do what you can live with, what you need and what you feel is right. Anything else isn't fair to you. One other thing, if you do abort this baby I would be willing to bet that your partner will be down the road. You have to decide. Not us. But under current USA law you have the right to decide. I am glad you still do. Good luck -k-

Answer 3

Sweetie, you are pregnant. I know how I felt when I was pregnant when I just didn't feel ready. I know that it is a difficult situation. However, abortion is not the answer!! If that is what you are thinking. I had an abortion. I cannot take it back, no matter what I do!! And it took me YEARS to finally be able to come to a place of peace!!!! I would not want any young lady to go through what I have been through.

There are other options. Think about possibly allowing a couple who cannot have children of their own adopting your child. Also, going to a crisis pregnancy center can help you decide what is the best decision for YOU and YOUR BABY!! As they do offer counseling & information free of charge.

Answer 4

I'm sorry but you already know what you need to do. Like you said, your partners head is in the clouds just now, what happens when he realises it's a lot harder than he thought and leaves? You'll be the one left with the baby!! Don't keep a baby you dont want because he is begging you to. That's not fair to you or the baby. You know already how hard it is with one, if you have another you will probably need to give up Uni. You used contraceptive so you have nothing to feel guilty or selfish about. My heart goes out to you on this one but think about the great life you can offer the child you have now once you finish studying and get a good job!! xx

Answer 5

I'm sorry that you are in this position, I know how hard it it is. A few years ago I found myself in a similar situation, I was married to an abusive addict who I already had 1 child with. I was on birth control and found myself pregnant, I considered all my options but having another child with this man would be to hard, as I wouldn't be able to protect myself and 2 children from him. So, I had an abortion. We live and learn and I now have Soul custody of my child and am re-married to the greatest man. The decision that I made often weighs heavy on me, but at the time I didn't have any other options. I too, was against abortion until I found myself in the predicament. I wish you the best of luck, it is the hardest choice you'll ever make. Only you know what you can and cannot live with.

Answer 6

If you never believed in abortion before then this should not change your mind. I was in your situation almost exactly, except the father wanted nothing to do with the baby.

After allot of soul searching - I just knew having had my son I couldn't have an abortion - I couldn't possibly raise 2 kids on my own and I was 24 with a decent job - so I chose private adoption.

A friend I worked with knew a couple through her sister that were trying to adopt. They had 3 unsuccessful attempts and were very afraid to try again, but I convinced them I had no other options and would not change my mind.

I gave birth to a healthy 9lb. 10oz baby boy who as a matter of fact turned 20 today.

Now my son who is 23 is in the same predicament and wanted to keep and raise the babies (she's aving twins) himself, until the reality of it all set in. He is in the service and currently overseas - the babies are due 4 mos before he comes back - it would never have worked. So I suggest you speak with both your parents and let them help you through this situation and hopefully they will give him a reality check.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I went through the same exact thing. Actually it was just a few months ago. I am now almost 38 weeks with my baby boy. I understand how you feel, and I too considered abortion because I was in college, but I kept the baby and now I am satisfied with my decision. I am not with the baby's father either and not worried about it. I would put your studies on hold for a while... you have the rest of your life to go to school. Who knows, you may not get pregnant again and how would you feel after knowing that you never gave your baby a chance at life. Regardless whether you will be with this man for the rest of your life, your child is always there and will love you unconditionally. I want you to read this and understand how your baby feels...

Mommy
I am only 4 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

This makes me cry every time I read it. Please have faith and understand that you got pregnant for a reason. It will all work out in the end.

Answer 8

There are so many woman out there in this world that cant have children .If you feel that your not ready for another baby,please consider the woman out there in this world that would love to be a mother. I personally am against abortions, so please make the right choice.Remember this is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life.Could you have giving your son up for adoption or aborted him.I am a mom of one and i never wanted children,but now that I have my little guy I don't know what I would do without him.I wish you the best of luck in your decision,but make sure that your doing the right thing.

Answer 9

Well, I consider myself pro-choice so I really think that you will ultimately need to do what works best for you and your family. But in this case I think you also really need to consider the needs of your partner, especially since he is someone you have more than a casual relationship with- your decision about this baby will most likely determine the outcome of that relationship as well (though this should not be the basis for your decision). It sounds like your boyfriend is interested in keeping the child- perhaps he would want to be the custodial parent (not sure if you two live together...). Something to think about... Also, have you considered adoption? As far as school is concerned, many women have started/completed their educations and careers while in a similar predicaments, so it can be done if you choose to keep this child.
This is a difficult decision- best wishes to you!

Answer 10

If you don't see yourself staying with this man for a life time, then you must not love him. I would NOT get an abortion, that is just wrong, it's murder. Give the baby up for adoption if you don't want it. So many people out there are waiting for a baby that can't have them. Don't let this man you are with convince you of anything that is not in your heart since it sounds like he won't be in the picture anyways. You need to be honest with him, tell him how you feel. You are the mother and the one who will have to deal with the decision for the rest of your life. Really think about it, but please do not get an abortion.

Answer 11

I am a single parent of two children. When I got pregnant with my son(he is now 2), I thought about abortion. I don't believe in abortion, but me and his father wasn't getting along to well then and I knew he wouldn't be very supportive of me financially or emotionally. I was having a hard time financially and I was wanting to go back to school. I just didn't know what to do. I prayed and prayed and then one day God answered my prayer and said everything would be ok and he was with me. I am glad I listened to God and kept my son. He is now 2 and the joy of my life. Things are better for me now than they were before. I stated going back to school this year to get a nursing degree. Its not as bad as it seems. Things will work out for the best they always do. Just be patient know that this will pass. We all have hard times but they don't last for long. Please keep your baby and love it and then you can go back to school after it is born. I am sure you will be glad you done that in a couple of years. If you abort it you will always wonder what your child would be like. You may not have another chance to have a child.