how does one cope with the loss of a faimly member???

Question

my mother died at 5:45 pm on saturday after a long battle with copd (illness) and i'm so colose to her as i am her youngest son my older brother and i held hands with her in her moments but what i want to know is how do you deal with this kind sorow

Answer 1

People cope with sorrow in all kind of different ways. None are right or wrong. Grief usually follows a pattern of stages, with acceptance being the final stage. The loss of someone close to you is always hard to deal with. It can help greatly to have other close family and friends to talk with and spend time with. Your loved one will always be in your heart and you will find you cherish your memories of them forever. Allow yourself to have your emotions. Cry when you want to and need to. Bottling up emotions can make you feel worse. I am very sorry for the loss of your Mom and am sending you a hug.

Answer 2

No easy answer but people who come through the loss just say that they had to cope. Some people don't cope and their grief can become pathological. This means that they never get through the grieving. This is not the norm and those who suffer this should seek expert counselling. Others cope by talking to friends, remembering and person who has died in different ways. I know of one person who coped when his wife died by taking on a project and working hard to forget. What ever works for you is the right way but when you are going through the pain it can be hard to think things will ever be the same, and, as some have said, it wont be. The gap will be there but it will be manageable. Sadly death is part of life

Answer 3

I think it works like a lot of things that overwhelm people. The ONLY people who really understand what you're going through are people who are experiencing the same thing.

Therefore, the best way to get help in your case is to check and see if there are any "death and grieving" support groups in your area. Typically these groups are sponsored by hospitals as part of their "community wellness program", or some such similar things.

Why not give the local hospitals a call and ask them if they have any death and grieving support groups? Even if they don't have them, they can probably refer you to someplace that does.

Trust me, this works. Even if the group has strangers in it, you all will have something very fundamental in common. In situations like that you tend to make friends immediately and trust them. They support you and you feel better by supporting some of them.

I have a lot of experience with these sorts of groups and this kind of psychology. Although I see plenty of death and grieving support groups around here, I myself attend "Dual Diagnosis" groups - these are groups for people with a combination of substance abuse and mental health issues.

These types of meetings, regardless of their focus, ALL WORK THE SAME WAY.

They work because the other people in the meetings are the ONLY ONES who know what we're going through. Even the shrinks and therapists don't get it unless they too have suffered the same thing.

The fellowship you will find in a death and grieving group will help. I know this; trust me!

Big Al Mintaka

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear about your loss.

I do not think anyone truly does get over the loss. As time goes by, the memories come a little easier.
For me pesonally, this is where I finally learn the meaning of life. A meaning filled with love, hope, understanding and knowledge to pass on to my children. This loss gave purpose.

Answer 5

I have no idea, I just lost my father and still I struggle. The only way I'm geting through it right now is by ignoring it. In my mind he's just still at work. I have to come to the truth eventually. But I just have to wait untill I'm out of the military to do so, because it's an environment where not many people give a $***. Hang on my friend. I'm so sorry.

Answer 6

1st off sorry to hear about your mom,I know your pain is one of the worst feelings to have like none other.It is one of the biggest tragedies a child has to endure in life when a parent dies and it sucks!!, when my grandma died I cried for her every time I thought about her or heard a sad song for the first year or so after she died,she was like my mom and died unexpectedly this was in1996 I still think of her all the time.The main thing you have to get a good place either alone or with a good friend and let it all out talk,cry whatever, it does feel good to let it out once in a while you know,also remember she is not suffering anymore and she is always with you in spirit and memory take care and best wishes!

Answer 7

The space developed in such a way can never be filled. But intensity of the sorry will get declined through time. Time is the medicine for such days of sadness.

Answer 8

That's very sad, I am sorry to hear that. When someone close to me passes away, I find that eating candy helps me cheer up. Also, I try to preoccupy myself completely with an activity such as watching a movie or practicing piano. I hope you feel better and I give my deepest sympathies to your mother.

Answer 9

It depends on what kind of person you are, are you a thinker or a feeler?

For a thinker, realizing that every single family in all of human history has had to deal with this issue with no exceptions may "awaken" your understanding of death.

For a feeler, it may be the sympathy/empathy of others or thinking of her being in a "better" place.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a loved one a few years ago. It's never easy. Allow yourself time to grieve. You don't have to be strong. I made the mistake of trying to be all strong and I don't believe I allowed myself enough time to naturally mourn. Losing someone is devestating, and I don't care who you are, or how strong a person one believes themselves to be; when you love someone it is the worst thing imaginable to lose them, and in all fairness you should spend the time you need in mourning the loss of your Mother. I haven't lost my Mother yet, I can't imagine. We wouldn't even be hear without our Mother, and I honestly don't know if I could have made it through the last few years of my life without the help of my Mom. I do believe that in mourning one can receive a great deal of comfort and come to understanding. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Anyways, take care, and sorry for your loss.