How do you deal with people?

Question

o.k, I'm a 17 year old male. But I gotta admit something shameful. I have no knowledge nor experience in my life in dealing with people in a relationship. Ever since I was small my father taught me to be always nice to people and accept them when they need me. But growing up I found life a lot different. It's that every time someone asks me for something I always say "yes" regardless of how hard the situation might be on me. Then when I ask them for something they always think twice and sometimes reject more then they accept. I'm so nice to people, I always laugh when someone makes a joke and it isn't even funny. I'm always lenient when it comes to my right, but when it comes to other people rights for my sake, they never sacrifice it for me. This is especially with my friends. My question is; how do you deal with people in a way you are not too nice and not too mean?. At the same time people would accept you and like you for who you are?

Answer 1

For many people, this behavior is called "codependence". Although the causes of codependence may not be relevant in your situation, the treatment for it may be of interest to you. Here is a brief description:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-dependency

Answer 2

Be nice to people when they're nice to you, but be mean when they're mean to you. Many times, you'll find that people wil get angry when you're mean back to them. You need to understand that it is because they're mostly embarassed (which they deserve), and not your fault. You need to be nicer only to people you know well and know they care about you. you will never know anyones true intentions. For example, you could have "friends" that might seem like they care, but actually just like you because you're popular, rich, you're just someone to be with when its a last resort, etc. the only people that know a person's true intentions is themself, which sometimes even they don't know they're own intentions. So, instead of always being nice, think about the truth, they can, and will, take advantage of you.

Answer 3

My mother did the same thing to me, the problem is, that even though it is supposed to be good to be nice, it does not really work that way in American culture. Like Groucho Marx said, "I don't want to be the member of any club that would want me as a member" People want to be around people they look up to. Sadly it is the people who appear very confident, i.e. selfish, that people really gravitate towards. It's spelled out plainly in every high school movie you have ever seen, and unfortunately most people never grow up.

Answer 4

I don't think you should feel it is shameful because you have "no knowledge nor experience....people in a relationship." My best advice to you is to try to be true to yourself. Don't say yes when you want to say no. Don't laugh at a joke just to be polite. You are still very young so don't beat yourself up because you feel as you do. Also, if people don't accept you or like you for being yourself, so what? Don't allow yourself to cow tow to the wishes of others in order to be liked or accepted. To thine ownself be true, for thou canst be false to any man.

Answer 5

we all tell our children; be nice, play fair, share your toys. but you're right -life is not like that. so you're 17 and getting out there and seeing that people are mean. that's it- we suck! so do yourself a favor and learn to say no. Give,give,Give to your closest friends and family, but as for the rest of us ............say no! ask yourself where will these people be in my life ten years from now........if they aren't there then there is no reason for you to bow to them today!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Be yourself. Respect you first then others will respect you. If you do not they will always take advantage of you and you will be miserable.

Answer 7

keep it real man dont be a doormat