Is my daughter being unreasonable?

Question

My daughter is in the seventh grade at a grade 6-8 school. She has been thinking this through for a while since fifth grade and hasn't changed her mind and it's starting to worry me. Since grade 5, she has wanted to study journalism. I told her she needn't go to college. Me, her father, and her sister are all doing well, and none of us went to college. She still persisted, and has been looking into it behind my back, when I questioned her about it, she simply replied she was curious. She went on to ask about her college fund, which i truthfully told her that she would not have, because college was just a waste of money. She shook her head and agreed. But now, I have seen her looking on college websites, and have seen files calculating how much money she could make to save up for it. She has also been plotting with her older sister, and they opened up a bank account so they could make her a college fund. Why is she being so unreasonable?

But the thing is my older daughter is helping her out! And when I confronted her about it, she just said that she was helping her little sister get the chance that she herself wasnt able to get... which i dont get at all for i completely supported my eldest with her career choice which DIDNT involve college.

Even if a college was a good choice, wouldn't 12 be a little young? I mean she won't be 13 until July.

Answer 1

First off i do not consider her wanting to go to college UNREASONABLE, However what i do find UNREASONABLE IS YOU DISCOURAGING HER FOR WANTING TO BETTER HERSELF AND MANIPULATING THAT SISTER WHO IS TRYING TO HELP HER AND THAT APPARENTLY ALREADY RESENTS YOU FOR NOT BEING ALLOWED TO BECOME SOMETHING BETTER. Man what a piece of work you must be to tell your kids that school is a waste of money,why not let your kids be all they can be and be proud of them for doing it? Most parents call it love and support!!! not dictating and ruination. By the way Heather sumed it up in 3 words for you read them and learn from them if you can seeing how school is a waste of money you might need some advice on what that means!!!

Answer 2

Unreasonable? I don't get it. Did I miss something? You DON'T want your daughter to get an education if she wants it? There are scholarships and grants that do NOT need to be paid back that she could get if it's only the money you're worried about. If she is this driven to do it I see no earthly reason to try and stop her particularly if she knows you won't be providing the money. I think it shows great passion and if she wants to be a journalist these are terrific traits that will help her be great at her job in the future. Millions of people have wonderful lives without a college degree but why try to crush her dream? Who knows what she'll be thinking about it by the time she graduates high school. Being against her could turn you into the enemy in her eyes. If you're more supportive of her efforts you have years left to talk with her about it and find out more about why she's so focused on this particular career. Just give her a little "Atta girl" and she'll love you forever whatever she chooses to do in the end.

Answer 3

OK. first of all I'm a college student. I love it and I'm grateful to God i have had this great opportunity. You are unreasonable for not letting your daughter discover her potential and follow her dreams and pursue her goals in life. College will teach her how to be independent and open-minded and learn about different cultures and diversities. It will make her more confident and open a door for her to meet new people and make new friends who could last for a long time.

Is it unreasonable to be ambitious? To pursue goals and ambitions? If her desire is college then she should go for it and you as a parent should support her 100%. let her make her own choices and decisions when it comes to her future. don't be the one to ruin it for her or be responsible for her possible future unhappiness or regret.

You are being a selfish mother. And no, paying money for education and awareness and knowledge is not a waste. It is people like you who keep the society backwards.

Answer 4

you are being totally mean to her. You feel thretended plain and simple. You didnt go to college...if she goes to college you feel that she may make you look stupid. You are a little right though..SOME jobs dont require a college education..she can always work at a fast food place. But if she has a plan set out and knows what she wants to be and knows she WILL need college then why bother her? They started the bank up because its plain to see that your very own children cant depend on their parents for support. All the parents I know get pissed when their kids are not looking into further education. You are lazy and you just dont want to pay for it. I cant wait to see your child succeed. She is going to write a book about her crappy parents that refused to help her and its going to be a best seller. When she gets older she is going to hate you for your none support....pray that she will alow you to see the grandchildren in the future..I would cut off all contact from you once she moves out of the house

Answer 5

the college did no longer giver her a computing device, era. there is no longer sufficient investment everywhere the place a intense college can provide a pupil a computing device to maintain. As for the money difficulty, a pawn broking service in no way will pay the fee (somewhat they pay properly under the fee) of something, in the event that they did, they had have no company. Pawn brokers cater to desperate human beings or people who desire despite they might get for an merchandise they do no longer desire anymore. additionally, laptops have not averaged at 3000 greenbacks in years, yet specific, they're nevertheless properly worth extra beneficial than 2 hundred. further~ just to best yet another poster, they might legally withhold her degree till the soundness is paid in complete to the college. All different districts and universities do an identical while the two kit/books are nevertheless remarkable or money is owed. additionally, if she will college next fall, the college can withhold her very final transcripts from the college. you will possibly be able to desire to make an apology on your daughter. the college's coverage on that's no longer any distinctive than any others.

Answer 6

What a tight *** you are being, does that money mean that much to you that you can't help your child start a college fund.

Geezus man, I've been helping kids that weren't even mine save for college since i was in my twenties i'm retired military. Although i still work.
You need to wake up and smell the roses, cause without a college education in the future your daughter is going to have one very difficult time supporting herself without a college degree. Don't let her be left behind and be subserviant to people that have the college degree's. She's a very motivated young lady don't kill her motivation and if you are such a tight *** tell me where i can contribute $10 a month to her college fund.

Answer 7

YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE!!!!!!!! College is not a waste of time or money and if she does go to college she will be making twice if not more than what you are making now. You are being very selfish and obviously do not care for her future. Any proud parent would help her and support her. You should be ashamed as a parent to restrict her from college. If the case is that you don't have the money you can always get finacial aid and there are always scholarships. YOU SHOULD SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER.

Answer 8

You can't be serious! Just because you feel that college isn't necessary does not make it so. Your daughter wants more out of life than you did and this is her way of getting that. Education should be encouraged and what you are doing is just downright shameful. Almost every parent want their children to go to college and make something of themselves. Granted you can still be successful not having attended college but it is still your daughter's right to seek higher education. You stated that you are doing well but you would still deny your daughter money for college. That, in my opinion is wrong. Even if you don't want to help her financially, you should still support her as a mother ( I'm assuming you are her mother). She is not the one being unreasonable. In this case, you are the one being unreasonable.

Answer 9

You should ask yourself that same question: "why am I being so unreasonable?" You should let her live the life she wants to. Everyone should have a chance to learn from their own mistakes.If you think going to college is a waste of time and$$$$$$$ let her be the one that realizes that! She has the same rights as many children her age, to think positive things about their future. This is probably the only thing she has in mind she wants to do when she grows up, so don't be the one to mess up her dreams!! Be a little more considerate and take her dreams in consideration.

Answer 10

Are you kidding with this question? Why would you possibly consider your daughter's desire to go to college unreasonable behavior? Glad to hear the rest of you are doing well; I'm sure you are self educated and successful in what you do, but your daughter wishes to pursue a career in a highly competitive field. Encourage her to study hard, work to save, and apply for every scholarship available. Please let her know you've had a change of heart and encourage her to follow her dream, whatever it takes. Give her gifts of cash on occasion, and tell her to consider it an investment in her future.She may change her mind about her life's work; she's only in seventh grade, as you mentioned, but whatever she chooses, whether it's writing, becoming a fireman, or joining the circus, encourage her dreams. She is your lovely daughter to love and instruct as you see fit, but she is also her own person, and what was good enough for you may not suit her. It's all good and not a problem, just a difference of opinion, not a problem at all.

Answer 11

please do not take this with any disrespect, am going to be as honest as i possibly can with you. there is nothing wrong with not going to college. some peolpe want that education and some are just not made for it. for u to tell ur daughter that college is a waste is absolutely wrong. and cuz u didnt go and her other siblings did not go, doesnt mean she cant go. as a parent all u are responsible for is to make sure that ur children reach their potential and u gotta support them esp when it sounds like u have a bright girl who knows what she wants since she's been in the 5th grade. u have to support her dream and encourage her. pls, pls and pls encourage her. support her. she has gone as far as to start saving? this should tell you how important this is to her. besides she might even change her mind. u have got to encourage her to do well in school now, so she can apply for scholarships. i thank God for the parents that i was given, they were very supportive of me and my dreams. i am thirty and i became a doctor at the age of 24. the sky is the limit. so to answer ur question, i absolutely do not think that ur daughter is unreasonable.