About a year and a half ago my husband had an "emotional" affair with a girl he met in Ait(he is in the military),it lasted probabyl about 6 months the whole time she believed him and I were only married for out sons sake, I was pregnant at the time.
That ended because well they both left AIT and got stationed else where, so I believed himw hen he said it was a dumb mistake.Well when we got moved again,I stayed home for awhile and he went off to get us settled in, he had sex with a girl and got an std from her.Gave it to me.and the only way I found out is.by having a dr.call me and let me know I had a std and to go get the prescription thankfully it was a curable.
the girl he had sex with would always hang around us and he always acted funny with her around us but he never said anything to me about it.I wonder YET AGAIN if..I hadn't have found out another way..if I would have everknown....When I told him I knew he freaked out and was heartbroken he broke down and now. idk what to
2007-03-11 15:31:21 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Both of you took vows to be faithful and true to each other. You should find out what your relationship is lacking and why he is looking outside of the marriage for emotional bonds. If you can't find fault within the relationship then he must have a void that he must address himself before he can be the husband he vowed to be. If he's not willing to work on the relationship, I would suggest you move on.
2007-03-11 15:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sharisse F 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I always say forgive once aswe can all make a mistake. He was however devious in the first affair saying you were only together for your son. You should never forgive a second affair and should get rid of him. I think he was only heartbroken because you found out. He has broken your trust and how can you honestly trust him again? Telling him to leave the forces may help but you may also be married to a serial adulterer. How many more may he have had that you do not know about. PS I am a bloke not a woman.
2007-03-11 22:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by Closed Down 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford to support yourself and your child if you get a divorce from him? He sounds like he has some emotional problems. Suggest that he seek a mental health evaluation and counseling from the military psych dept. Sometimes cheating is more likely when guys are in the military because of the stress of the situation. This is still no excuse but if you think there's a shred of of hope for your relationship then demand that he get some therapy to deal with why this happened.if he refuses or you still feel like he can't be trusted then make plans to move on.Lifes too short to waste time on someone who doesn't know what he wants out of life.Take care of yourself and your child and let him worry about himself.Good luck.
2007-03-11 22:45:10 · answer #3 · answered by Yahooanswerssux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what to do...you're just looking for someone else to say it. So here goes-If he can't keep his willy where it belongs then leave. Do you want your children growing up in an enviroment where their mother is constantly depressed? Come on! His escapades don't just hurt u emotionally, they hurt u physically. I didn't catch my ex til girlfriend #5. All he could do was beg and make empty promises. Yes it is gonna hurt like #ell!!, but u can do alot better for urself and ur kids. I don't care if he tells u that there is something that u don't "do" for him sexually......if that were true, he wouldn't have married u in the first place!! Show him that u r the better person, show him u r a strong, independent WOMAN. Do what u know has to be done before he does it again. As we southerners say..."FOOL me once, shame on u.....fool me TWICE, shame on me!!!" And besides, his next girlfriend may be psycho, she may even hurt u or ur kids(not just give u an STD!)
2007-03-11 22:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by southern_girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will not judge you nor justify your life with him, but right now you know what you wanted to do, it sounds like you still love him even though that he committed adultery twice. Do yourself a big favor, think how your life is going to be if you stayed with him and having your baby too. A man can not and will not change no matter what they say, asking for forgiveness and saying that it was a mistakes. If it was a mistakes the first time why did it last for 6 months while your carrying his baby??
Don't let him fool you, even if you still have feelings for him, it will happens again. It did mine after 22 long years of being there for him and give him 3 children, ( he was in military too), for him to commit adultery kit wasn't me that he hurt but our 3 teenagers. So be smart, strong and do whats best for you and your baby...............good luck!!
2007-03-11 22:55:37 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously has poor judgment and doesn't believe in the vows he made. Stay with him and you should expect more of the same. Next time, he'll cry his heart out saying he's so sorry he's given you aids and you'll have to think again. Get yourself into counseling, and try to forgive him, but also plan financially for you and your children IF the next time should happen you can pack and leave.
2007-03-11 22:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater." I like to think some men can have a moment of weakness and change their ways, but in your situation this is not the case. In your case that old adage is COMPLETELY true. You need to leave him. For your health at the very least!
2007-03-11 22:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Love and respect are necessary and go without saying......trust is imperative. You can't trust this man and he obviously doesn't respect you.
Get on your own and see if you manage and are okay without him. It will also give him an opportunity to decide if he wants to work at this relationship - either way, you will be taking control of your life - I hope that you have family and/or friends who can be supportive and help you get out on your own.
2007-03-11 22:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by jourdepaye 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is against the military law to have an affair. You can turn him in to his Sargent. And the one hes fooling around with. Good luck
2007-03-11 23:12:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, once a cheater always a cheater. Unless you want to live like that the rest of your life, get rid of him. One day you might get something that is not curable. Your call, you know what to do. Do it! Good luck!
2007-03-11 22:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by stumped dummy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋