My fiancees' ex-wife asks for his help all of the time. I understand when she calls to ask if he can pick up the kids when she can't but I get fed up when she locks her keys in the car and wants him to help her....etc. etc. Am I being jealous or is this uncalled for......I think it is her way to keep him under her wraps. Am I right?????
2007-03-11 17:08:36 · 27 answers · asked by mtkarens@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sure are right! She needs to stop playing him and he needs to stop allowing it. She gave up her rights to have him help her when they got divorced. He needs to put his foot down and tell her NO MORE! He's not the only man in the world that can help her. She needs to find one and leave yours alone!
2007-03-11 17:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by s w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 100% right and guess what ? it's up to YOU to put the limits. Right now, his is only the father of her kids, nothing else. Tell him that every time you make a choice we have to deal with its consequences and if he wants to make things work, it is better he does his part before become too late. Don't go by those BS's that we have kids together so I have to do this and that because of the kids. The only thing he is obligated to do, is to be a good father period. When the kids are under her care, she is the responsible one and deal with the problems that may come to her way, the same thing about him. I guess he doesn't call her when he needs something done. They are separate, it means separate lives. If you are fed up with this crap, leave it clear to him, otherwise you will end up marring him and his ex-wife too. You already have to deal with kids that are not yours...he should appreciate that and don't push you too much. She is using the kids to get advantage, and I am sure he is aware of that, after all he knows her very well too.
2007-03-11 17:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh.my.god, first of all, if you are marrying this man, you must know about the children and the wife correct? You have to accept that there was and will be a link between your fiancee and his ex because of the children. However, i agree that it is uncalled for when she locks her keys in the car and calls her ex!? that is wrong! because, she must know he has his life to continue and that the reason for the divorce was to part their separate ways (in that situation). If anything like locking her car keys (something she can ask a friend or neighbour) happen again, and she calls (its definitely on purpose, shes not letting him move on!) then perhaps you should mention it gently the reason why his ex keeps relying on him when he's not her husband anymore. Hope this helps.
2007-03-11 17:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Ringo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about as a last act of kindness he gets her AAA membership, basic home repair from Home Depot, an answering machine that states “WE” are not available to answer your call.
Maybe she is trying to keep him under wraps or she is dependant on him for taking care of the things he probably always took care of.
Jealousy is a natural feeling to this situation. Some people feed on others jealousy.
You need to state what you are thinking with your man and if the situation doesn’t change take action for protecting your feelings.
(Call your ex the next time you need help)
2007-03-11 17:42:16 · answer #4 · answered by Tricia C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its acceptable if it involves the kids. It sounds like she's trying to keep him around a little. I don't think you're being jealous, I think you're totally right. Does he know how you feel? I'd let him know and do NOT let him brush it off. He should be annoyed by this as well. Its time for her to move on, be a big girl, and get her own locksmith/handy man. He needs to be a man and say "no" when its not kid related.
Good luck :)
2007-03-11 17:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm thinking 2 issues right here. a million. once you married a guy with childrens, you ought to assume some pushback. 2. Your husband desires to enhance some balls. HE desires to tell the youngsters that they are able to purely use the telephone such a good number of cases an afternoon. properly, 3 issues. you ought to circulate. in the adventure that your husband won't cooperate, only go away for awhile. No threats, no tears, no ultimatums. go and visit a pal out of city for a week. Say which you purely choose some area. do no longer point out the youngsters.
2016-11-24 21:42:23 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are right, i went through a similar situation were my ex would ask me to fix her tub or the lawn mower and being the push over i am i did it for a while,then yes i realized that was her way of not loosing her hold on me.
what will help is if she calls and need something,if its something you can do tell your fiance to tell her that you will be there to help her and if its not make sure your always there with him,and if it stops after that you will know you were right and she will get tired of seeing you tag along and stop calling.and if she don't stop calling she is just pathetic and doesn't have any other friends.
2007-03-11 17:20:42 · answer #7 · answered by mike o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, she needs to stop on depending on him, but will she do that? Probably not. At least, not as long as he’s answering her calls for help. But, he’s probably answering all her calls for help because of the kids. For example: locked keys in the car means she has no transportation, so if one of the kids broke their arm…
2007-03-11 18:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off you should be glad that your fiancee has a good relationship with his ex. this shows that he is a good person. i think you are needlessly worrying. remember she is the ex-wife. there is a reason they are divorced. probably more than one reason. maybe she is trying to keep hold of him but she had her chance. he is yours now. don't blow a good thing with jealousy. the bottom line here is that you can't control how other people feel or what they do. if he is committed to you no matter what she does he will be true. good luck!
2007-03-11 17:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by elliemay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get fed up to. The only contact they need to have is when it comes to the kids, anything other than that is not his problem. He needs to tell her that contact is about the kids only and any other problems she needs to call someone else.
Has she got anyone she can call like family or friends, or is there only him.
You must talk to your partner and let him know how you are feeling instead of letting it get to you.
2007-03-11 17:17:08 · answer #10 · answered by shellhiggs07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're placeing blame on the wrong person. If HE didn't want her attention then HE would tell her to call someone else...or to get AAA for the next time she locks her keys in the car...So I would say you'd better learn to tolerate it because obviously he is allowing her to do it.
2007-03-11 17:22:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋