Who in your life let you down the most?

Question

This would be someone you put great trust in and, for whatever reason, they let you down and it has remained a traumatic event in your life. Or, how did you come to terms with it? Perhaps others could be helped by your answer. Thanks.

We all put our greatest trust in our mothers and therefore we all experience disappointment to some degree. Someone once said, "Few of us survive the upbringing of our parents." The statements below are very touching. Except for Waterlil who seems to be enjoying her lovely trailer all day - and night - long. Try bon-bons, Waterlili, as you watch your soaps.

Answer 1

my mom and dad..... well see they gave up and divorced when i was younger than 1. dad said she couldn't have custody, big fight there, he won... about a year later mom left california and left me and dad, didn't get another mother figure for about a year and a half almost two years. but then again my dad turned around and walked the exact opposite direction from my mom and neither of them ever turned around, ever. they have gotten in many fights over me and custody and visits over the phone, last one was i think last year. dad uses living with me mom as a threat when i dissappoint him or something of the sort. i have been to counseling before, more than once. i told both of them how i felt, it made me feel better, even if i did cry for hours on end after each conversation, but i will never let go of the hate and pain that i went through because of my parents, or so i hvae been told by the psychiatrist. But the first thing to do is to figure everything out within yourself. in this case put yourself before all others. sounds selfish but you can find the root of the problem within yourself and from there work outwards to the people that are a part of the problem. but thats my story and advice.

Answer 2

First, if the betrayal is truly that traumatic, you might consider seeing a psychotherapist for a few visits. You have a resentment toward that person that you haven't resolved. Resolutions to those problems are not easily answered in this type of forum.

The other point to remember for the future, is to NEVER expect others to do what you hope, wish, or think they will do.

If you set great expectations from others, you are bound to be very disappointed and hurt on a fairly regular basis. Don't have expectations that someone will do as you ask, and you won't be disappointed when it doesn't happen.

I'm not saying, never trust anyone, but just be sure the other one has a history of keeping things in confidence. If you don't get that feeling, DON'T CONFIDE IN THAT PERSON! Only you will get hurt.

Answer 3

My mother. The 2 most traumatic and life changing events in my life revolved around her reaction to them.
1. My step father touched my chest. I told her about it. Instead of having any faith in me, she asked him. He denied it, so she called me a liar and never had much trust in me again.
2. My mother remarrying. Although she didn't do anything herself, the act of her having a grand ceremony to declare and commit her love to someone other than me (it had always been just the two of us) when I was 6 was totally devasting. I felt entirely cast aside and like my love was of little importance.

I worked through #2 simply by realizing I was having the feelings and reactions I was becasue of this event. I realized this at 18 or so. I knew that my mother did in fact love me, never meant to harm, and that this was a common event. However, I recently realized this has alot to do with why I put little trust in anyone and have always been a loner. I can't bear to have my heart so broken by someone so close to me again, and therefore have essentially been friendship and romance free my whole adult life (I'm 29). Knoiwing now where it comes from I think I can start venturing out more fervently.

The first one though, I still haven't gotten over. I still feel very cast aside and marred for it. Very hurt.

Answer 4

I let myself down the most, i knew early on that I needed extensive therapy and didn't get anywhere near enough. I've lived a life of lies. Nobody knows and i'll die with lots of regrets. Anybody who has experienced family violence, family alcoholism, molestation, incest or any abuse as a child has to get good therapy in order to lead a productive life. I have no one to blame but myself. Do not cover it up and pretend it's not there. Get help now!

Answer 5

My parents.

It was a joint effort. They succeeded. I am still trying to come to terms with it.

I wanted to pursue a career in art. They said no way, I had no talent, no promise, I was dreaming, etc etc etc. I was forced into a secretarial venue, helped support the family instead of college, finally escaped from them and got married and had children. Lots of artsy craftsy stuff, den mother, knitting, sewing, quilting, beading, watercolors, drawing class, man! I am still stuck in an office job I absolutely HATE!!!!!!!

Whine whine whine, right?

Answer 6

My mother let me down more than anyone. Because I made the worse mistake of my life six months ago and she turned her back on me. I lost my kids and everything I had and went to her for help and she refused to help me. So the only people I had to turn to wanted things I did not want to do in order to help.

Answer 7

Its my own wife who let me down the most and specially in front of others. Thats why I am separated after 32 years of marriage. I could never come to terms with her.

Answer 8

My mother..........Abandoned me at 2 weeks old and will never know the love of her grandchildren by her own choice. I have looked for her, but she has changed her name and address so many times it has proven impossible in over 30 years of looking. Although I do wish her happiness, she is the one that let me down the most.......

Answer 9

I stayed with mother till the cancer went to her brain and killed her,helping her for nine months .and she went crazy like,she had already had problems. and it wasn't her fault, but she called the law on me thirty four times, for things like i didn't get out of bed quickly enough, and she hollered and screamed at me, but if i didn't stay she would have been put in a mental home place to die by my brothers.so i HAD to stay even though i wasnt up for it emotionaly.and it was terrible and i still cant sleep at night with out a pill and take paxil for depression, and its been years since she died and i loved her so very such.But this hurt me so much her putting me down and holloring at me.I know she didnt mean it, one time she told me that she didnt mean a word, but it still hurts.

Answer 10

my husband. i knew him for 19 years. been married 8 years out of the 19. we were best friends. i thought he knew me more than anyone. i had great trust in him. then i married him and found out he wasnt the guy i thought he was. i was fooled for so many years. i wasted so many years thinking he was my best friend when he ended up being the one who would hurt me the most. im now divorcing him.