4 years ago, I've discovered some evidence that my brother might be gay,but i didn't comfort him,we don't live together and i only see him one or two times in a year but every time we came together i want to tell him that i know but instead i say things like i love you no matter what and wait for him to open up but he doesn't.i think the reason is he thinks i might use it against him or make fun of him ,i just want him to know that i know and i will there for him no matter what.He is always gonna be my baby brother and i will always love him no matter what ,Please tell me, how to tell him that i know he is gay?
2007-03-11 14:42:18 · 26 answers · asked by sunny 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Sometimes, confronting someone before they are ready to "come out" can come off as a surprise to them. They can handle it the wrong way. Keep giving subtle hints, and coax him out... when he is ready he will let you know.
2007-03-11 14:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi thre sugar, it sounds like you are in need of some personal advice on this situation... I might not be much but I do practice Angel Magick and can try to contact the angels for you to see if they can offer any advice. I feel that you have a guardian angel who wants to tell you something and was reading this over my shoulder. I'd be more then happy to read the Angel Cards for you (and don't worry- I won't run off with your money- I'd be doing this as a service to yourself and the Angels without the need of money).
In the mean time, my advice would be not to confront him as this would probably turn out badly. Simply ask him whether he's thought about being with someone of the same sex. It's natural for most people to have been bisexual, or bicurious at one point in their lives anyway, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you are wrong about him, or maybe you are right- but would it really matter to you? If it doesn't matter to you, then why bother to tell him you know? It doesn't affect your relationship or how either of you think of each other.
I hope this helps angel xx if you want to talk to me any more you can email me on missytetra@yahoo.co.uk . In love and light x x
2007-03-11 21:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by missytetra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't officially KNOW unless you've caught him doing it with a guy. And even then, you'd only know he's bi.
Still, talk to him privately about it. Just ask him if you can tell him something in all seriousness, and that you're not looking for an answer of any kind. Tell him you have thought this might be true, and whether it is or isn't that it doesn't change the way you feel about him, and that you're there for him, about that or anything else.
You know, a couple of folks out there would probably give their eyeteeth for a relative who was accepting.
2007-03-11 21:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write him a letter. Explain to him what you just told us. That you want him to know that you still love him and always will, no matter what.
Tell him that you are bringing it up because you thought it might be a weight lifted off of his shoulders once he knew that YOU knew and nothing bad happened.
I think it's a wonderful and sweet thing to do by telling him.
I'm sure he will be SO relieved. No more hiding for him or worrying about being found out.
He'll feel a lot better knowing.
2007-03-11 21:48:52 · answer #4 · answered by Molly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from personal experience I know this is hard cause the shoe was on the other foot in my end because I am Bi and it was hard for my family to ask me,, some of them are still there for me and will always be there the ones who aren't they don't believe in what i am..what you can do is tell him hey I'd like to talk to you and tell him how you feel sometimes it's just easier to spit it out then beat around the bushes but if you mean it doesn't matter to you show him that cause when people are different from the world it feels like the world is on their shoulders and its hard for them to adjust in the real world..I have friends who are almost in their 40's and their families still don't know cause they will be disowned..so when you do it show him you care don't just tell him it..Make sure he know you will never throw it up in his face and continue to be comfortable around him maybe you could even read up on it and get some friends that are gay so you know the way they live is no differently then the way normal relationshiped people live
2007-03-11 21:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Shawty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Wait until he tells you. Then you can surprise him with the news that you have known all along and it hasn't mattered. He will appreciate your thoughtfullness and sensitivity on the matter. After all, he may not be, the evidence you found may be explained, one way or another. Either way, it is up to your brother to come out if in fact he is, not you to drag him out.
2007-03-11 21:46:49 · answer #6 · answered by smile_girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him, let him know that you have known for a long time. That will reassure him that you have his best interests at heart. It must be very hard to come out to family and friends and I think you have a wonderful attitude about him. He's very lucky to have a sister or brother like you. I guess Sunny can be either, right?
2007-03-11 21:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something similar to this happened to me. Don't go right up to your brother and be like "I KNOW YOU'RE GAY!!!" Just call him and talk to him a little more and start forming the close relationship and when he feels the time is right then he'll tell ya. Good luck
2007-03-11 21:47:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation with my older sister. I pretty much pressured her into it, and we see each other less frequently. We just aren't close. If you are genuinely interested in offering support, mean it when you say it. They go thru so much. Just take a quiet moment to bring it up. Best of luck.
2007-03-11 21:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by Rayne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely Not! He needs to do that for his own sake. What you can do is make him feel comfortable with a lot of assurance that you love and accept him without judgement so he feels safe with you. He will tell you when He is ready.
2007-03-11 21:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem.My brother is also gay.I wanted him to be able to tell me,I tried everything other than straight out asking him.Eventually we stopped talking and I haven't seen him in nine years.My advise is just do it.He is too scared to tell you himself,So just gently tell him you are aware of the situation and that you still love him and respect him regardless.I hope this helps.
2007-03-11 21:48:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋