What should i do????

Question

ok its like this.... i have been married for 6 years.
Damn happy with marriage...but obviously we too have our ups and downs. He is like the sweetest guy.... sincere to the core.
But i had a damaging childhood. Had a lot of unhappy moments and we were always on the move. But after i met him, there's been so much happiness.

After many years i feel its affecting me now..... i feel like running away .... coz i cannt live in one place forever. Above all i hate where iam living now.....i hate the culture, people, life style... everything.

I feel like running away from my husband as well. But this mood gets worser with PMS. I dont want to hurt him... but i feel so incomplete in life if i dont do what i want. Also i know how dangerous it out there in the world to venture alone.

But if one day i want to come back... he says he will always be waiting for me with his arms wide open.

The question is.... Should I go where i want to go or should i stay back for him?

Note: We both dont want to have a kid, since we feels there more to life right now than having a kid.

So its only about my husband iam worried.

I live in China currently...... i dont mean to be offensive.... But i hate it and i still have to live here coz we work here. I dont want to live in a place where iam not happy. But i have to.... for him. And its not abt a week. This thing has taken a while to set in me.

Answer 1

First thing to do is, count on your blessings!

No human on this earth gets complete world, yet there are many ways to live a contended life. Choose this very moment to start. Past (your damaging childhood) has gone beyond anyone's reach, it won't listen to you now - so why do bother / care about it. Yet learn and practice from this experience so that whatever damaging has happened to you, you don't become instrumental to repeat it for others.

Getting a soulmate - companion - life time partner is a dream for millions, so don't loose him. If he is so loving, understanding and co-operative, tune your path to compliment each other - I am sure he will extend to you his best co-operation. But do remember and give due allowance to him - as he is also a human being and have feelings, gets hurt, becomes happy to see you happy! Care for him too without becoming over-concerned.

There is always solutions to almost all of our (human) problems / difficulties, only thing is try maintaining our cool and ponder sincerely for effective solutions.

List down your immediate likes and dis-likes. Think of ways to substitute/mend your dislikes in a gradual way and simultaneously find ways to enhance those aspects which bring you happiness. Remember, in this materialistic world, don't give much importance to those things which make us slave of them.

(Try) not expecting too much from anything - any relation, yet keep putting in best of your efforts at any given point of time. Your all time creative and constructive approach / inputs would give you joy, contentment and solace, irrespective of the outcomes.

Living real simple life, irrespective of even amassed wealth by someone, is not possible for each such person. Make a soothing blend of your likes and the culture, people, lifestyles around you. You can do it.

Whether you believe it or not, just as a medicine or tonic even for a normal life, start doing yoga - or something like that. This would help you eliminating your negative waves. Additionally, if time and finances permit you, make a planned visit to India in a good local weather for many reasons - to your good. If need be, do consult a mature professional about your condition for some feasible helping tips.

Life is beautiful, cherish it. I am sure very soon you will be a lively lady and an invaluable asset to your family and friends.

Answer 2

These feelings will not change even if you were to leave. They are psychological and are coming from some unhappiness from within. Take it from my experience. I joined the Army thinking that if I was to go someplace else away from the problems I had with the people and the culture that surrounded me, then I would be happier. The problems followed me. You have to find some way to become happy with the things that you already have. Happiness stems from not getting what you want, but from wanting what you have. Changing the people, especially your loving husband, will not change the way that you feel. Find something that you love to do and start from there, whether it's yoga, reading, going out and hanging with the girls or going to a local coffee house and talking to random people. Trust me it will help.

Also, if your feelings of wanting to get away from the area persist, try taking a vacation every so often to some remote location that you've never been to before.

Then if things get really bad, take it from a couple of people in the Beer, Wine and Spirits section. You could be worse off. Best of luck to you and your husband.

Answer 3

He sounds really accepting, I think you should try it out. There's no point in living your life if you're not happy with it. I'm probably going to have the same problem when I get older because I move all the time, and hate staying in one place for too long. He sounds like a really sweet guy though, there's got to be some way you can manuvour around this. Maybe you guys could travel the world, if you haven't been out of the country it's really cool, every country has something different and neat to offer.
Or just move to a different neighborhood. I really hope it works out for you :] Good luck.

Answer 4

Best advice I can give you is too speak to a mental health professional. You obviously had a rough childhood and have been repressing those feelings and thoughts for a long time. There is only so long that you can hold something in before it explodes - and it sounds like this is your time.

Further, if your husband is willing to wait for you, he is probably willing to go with you wherever you want to go. This is certainly not a time in your life where you need to be wandering around alone.

Perhaps you and your husband could go to some sort of family counseling together. You both will need to be healed from this situation and if you get healed together, you will probably be better together in the future.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find what you are looking for in life!

Answer 5

consider the weekend getaways- WITH the hubby. Travelzoo.com has some great last minute specials & there is allways camping on the freebie side. State parks are great & super cheap & pretty safe. Then there is always the medication ...... dang I could have written this. I go off for a weekkend now & then with the CERT group & play war games or something like that. We were part of the medical team for the L.A. Marathon. Where are you living that you are so much better that they are?? are you sure that you hate it or do you just hate yourself this week???

Answer 6

dont make any rash decisions quite yet. if u dont like where u live then move, both u and ur husband. sounds like u both have an awesome relationship and esp now with what u r experiencing, u need support, u need him around. obviously u r not happy for whatever reason, and that is smth u have to deal with. u have to figure out y u not happy. possibly might need to see a psychologist. if possible move and go with ur husband. dont walk out on a rlsph that could be great. good luck

Answer 7

Best advise with my experience you need to see a counsellor but before that you prepare your self for it. One thing you have to accept you cannot change your past but you can change you future and u can enjoy your present so look at your life this way. Another important thing is that running away won't solve any of your problem so better accept it and try to make it best of it. You are lucky in matter that you have a good partner so give him a stable relationship as he also need your support as much you do so don't be self centric.

Answer 8

You may choose to go where you want to go. But be cautioned than when you are ready to return to him arms, his arms may not be ready or opened for you. Men will always be men. Try to do things you enjoy where you are. Learn the culture and understand the people. See is there any thing that you can contribute so that you'll leave a legacy behind should you leave.

Answer 9

Look up in the sky !
Start counting the stars !
You can !
If it is night !
Do the things, the right time !
Go at night and stay back at day !

Answer 10

your problem is inside of you, see a mental health specialist and also a doctor to get treatment for pms. your poor husband deserves more .