I just moved into my first new place and I'm having difficulty adapting. I love the freedom and enjoying most of the life style. My question is, does it take awhile to get use to everything? For example this weekend I just sat on my butt and watch basketball tournament. The whole time I felt guilty becuase I felt like I should be doing something. Like work or something. That I should be busy. I was raised to the point where I felt like there was always something to be done. HOw do you break this habit? How do you find out who you are now that you are on your own? In other words, how can one "FIND THEMSELVES"? Its a new lifestyle and a new world.
2007-03-11 17:14:50 · 5 answers · asked by wonderbubba9778 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
for me, i find that when i'm alone/by myself I think a lot about life in general. I guess when you bring people into your life, it also helps you to "find yourself" as well.
2007-03-11 17:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good sign that you're thinking in these terms - it demonstrates you possess maturity supported by how responsible and positive-minded your 'habits' are. Not only your parents deserve credit for raising you this way - you do too! Its all good, bro.
Finding yourself is not necessarily something that requires your complete focus. It's cool, actually praiseworthy, that you care as much about yourself that you want to do this on-your-own thing right. You might be a tad overly conscientious right now, so there's something to work on - deal with that before it gets the better of the your esteem, and trust you'll be needing that along the way.
Finding yourself is not something simple that's going to come to you like an epiphany. It takes time. A lifetime.
Our sense of direction is often motivated by having it challenged with these things we know about ourselves - and want to know about ourselves. Seems you're off to a good start there. You know things about the way you are, and why. You want to both apply and expand on that, and you shall.
Now, you said well-adjusted is part of who you want to be and I believe you so - you're doing well to veg for a while, watch a sport you like, take some time for yourself. The mistake you're making is common, especially when we first start out in life we think, feel and behave in strict and absolute terms.
You can look forward to those horizons broadening - and as they do you'll know when to lighten up - and when to buckle down. Its a balancing act.
Often when we have the good intention of keeping ourselves honest, we allow guilt to exist where it doesn't belong. If you really feel like you 'should be doing something' it needs to be for a better reason than to assuage some empty, abritrary guilt. Ask yourself: Where did that come from? Is it because you're blowing off things that really matter and require your immediate attention? Yes? Then get off your *** and tend to those things. No? Then quit haunting your own mind with negative dialogue. We all do it. But we need to cut it out when we catch ourselves. Spare yourself the self-defeat routine whenever you can - and behold, you will gradually emerge within yourself.
I have a prediction that you're going to be mostly proud of yourself as that potential is revealed to you - and fulfilled by you over time. And that's the bottom line. The answer is that it takes nothing less than time to find yourself.
~Best Regards~
2007-03-12 01:42:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sugar_Bean 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's kind of New Age Psycho-babble, but give yourself permission to relax. It's okay to kick back and let yourself unwind. I did it for 7 years between wives! It was awesome! Seriously, as long as the place is relatively clean, the hamper doesn't smell or move on its own, you can still see the bottom of the sink and the bathroom door isn't stuck shut, you're probably doing a good job. Enjoy!
2007-03-12 00:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by sparkletina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax and enjoy the new freedom. So you watched a game on tv big deal. It was your day off.
You can take weekend classes or volunteer at some nonprofit places, Habitat for humanity is always looking.
2007-03-12 00:23:07 · answer #4 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...sitting on your butt one weekend each MONTH would not be so bad--if you found things that you liked to do the other three weekends of the month. Think about places you'd like to see, and things you would like to do. Then, go out and go for it. It's not so hard, but as you said, could take a bit of adjusting.
2007-03-12 00:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋