ok so i have been with this guy for alittle over a month, i am pretty sure is in love with me, he has stated a few times that he is refraining from saying the "L" word because he doesn't want to scare me away. ok so i don't love him as a matter of fact i knda feel nothing when i am with him, no tingle no lightning bolt no nothing, he's a great guy but i am pretty sure he's not the right guy for me. he already stated that he is going to try to change me so that i am not so weird, i am a weird perverted girl i like to do weird stuff i like to be spontanius sometimes but he's like the opposite, my sis's man siad he acts like he was locked away in a box for years becuase he just doesn't know alot of stuff about stuff, he's like this big computer geek math guy i dunno i just don't feel like we click and i just don't know how to tell him especially sinse we have had sex already, he's kinda not good at that either or kissing i dunno what to do :( please help
2007-03-11 19:11:51 · 16 answers · asked by Sweet Tartt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you are not in love with him, and dont see yourself being in love with him.. its only been a month and there arent fireworks or tingling or whatever... break up NOW! Dont bother, youre wasting your time, AND his! You are doing both of you a favor to break up.
Ask yourself when you are dating someone... "Could I see myself spending the rest of my life with this person?" If the answer is no, dont date them. After all the purpose of dating is to find a permanent partner to share your life with. Could you break up with him and live your life without him just fine? Then move on.
2007-03-11 19:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please be honest and just tell him of your feelings. Do not lead him on and then let him down. You wouldn't like that to be done to you; do you?
If I understand well; he is good in other things other than sex in the city. LOL
No-one should try to change someone else dear heart. That has been tried and done by hundreds if not thousands of people and it never works! And besides; what's your sister's man has to do with this ? It is your own business and privacy should not be discussed with others, unless it is someone qualified in helping people solve relationship problems.
You are aware of your stuff! LOL I don't think you like yourself very much when you say you are a weird perverted girl. At least you are honest that way. This is not a judgement. Only giving you my honest thoughts on your request for help.
Good luck in finding the person who will make you happy and also be able to make him happy. Happiness is not a one way street in a relationship.
2007-03-12 02:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys may not be able to handle rejection very well, so you better let him down easy. Better to hurt him now than be miserable for the rest of your life by making a huge mistake in staying with him. Tell him in a friendly way, that you don't want to see him anymore, and that you want to move on with your life to meet someone who's more compatible with you. It's gonna hurt him, but better him than you. If this guy is intent on changing the way you are, then he is definitely not right for you.
No one should try to change someone unless that person wants to change. To do so against someone's will, to force someone to change his/her life to fit that of the mate, is outright wrong. Individuality is what makes a person unique and sometimes beautiful, to someone who can relate to such "uniqueness". And for someone who appreciates that uniqueness... that person is a keeper for life!
If you truly don't have feelings for this guy, don't let anything hold you back. Listen to your heart, your 'gut' instincts, be strong and just tell him. And if he gets physical about your intentions... just bop him on the head and call 911.
2007-03-12 02:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by midnyt12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just not in to you.
Only those who can't say the L word (for whatever the excuse) will never mean it.
Don't change for him. Stay who you are, there's nothing wrong with you. We're all strange in our own ways.
You know he's not right for you, be confident in your decision, and take courage and tell him your honest feelings: You don't have feelings for him, and you don't see a future together. Just because you've had sex doesn't mean you have to stay with him. Don't be afraid.
2007-03-12 02:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by mel152 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's okay to not love a boyfriend of only a month, but he seems to be loving you. So if you want to see how it goes, then hang out, but it sounds like he is freaking you out so tell him you like him but want to slow down. If that makes him mad then dump him. It's just a boyfriend, not a husband. You are allowed to play the field, just don't lead him on.
I would like to add though that sometimes these emotionally available guys are great to be with, so don't judge him so harshly because he's acting to lovey dovey.
Oh, and your sis's man sounds like a meathead.
2007-03-12 02:17:16 · answer #5 · answered by GranolaGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him and tell him you don't think you and him are right for each other...You can leave out the part about him not being too good at sex, leave the guy with some self respect for himself...Good luck..
2007-03-12 02:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by halfpint22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like fun:), but he sounds pretty lame. after a couple months "love" isn't a good thing to be thinking about. if you don't have feelings, cut him loose and find a guy that you can just have fun with, one that doesn't fall in love quickly(unfortunately guys like me are rare, as most guys fall in love by the 5th date), and just tell him that you don't have the same feelings.
2007-03-12 02:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by Pyromaniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break it up with him now don't drag your feet cause you will only hurt him more if you don't do something soon be honest with him tell him its over and don't go back to him. Tell him not to come see you any more either.
2007-03-12 02:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by dianemelloniemarlenejerryginder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you sound like quite a classy girl. Banging a guy that you don't even really like. Your parents must be so very proud of you.
2007-03-12 02:29:36 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The basic way to do this is to compromise. That's really the best I can think of... let alone the best way to not hurt someone's feelings.
2007-03-12 02:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by ShadowX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋