I just found out that my husband has been smoking pot behind my back for the past 2 yrs. What should I do?
2007-03-11 14:59:58 · 30 answers · asked by TH087 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it has been two years and there have been no other problems with the relationship, what is the problem, besides a trust issue?
Find out if he has been honest with other things. If he is lying constantly, and cheating on you, then do the simple thing and leave him.
Otherwise, what he is doing is harmless.
2007-03-11 15:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
This would depend on how you feel about the situation. If you feel like this is more about trust than about smoking pot then you should do whats right and let him know that this was a major trust violation. Also, this brings up another matter that if he hid the fact that he smokes pot from you, you might begin to wonder if there are other things he has been hiding from you. The bottom line is that you need to tell him how you feel and why you feel the way that you do. If you make yourself clear you should be able to discuss it in a manner that will be constructive to coming to a solution.
Good Luck
2007-03-11 22:03:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mickey Von Luttrell 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
1.) Slap yourself how did you not know. Munchies, the smell, etc.
2.) Are you upset because he is using weed or because he didn't tell you?
3.) If you dislike weed and think its wrong and are really mad because he is doing it behind your back then step back and ask yourself this do I love this person? If you do then go with it why did you ever consider maybe he needs to get high? I love some people to death but If I talk to them for more than 10 min I am ready to get trashed to.
4.) If you come to the answer that you are mad that he did it behind your back but you hate weed and can't live with the fact that he does it then ask him to stop. I wouldn't recommend the "stop smoking weed or I will leave you plan" that usually just leads to more pain.
5.) If it is bad enough to where you want to get a divorce see a counselor first.
2007-03-11 22:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by Bleed the Freak 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You should be more concerned about the fact that he felt he needed to hide it from you than the pot. He shouldn't feel bad about it- he probably uses it medically for anxiety or something like that-it is one of natures best medicines.
www.asa.org
www.norml.org
Don't give him guilt about it- let him know he can be open with you. If it's not something you found out about it obviously isn't a problem itself.
2007-03-15 02:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing if it is not affecting your relationship. If he has been doing it behind your back for two years it is obviously not an issue. It sounds to me like he is a functioning drug addict.
Maybe just talk to him and try to understand where he is coming from, maybe this will let him be more open with you. I don't really think pot is a big issue, so go easy on him. At least he is not a junkie, crackhead, or raging alcoholic.
2007-03-11 22:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by Magzilla 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
1. does he have a job?
2. do you have a problem with it?
3. is it a problem?
4. does he do it at home or sneak it?
5. does he want to quit?
6. does he do it everyday?
7. do you have children that this behavior could endanger?
8. are you or your children with him when he smokes or buys?
9. they have al-anon for you for people who love someone who has an addiction problem. if he smokes, i'm sure he drinks? then go to alanon meetings. see sources, check the msn board, call the info number and talk to someone.
10. is it occasional or everyday?
11. is it creating money problems
12. you are not alone, there is help out there, support for you emotionally.
13. Dr. Phil has rehab shows about this.
www.drphil.com
2007-03-11 22:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Confront him and tell him you will not condone his behavior. It is illegal and if he is caught with it in the car and you are with him it could cause you a legal problem too. It also isn't something that you would want in your home. If he isn't willing to seek professional help then I would tell him it's either he wants you or the pot. Also let him know that if he isn't willing to take a urine test in front of you to confirm that he has quit every so often(randomly at your choice of when) then he might as well pack his bags now. If he tries arguing that it is a lack of trust on your part to demand such a thing remind him that he hasn't given you a reason to trust him after hiding it for two years. Trust is something you earn. (Pot test kits are available at drug stores for anyone to buy).
2007-03-11 22:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
be happy . pot is safe good and non additive. good for him .
ask to use some pot too. don't hassle him join in . use pot as a means to eliminate alcohol in your home or reduce its use as that is a dangerous drug.
2007-03-11 22:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that he's been smoking pot for two years and you had no clue....I find that rather odd in itself.
2007-03-11 22:07:17 · answer #9 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesn't get rid of the pot and stop smoking it you're going to leave him! Then if he doesn't it's simple.
2007-03-11 22:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by beamer 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋