Hey guys! I want to ask mainly Philippinos how do they treat or perceive a relationship of a male Filipino with a white girl? I have had a Filipino boyfriend and he told me that me being other colour might not be understood in Philippines and in US as well. One of my friends read in airlines bookle that for a Filipino a relationship with a whiite woman gives him a higher social status and to his family. I was a little bit shocked by that! Is that really true? How do you see this guys?? Does the age difference mean a lot as well ) my boyfriens was quite older than me) There was another difference between us: I have higher education and his education is pretty poor and he felt really bad about that...
I just want to understand, so I will apprieciate any comment!
Thanks.
Ola
2007-03-11 15:33:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Asia Pacific ➔ Philippines
Some of you wrote that people might wonder what the Filipino has done to win my heart. Why is that? Why is it so strange? To tell you the truth, my Filipino told me that he cannot understand why such person like me wants to be with him...
2007-03-12 10:12:32 · update #1
it's only being look that way by ignorant people. don't let them bother you. if you will always worry about what other people think you will never live your life the way you want it and you will never enjoy it.
age difference doesn't matter too. as long as your in love with each other. me and my husband has 8 years age gap. and I enjoy his maturity.
if his really bothered by his lack of higher education you should encourage him to go back to school.
2007-03-11 15:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a real pity that your boyfriend is thinking all these unnecessary thoughts about himself and your relationship. It is true, that the Asian guy-white girl couple is rare compared to Asian girl/white man. For that feat, the Pinoy (in your case) is most applauded because he has won over your heart. If anything, people will think that (in the future when) you have kids, they will have an exotic look because of your racial combination. That is why society thinks being associated with a white woman in marriage "improves" a man's status. The age gap isn't that big of a deal, unless he is old enough to be your Dad but then again it's really nobody's business.
He should not feel in any way insecure, of your educational achievement. As long as you both agree that you have a good thing going on, everything you hear from other people is just envy. If he wishes to improve on anything, encourage him to puruse his education, or take classes together.
More power to you and your Pinoy boyfriend.
2007-03-12 06:46:25 · answer #2 · answered by Tammy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a Pinoy. I am white Kano with a Pinay fiance. It is my understanding that having a relationship, especially marriage with a white person (bonus for American) will raise the status of your spouse and often times the entire family. When I visited my pinay's family the neighbors were really interested in what was going on and they all wanted to be friends with them suddenly.
The age difference is not something you should worry about as long as you both truly love each other. Don't worry about what others think. Filipino people are very loving, kind, and happy people. My guess is that he will treat you like his queen.
The world is changing. The internet is making our world more open to increased communication and is now bridging the gaps that are created by far distances, mountains, deserts, and oceans. Be understanding of each others culture. My only advice to you is to be sure that your children don't lose their Filipino heritage as the American culture can be quite overpowering.
2007-03-11 22:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by Roger S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Goodness!!! i am amazed at some of the answers on your question..... Filipinas staying at home???? hellloooooo.... where have you been all your life luosechi????
I have friends who are married to foreigners on both sexes and they never have problems with anyone. Oh, and btw.... loads of filipinas are actually executives, degree holders/professionals..... they don't sell food in the market!!! That's such an insult!!!! And why would a woman goes and drive a bloody tricycle, jeepneys and or bus if she got a Bachelours degree on her belt???? BTW luosechi, all my Aunts are either School Prinicpals, import-export company owners, 3 doctors and a Biochemist.... and my mom's the head of an Accounting firm in Germany before she retired.
I'm a product of a mix marriage and my parents never ever had/have any problems with Pinoys when they're back in Phil. In small villages like in every countries... if a villagers marry someone who's different from their own-of course it will create controversy-either good or bad....
Just go for it if you know its the right thing for you-when it comes to your bf's educational status-he can always go back to school to acquire more qualifications...... as long as you love, care and respect each other-who cares what the outside world says, its the two of you that matters!!!
2007-03-12 03:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by MJ M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have just the opposite condition. Was born in Europe, lived in US, and married a filipina. Lot depends on where you are planning to live. in Metro Manila it doesn't matter. Maybe in some of the remote places it does. Regardless, if you're a male foreigner, you are rich. As a female, that does present a problem, since women do not work outside of the house, or doing "women's" work. Before somebody jumps down my throat, how many Bus, jeepney, tricycle drivers are there? Yes there are a few motorcycle drivers.... but "woman's" job is to be home or in the palenke selling food or whatever.
About the education, encourage him to take SOME courses in anything to begin with and if he has no problems, success breeds success. (I have a bigger problem trying to teach my wife a new language)... In any case, he may enjoy some courses so much that he will continue his education. Now I must say that most Philippine educational institutions are not worth much and are not accepted by US institutions.
Now as to the age difference... A foreigner of any sort is usually looked up to, regardless of age, or wealth. My wife will be 46 and I 70 this year. we are accepted, and liked by both the relatives and community. What more do you need?
2007-03-11 20:44:33 · answer #5 · answered by luosechi 駱士基 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes it's true. Their perceived status of him will be heightened significantly if they find out that he is presently with a "puti" or white girl. Whether you are cool with that or that you are appalled by such a backward mentality, it doesn't matter really. Filipinos are quite an idiosynchratic lot and are sometimes quite slow to outgrow the discriminatory traits taught to them by their former colonizers the Spanish. It's none of their business. As long as HE himself doesn't believe in it, then it should be okay. If not, he will just consider you as a trophy gf or wife and show you around like a brand new sports car to his brethren--and not as a human being he cares for. You don't want that, because do you know what owners usually do to a new car after 5 years?
2007-03-11 15:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Well 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a Filipino man. I knew a Filipino guy & his girlfriend is white too. There may be some people (Filipino or American) who may, in some way, disapprove of this relationship, like your respective families. But the majority of Filipinos will have no problem with it because it is none of their business. Many Filipinos will be fascinated with your relationship. I think the age difference shouldn't matter much unless it matters to you but it may affect your social activities since he is older. You may not have the same hobbies, for example. You having higher education than him might affect your relationship. He might feel less worthy so you may have to compensate for this. You may need to make him feel he is worthy.
Best of luck to both of you.
2007-03-15 02:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To luosechi,
"Women's work"? You mean like President? Hellloooo!? Corazon Aquino? Gloria Arroyo? Those names ring a bell?
Pffft, cook, clean, wash dishes, Is that how you treat your wife?
As for the question, don't worry too much about what others think of your relationship. Some people, like the ones from the far rural areas, just have a different upbringing and have not been exposed to inter-racial coupling. Manila, on the other hand, is a melting pot so people there would pay you no mind. I myself have been in a relationship with a caucasian girl and my family treated her like a blood relative.
2007-03-11 21:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by geronimo420 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not a filipino and I think your question is interesting.
I am a Black male with Big (not fat) Muscular body.
Me and the my wife is 6 years apart. We get plenty of stares because she is very small and looks10 years younger. (32yearsold)
Please try not to worry about the thoughts other people.
You have your life to live and people will think whatever they want. If you give them power over your desire and choices in life, you wil not be happy.
How bad can it be?
Its not incest
Its not a gay relationship.
You both are from the same species (human)
When people see a look of confidence and a contented posture and happiness in you, they will have to show respect toward you and your partner.
Keep in mind that people will naturally stare and gawk because of the curiosity and unique surprise.
You should see the stares we get when our 2 beautiful baby girls are with us in public. I feel tickled when I see the expressions of peoples faces.
2007-03-11 20:15:36 · answer #9 · answered by Big P 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I admire your boyfriend for winning your heart! When you are in love age and education doesnt matter. Love endures for whatever hardships that will come along your way! It teaches you to be more understanding and supportive that your partner will undergo. At the end, you will just realize that you have already conquered the whole world.
2007-03-11 16:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by kibbs 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋