Funny hillbilly quote?

Question

Here's what I need: "Quick as a (funny animal) on a (something that would make it go fast)."

Thanks for your help! I'm writing this for an extra scene we're making for our production of "Tom Sawyer."

Answer 1

a greased possum on a runaway river raft. Technically,that is very dumb,but we are talking about hillbillies.