Would you stay or would you go?

Question

if you were with a man for almost 8 yrs married for almost 3 of those, you have two small children together, but are very very unhappy. Have tried everything but counceling, because he refuses it. We do not get along very well at all.... I have tried and tried to make myself happy, but just isnt working. Would you stay or would you go?

Answer 1

If you feel you are having a problem with being happy, then you should go to counseling. Its not up to anyone else to make you happy. that is something you do yourself

Answer 2

people get divorced all the time, and things always work out. i know the main thing that is probably keeping you there is your kids, but the truth is that you're kids will thank you for it later on down the road. my mom and dad got a divorce when i was 13. my mom said that she wanted to leave for years, but didn't want to because me and my brother were just little. i was glad after they got a divorce because they didn't get along and all they did was fight, and we had to listen to that. it was a little hard trying to adjust to the change, but it worked out. i told mom that she should have done it when we were little because the shock of the change wouldn't have been so bad when you are that young compared to when a kid is 13. if you are unhappy there is no reason to stay. that is the worse thing you can go through in life. why spend it unhappy when you could find someone that will make you happy. don't feel selfish for leaving and breaking up the family, tons of people do this, and it's usually for the better. i feel that it is worse to stay and make yourself and your kids go through that for any longer.
good luck, and try to do the right thing that is best for you.

Answer 3

Well personally I don't see any reason you all would want to stay together if your not happy. I could understand that you are taking yalls young children into consideration but just think they are young and may not understand so well but if you stay unhappy and they have to listen to yall argue and carry on then that will hurt them more. You both can still be in ur kids life so y not be happy! Your kids will begin to realize that you all are not happy together and that could take a toll on them. They may not completely understand it now but when they get older the will and if yall decided to split then then they will be hurt alot deeper! I don't care how young your kids are they are still able to pick up that mommy and daddy aren't happy. You need to be happy so that you can be there alot more for your kids instead of always worrying about your trouble!!!!!

Answer 4

I would discuss a trial separation. Sometimes you just don't marry the right person, and it doesn't work out. Don't beat yourself up about it, just try to be strong and discuss with him a separation and how you would handle how he would see the children. If he agrees, then start a legal separation proceeding with a lawyer. If after a year, you see that nothing has changed and he has not tried to be a better husband and father, then file for divorce and eventually move on. There is life after divorce and maybe down the road there could be someone special for you that will love and cherish you and your children. There are nice men out there believe me.

Answer 5

Sometimes people just fall out of love, and the relationship just won't work anymore. If he absolutely refuses counseling, I'd hit the road. If your unhappy, your children will sense it, and you have to do everything you can to keep them safe and happy. Could be time for a new beginning. Good Luck!

Answer 6

I sure would want to go if I were you. I hope you have the strength for it; I remember being that unhappy for that long, and it took me a looooong time to finally find the strength to say: enough is enough! Only if you are happy within yourself can things work out; things won't just change on their own, you have already recognized that...and I don't believe in, ...for the sake of the kids...'cause if you are miserable, they will feel it, too!

Answer 7

You have to put your children first. Yes they need a mother and yes they need a father but if either of them is unhappy, they will transfer that unhappiness onto their children. The children will then be unhappy too. If you separate, it will be hard for them, but you will individually be able to provide your children with the parents they need.

Answer 8

Go to counseling yourself. There are probably a number of things that the counselor will suggest that you consider and/or try before throwing in the towel. You owe it to your child exhaust all possibilities before leaving.

It's not likely, but your husband may agree to go to counseling after he has seen that you have the courage to do so without him. It may take a few months, but it's worth giving it a shot.

Answer 9

If he won't go to counseling then at least you should for your own sake. Your first responsibility is for your kids. Then I would give him an ultimatum. Either he gets with the program and come to marriage counseling with you, or you two are through.

Answer 10

If it were me i would stay and try to seek marriage counseling and help and see if my wife would want and be open to going with me before giving up on the marriage. You need to try the counseling now ... If after counseling it still does not work then and only them seperate if need be.