marriage question?

Question

hey me and my girl are still juniors in high school and well we both are completely in love with each other and i was wondering when would be the best time to pop the question in this case the biggest decision in her life and well i think its still a bit early to think about it but i was wondering what other people thought cuz after all my mother got married to my dad as a junior but that was 21 years ago. help!

Answer 1

How about starting out with a promise ring....I think that would be sweet. You are young and maybe you need to make sure that you do go to college first..both of you..because if you love her.. you will want to give her the life she derseves and the fact is.. it takes money...alot.

I think its very sweet if you started with a promise ring.

Best wishes

Answer 2

Hi- I am glad you found the girl of your dreams- but it is a little early to go down the marriage aisle- afterall, how can you afford to support her? Do you have a trust fund that the two of you can live off? Your parents either had parents that helped them, had trust funds themselves, or had a really hard time making ends meet especially if neither went to college....which is fine for 20 years ago, but today, a manager at McD's needs a business degree---.

There is no reason why you can't discuss how much you both love eachother and plan to go to the same college if possible and discuss careers and when, after almost finishing or finishing college and getting a job you can plan on marriage. Don't forget- with marriage comes children---and that is a whole new financial burden that as a junior in high school you really aren't ready for...

You may not want to hear this but your parents ARE the best people to talk to regarding your feelings. You KNOW that they are in no way, shape or form able to convince you of anything you do not want to do but they are living life lessons of the EXACT situation you want to jump into--- who better to tell you the pros and cons of the "early years" of marriage than your parents? and by the way, do the math- you came along a couple years after they got married and I don't know if you have any older siblings......

If you took your families situation from 20 years ago and placed them in OUR ECONOMY TODAY--- you would be DIRT POOR---and that's the truth--if you have any doubts, read the want ads and what they are paying and without medical benefits----sooo, unless her parents, your parents or you have a grandparent that has blessed you with a trust fund, hold off on the marriage bit until you can truly support your love of your life---don't you think she deserves the best things in life, and do you really feel you can afford to keep her in the standards she is even living in now? The average haircut and color across america is at least $100 and most get their hair done every 4-6 weeks- 1200 a year just for HER haircut.

Tell her how much you care-- and there is nothing wrong with planning your futures together--but realistically, In the early 70's it was easy to live on practically no income- Reagonomics-- money went far and jobs were abundant...sad to say, not today...........good luck to you and the love of your life.......enjoy eachother and like I said, if you go away to school together, it will be like you're married- no folks around, no curfew....you get my drift.

Answer 3

Just keep this in mind - Who you would marry today is not the same person you would marry 5 years from now. Your much too young to even think about marriage. Date and enjoy the spice of life, see the world, go to college, -- you will not want to miss the college scene as a married man because you would be single by the time it's over. Enjoy life and if you still feel the same in 5 to 10 years than ask her. Or think if it this way; Do you really want to take away her possibilities of everything I just said? You said you love her - So why leave her with babies and no life other than trying to find another man who will take a ready made family? Be smart - wait, she will love you more for it.

Answer 4

In your Junior Year of COLLEGE!!
Experience life a little before settling down. Marriage changes things, no matter how long you've been in love or dating. You need to figure out who you are, first.

Please, wait. You have a long life ahead of you. If you are still in love in three or four years, then pop the question. If not, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache and money on a divorce attorney.

ASK YOUR PARENTS!! That is awesome that they have been married this long as highschool sweethearts. They are certainly not an ordinary couple. Ask the advice of couples you know who have been married more than two years, too. We married people are full of advice.
I got married at 23, had my daughter at 27 and am so happy I lived a good life prior to finding my soul mate!

Good luck

Answer 5

Well it depends. Have you two talked about marriage before? Would you be able to support yourselves if you got married this young or would your parents let you guys live with them for a while?Popping the question is EASY, it's what happens after the marriage thats the hard part.Some young people are very mature and it could work it just depends on what goals you two have set for yourselves and how you plan on attaining them. A lot can happen between the ages of 17 and 23 so think carefully about all that before jumping into anything.Good luck!

Answer 6

It's very early to decide what you really want at this time of life. You both are too young and the choices that look best now might turn out to be a disaster in the years to come, though I'm not saying that your relationship will invariably turn out to be so.

Some very young couples' marriage lasted lifetime and proved to be very rewarding, but sometimes,or may be many a times, it's really a hasty decision. What about waiting for sometime and then if you still feel the same about each other then go for it, may be you are meant for each other!

Answer 7

Surely you guys can wait 1 more year to finish high school. If your that much in love then the time will go by fast. I would ask her if I felt comfortable doing so but mention it will be at least a year before any kind of date is set.. You don't have to jump right into things as soon as you pop the question. But at least with that thought in mind and a ring on her finger she won't be attracting any other guys. They will know she is spoken for.
Hope this helps.

Answer 8

If you're that much in love, then continue your dating for a few more years to make sure it "lives the test of time" because high school is just too young to consider marriage. You have, hopefully, college ahead for both of you, and then work. In between all this craziness if you two find yourselves getting closer and being more in love, then it will just make things better in the future.

You don't want to rush in thinking it's love, then with pressure of college, work, trying for family, etc., that it just falls apart and it wasn't love after all.

Honestly, you're probably no better waiting than not waiting, but waiting will give your relationship a better chance to flourish and mature. I have friend who married in their 20's and some worked, while others failed.

Anyway, good luck and continued success in your relationship.

Answer 9

You could pop the question any time, but I strongly suggest you not set the date until you are both out of high school and preferably out of college or established in your careers. The extra and outrageous cost can put a heavy strain on any marriage and if a baby comes along, though a blessing, that would be even more expense and strain.
Wish you both well.
.

Answer 10

I'd wait at least until after you graduate (or even better, college). If you're married now that increases your chances of having a kid and then you risk dropping out. You may not want to think of this but she may not be the one so there's no point in rushing it. You might as well finish school first because if you truly do love her then you will want to have a happy life, not one that is full of stress and wondering how you're going to pay your next bill. My cousin did that and its hell for her.

Answer 11

You are too young to be considering marriage. Things were different when your mom and dad got married. Back then, a man could support a family with a job he got right out of highschool. That if extremely difficult today. Get an education and a job which pays a decent wage. THEN consider marriage.

Probably not what you want to hear, but it is the truth.