o.k, I'm a 17 year old male. But I gotta admit something shameful. I have no knowledge nor experience in my life in dealing with people in a relationship. Ever since I was small my father taught me to be always nice to people and accept them when they need me. But growing up I found life a lot different. It's that every time someone asks me for something I always say "yes" regardless of how hard the situation might be on me. Then when I ask them for something they always think twice and sometimes reject more then they accept. I'm so nice to people, I always laugh when someone makes a joke and it isn't even funny. I'm always lenient when it comes to my right, but when it comes to other people rights for my sake, they never sacrifice it for me. This is especially with my friends. My question is; how do you deal with people in a way you are not too nice and not too mean?. At the same time people would accept you and like you for who you are?
2007-03-11 16:44:57 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sometimes you have to stand your ground, If you have to say NO- say no. What other people think of you really is insignificant. From what I've read it sounds like you are being taken advantage of at times. You've already established yourself as a nice kind person, so when you need to refuse somebody something you should just do it. If people don't respect your response to them then thats their own problem not yours
2007-03-11 16:53:10 · answer #1 · answered by d-always.learnin 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, I am glad that you are that nice because you can't really find people that nice anymore, but anyways if I were you I would just make up an excuse like if someone says "Can I borrow a pencil" and if I know that person will never return my pencil back then I would say "Oh sorry this is my last one" or if you don't want to lie then you can just try sarcasm (people never mind sarcasm) But don't stop being yourself though and don't let them take advantage
2007-03-11 23:54:32 · answer #2 · answered by Just Ask :-) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be true to yourself. You don't need to be mean to stand your ground. Some people have the knack of being assertive but very polite. One way if someone is trying to push you down a road you don't like is to use the broken record technique. That is you continue to repeat your mantra every time the person tries to put you in a position you don't like.
Example ' Sorry G I don't want to ...." As I said G I am not going to...." "Let me repeat I am not..." etc etc
Every now and again someone who is treating you like a carpet needs a tough reminder and that is not a bad time to lose your temper a little so the person comes away thinking "whew I never heard him say that before I had better watch how I push him in the future"
Go for it!
2007-03-12 07:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by kenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to the question needs to come from yourself. You need that very specialized sort of education called psychotherapy. Paying for it would probably be cheaper than learning from experience. I strongly recommend you get a therapist to help you grow on this issue.
You could also read self help books on assertiveness training, but the live coaching of a therapist would give you more support. Also, just growing older will help some with this.
2007-03-12 00:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Joffe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is one thing you need to learn. The things you will do for others, they will not always do for you.
I used to always be a yes person and that got tiring. I realized that you can only please one person and that one person should always be yourself. If you try to please someone else, you won't be happy and you will make others unhappy.
Stop laughing at peoples jokes if they aren't funny. Don't always say yes when you really mean no. Put yourself first sometimes. Most times. It feels so much better.
In the end, people will respect you more and won't walk all over you.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 00:01:31 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
use the word "sorry" without followed with "but".
if you nice to other, don't wait other be nice to you, that is not nice...... get it?
even astrology said we are compatible with only 1/3 of population.....
yes, stand your ground, people will see, and judge, if they see you ok, they will come closer and closer to the apropiate distance. but if you change your style and follow trend blindly, you may lost your personality and people will have a hard time trying to know you.
2007-03-12 00:11:34 · answer #6 · answered by Henry W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself...if a joke isn't funny don't laugh at it....if you don't want to help someone say NO...it's as easy at that. You keep acting the way you are you will be a pushover for the rest of your life...stop living YOUR life to please others!!!
2007-03-12 00:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by mamadeira_09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude start to give a **** bout u i was like you stop being a pushover or to nice being nice to people well come back but dont let people take advantage of your genersoity or kindnes
speak up bro let people know u got to be heard but not rudley of course your too nice get a little mean no to mean ok god bless
2007-03-11 23:50:34 · answer #8 · answered by psychic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you seem like a great guy .. and saying yes its not the answer. do things for you first then try to help. as for dealing w/ people who dont care. you be the bigger person.
2007-03-11 23:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sarcasm
2007-03-11 23:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋