my soon to be wife likes to bug me A LOT. its like i can never have any alone time ever. i work from home and i cant concentrate on my work cause shes always looking over my shoulder at what im doing and being real nosey and distracting me and wanting to go out and do things when i need to work. she doesnt work cause for some reason she got an idea from her family that she doesnt need to if shes in a relationship with a man thats well off financially. i told her she needs to get a job cause im not going to support her but i will help educate her in whatever it is she wants to be doing. but she doesnt take advantage of that. so recently ive just wanted her to shut up and leave me alone cause shes driving me crazy its like she wants to be glued to me i love her and everything but its gotten to a point its ridiculous i have dozens of things i want to accomplish in my life and i dont know how im going to do all these things if im with her and she wants to bug me constantly im depressed now
2007-03-11 23:15:22 · 9 answers · asked by v.e.n.d.e.t.t.a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she wont even let me goto the store by myself without her complaining a lot so ive had to make up "business meetings" just to get out by myself and have some alone time
2007-03-11 23:20:04 · update #1
its not even just when im working its like all the time i enjoy being alone thats when i get time to think about things and just relax i dont like to be bothered constantly i like my own personal space and she cant get this thru her head is it wrong to want alone time to yourself
2007-03-11 23:25:40 · update #2
since when is it the mans responsibility to support his wife financially. its 2007 those days are over. women should be working too. ive tried telling her i need my space sometimes but she doesnt like to listen she drinks too much and i think it affects her memory or she just doesnt want to listen.
2007-03-11 23:29:40 · update #3
ive tried telling her to get a hobby in hopes she might put that hobby to use in some form of job but whatever hobbies she does enjoy she gets bored of after an hour or two and then its back to bugging me drinking seems to be the only "hobby" she can stick to doing for long periods of time one more thing when i do tell her i need my space she does nothing about it but tells her family and they look at me like im bad for wanting that they pretty much do nothing too just like her ive never been so frustrated in my life
2007-03-12 00:03:22 · update #4
My advice: Dont marry her. I just dont think you will get along and I base that only on the information you provided.
First, she is not working and that is a problem for you. I am a stay at home mom, but my husband is 100% behind that. If I wanted to work, he would support that as well. But because you think she should work, she either needs to find a job or realize that this relationship wont work and she needs to find someone who supports her desire to stay home.
Second, she has no respect for the work that you do. If her idea is that she can stay home because you can afford it financially, then why the HECK is she interferring with your work? Do you want to marry someone who doesnt respect you and your boundaries. It isnt just about her disrupting your work, but you desire peace and quiet. That isnt a knock to her in any way, you just need to recharge your batteries with quiet time. (I am an introvert and I am the EXACT SAME WAY. When I need quiet time, I go to my room and husband takes over for a little while).
I think you will find if you separate from her for a little while, you will feel sooooo free. The weight will be lifted. And during that time, help her to understand your needs, both for work, and emotionally. And she can use that time to find a job!
I wish you the best of luck because I truly understand where you are coming from!
2007-03-12 02:57:12 · answer #1 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a life of her own? An adult life? Like interests or involvement in something other than shopping and friends?
You can usually tell what kind of person someone will turn out to be. If she has no real interests or passions other than you, well that's pretty shallow, but if that is the case, you should tell her, be willing to say it the nicest possible the sweetest most loving-est way you can possibly imagine...to stay outta your face,, ahem...xcuse me.
2007-03-11 23:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by motogirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need advice on this? really?
better go talk to mom ..or dad..or someone in your family and listen to every word they say.
actually you may know the answer already and that is if you marry some one like this, you are gonna be in a world of hurt..BIG TIME
the rest may sound a little harsh, but you asked...
talk about insecurity and immaturity in an individual..GEESH!
you're asking the world what you should do and thats not a good sign, except to RUN ... RUN FAST and let her grow up first ...
most of all...
DO NOT MARRY THIS GIRL (notice i didn't write woman)for at least a few years..seriously
now get a spine and tell her to leave you alone and grow up, or leave... period... or you will...that may just wake her up a little..study her history and family backround situation and that may tell you most of what you need to know about this one...
good luck
2007-03-11 23:28:10 · answer #3 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all if you marry her it's your duty to support her. If she's bothering you and she really loves you then you can just tell her. Once you start having kids a lot of her attention will be on them, not you. But if she's really driving you crazy I would resolve this problem before you marry, so it won't end in divorce. Have patience; we all have our faults. You probably have habits that bug her, just ask her and maybe you can arrange a compromise.
2007-03-11 23:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by Ory O Oreo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her your goals. Explain that in order to accomplish them, she will need to be more independent. Encourage her to go to lunch, shopping, etc. with her friends. A hobby would be a good idea also, if she does not want to work.
Are you sure that you can accept her not working? Think about that before you make that commitment.
2007-03-11 23:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely need to get a small office somewhere. You have to leave for a period of time a day and go to the "office". You can even work at the library, but you will get no peace until you have quality time with your girl.
2007-03-11 23:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you say,"i told her she needs to get a job cause im not going to support her "
then you say,"i love her "
you lie,
if you love her, then you will support her, and celibrate her, not get annoyed at her presence.
you should re-evaluate what you think love is, and rethink marrage if this is how it is.
2007-03-11 23:24:51 · answer #7 · answered by shamus_jack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I see, you want to marry your jailer. ARE YOU NUTS????
2007-03-12 00:30:57 · answer #8 · answered by jacquie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmm . . . why are you with her again?
2007-03-11 23:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋