If he told you all of his insecurities and shortcomings, failures mistakes and regrets, even cried in front of you when he couldn't believe why you still stuck with him even though he thinks he's f-ed up and unstable...Would you lose that female attraction toward him as a man?
the boyfriend is me by the way. she thinks i'm a great guy and loves me but i'm not sure if being open and emotional with her was a great idea, well what do you think???????
2007-03-11 16:21:09 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
We've been going out for 2 years so this wasn't after I just met her.
2007-03-12 20:48:17 · update #1
Perhaps opening up to her and trusting her with your innermost confidence endeared you even more to her. That would have been an honor for me, the trust that you bestowed.
2007-03-11 16:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by JADE 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What you did is the right think ... why here is the important thing that you might never notice.
1. Guys was brought up to be strong and never let out your feeling or when you fall your parent surely say don't cry like girls and say boys never cry. so what happens (All your anger,problem,disappointment etcc ... bottle up in your heart)
2. Guys should handle all the money pay bills & fee that's what your parent have been doing since you were a child. And so what happens (You get Tense when you are out of job, get low pay, can't afford school fee for kids, no time for family only work). Salotion is: In your bible I am sure it written that husband and wife should help each other in all the way and in the part that you travel. I hope that you bible didn't mention what are guys duty and women duty right! Is all in our head if you think is only guys duty then it is otherwise is not when women can help out. Don't have ego we are all equall. just different is boy and girl nothing more or less.
3. Guys should be a leader of house, business etcc... so what happens (You get anger quite offen even at small stuff, pist off, want to be alone, drink alcohol to forget problems or smoke and in the end you end up in the hospital but regreting for all you did).
I recommend you to read this book it will really help you out and I hope my answer would help you and open you mind to new direction the book is: { 'What Women Want Men To Know' is a book for men and women alike. Barbara De Angelis reveals what makes women tick, just why it is they do what they do – in relationships, in bed, and in day to day communication. And what they want from their men.
Essential reading for the man who wants to understand his partner better, it is also a must for the woman who wants to understand her own relationship and needs: “first and foremost this book is for you as a woman to read. It wasn’t written just to help men understand you – it is an invitation for you to know and understand yourself more than you ever have before… ”
The book includes the top 10 turn offs for women in bed and the top 10 turn ons.
At a time when our stressed-out lifestyles are making healthy, fulfilled relationships increasingly elusive, the foremost female writer in this genre has provided, yet again, a route to a greater understanding of the one you love.
This is vintage De Angelis. }
2007-03-11 17:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by love_rescue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's normal. If you're a real man, you won't let those insecurities affect the relationship in a negative way. Being in a relationship is about being vulnerable. If you're a good guy, you will not be emotionally unavailable.
And also depending on the types of secrets you would share, if you betrayed me later because of your insecurities, I'd use it all against you later and make your life miserable.
And don't listen to Mr. Crank. A healthy relationship has nothing to do with power and everything to do with respect and trust.
2007-03-11 16:25:59 · answer #3 · answered by Neophyte 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am a woman who was taught is was week to cry...it was hard the first time i saw a man cry.i thought he was a fake.as i got older my perceptions have changed.first: crying is a way to release pent up emotion.second:telling everything may be a little too much.we all have skelatons in our closet's.if she ask about a certain situation then be honest..i am also one who had thought i was so bad NO ONE could possibly love me!if she is there with you she must want to be.right?have a little faith.always remember god know what we have done and he is the only one whom we have to answer too.it is natural to want the 1 u lov 2 know u inside @ out but past is past!leave it and start fresh.enjoy @ i wish u the very best.
2007-03-11 16:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by t w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you are vulnerable to her and she looses that attraction to you then she wasn't worth being with in the first place. She should like you no matter what. If she loves you you should be able to tell her anything and nothing you say will stop that love. I personally feel that when my boyfriend is being vulnerable he is being honest. If your not honest then you're not being yourself. You need to ask yourself if you want to be with someone you can't be honest and open with without the possibility of losing her.
2007-03-11 16:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband did this with me and I loved him for it because he showed me that he's a real man who was willing to be mature about who he was. What keeps me close and keeps me loving him is that my husband holds on to how emotional and vulnerable he is while being masculine, strong, and level-headed when I need him to be the very most. I suggest that you do the same thing with your girlfriend and everything will turn out fine - remember that you ARE the MAN!
2007-03-11 16:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by Dimples 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its totally normal to feel insecure after opening a part of yourself that usually stays within. We're all uncomfortable with that level of intimacy because we don't live there. But if this relationship has gone to the point where u could share that, she should be receptive to you as a person, and love you for that, and not for some ideal that is the shallowest form of love. Have faith in her! We all share that dark place we must eventually share, and no one normal can do it without discomfort. You're fine, honey.
2007-03-11 16:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by Stormy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's never anything wrong with opening up and being honest. Intimacy isn't always physical. Part of getting to know someone is learning about what makes them tick. And your sharing your deepest feelings is helping you and your girlfriend to reach a new level of intimacy. Anyone can sleep together, but until they really know each other they won't really be truly intimate. If she loves you, she will definitely not lose her attraction. It should make her feel closer to you.
2007-03-11 16:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by Liza 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
that just means you are a real nonfake man. If a woman can`t respect a good honest man now-a-days.Then she dose`nt need one.To many dishonest men in the world.I believe it will bring you more closer, It brought my husband an i together!
christinac
2007-03-11 16:35:09 · answer #9 · answered by faithfully ronnie`s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well...it depends how much you know her. Say if I had a boyfriend of a year plus and we were really close, it wouldn't make me loose respect for him at all. It would be actually very brave of him.
If he is a new-ish boyfriend though, it might freak me out.
Either way, if you ever end up together for a long time...she'll need to know at some point!
2007-03-11 16:24:58 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Where have you been all my life? If my b/f did all this in front of me, I would have all the respect in the world for him. If he cried in front of me- I would cry with him.
Not too many men would do this.
God Bless
2007-03-11 16:35:17 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋