Why do I worry about what people think so much, that I stumble and fumble over my words while talking...?

Question

and then say something stupid, that may have come off the wrong way... and then my friend tells me it was nothing, but I go home and worry for two hours about how what I said came off the wrong way, and then my friend gets annoyed at me b/c thats all I will talk about, but I cant get it off my mind.

Answer 1

It is called severe low self esteem...you don't think you have any value...and you are afraid someone is going to see how worthless you are(according to you)...that is why you think you have to be perfect so they don't see...so it is difficult for you to even speak freely but you are analyzing your words as you say them...and then of course they can't come out right....
What you need to do is cut yourself some slack...God don't make no junk...and I can tell you that all day long...but until you believe it...this is the results you are going to get...and when you apologize yourself over and over...it just shows your insecurity even more to your friends...people that are secure about themselves don't have to apologize continuously...so it is annoying to your friends when you do.

Answer 2

You must be young. You haven't any self confidence right now but it should come one day. You worry too much about nothing in particular. When you start thinking and worrying maybe you should find something else to do that will keep your mind busy. Please don't worry so much, whatever the conversation the other people probably don't even think about it when you're gone. Just relax and listen if you can't come up with anything ti say that you can accept of yourself.Everyone likes a listener, you don't have to always talk.

Answer 3

It is possible you have anxiety. That happened to me a few years ago. Hours later I would still be thinking about something that happened or something I said earlier in the day. It was like a tape stuck on replay in my mind. Relax and try to focus on something else. It helped when I listened to music or read. Do something that you like that will take your mind off of what happened. I was really stressed out and I eventually learned to control it. It still happens sometimes but I usually try to turn my attention to something else. If it happens while you are about to go to sleep then think about a happy place like a beach or replay a good memory.
Try not to worry about what other people think so much because it will cause you to be more self conscious and fumble while speaking. Just be yourself and do not second guess yourself.

Answer 4

Bonnie, you really need to take a deep breath and re-group yourself. Sounds like you have placed everyone around you on some sort of pedestal, and you are somewhere below looking up at them/her/him. What you have to say is just as important as them adding their two cents. Sounds like you are trying too hard to make an impression and fit in. Just be yourself and the words from your mouth will flow more freely and not get tangled around your toes.
I know too well where you are coming from, and understand totally about things coming off the wrong way. I was once in your shoes. But you know what? I found out that a true friend will laugh with you, not at you, when you make a blunder. So just you hang in there and try not to let it eat you up when things happen to come out the wrong way. Like I said...a true friend will take it in stride....and the others don't matter anyway.

Answer 5

Confidence.

But never let people get in your head. That's easy to say but that is what you should try to keep in mind when you feel a bit insecure.

Don't worry about what your friends say. In 10 years you'll most likey not see or talk to many of them, especially if you are a success.

If you're a loser and they are losers, then you might want to worry.

Be yourself!

I used to worry too. Wanted to be "accepted" but the fact is high school and college are a short 8 years (for most) but a lifetime (after school) gives you greater insight about what you should and shouldn't have worried about when you are 30 and on your own. And successful.

BTW, nobody cares about you as much as your family! Worry about them over everything else.

Answer 6

If I want to make a good impression, I may just prep before I go see them. If you're alone in a bathroom, try making small talk in order to figure out what to say. If you're that anxious...then try getting to know the person better so that you're comfortable enough with them so they understand your anxiety. If you think you said anything offensive, tell them right off that you didn't mean anything offensive by what you said and that you have a tendency to fumble over your words.

People appreciate honesty, I know I do at least...

Answer 7

You're just a self conscious person. When you're worrying about a stumble or something. Just think about what you would think if someone else did it. You'd probably realize it's no big deal to you, so nobody else though nothing of it.

Answer 8

You may be thinking about other things or thinking about what you say before you say it at the same time as you are trying to do a proper job of communicating with other people.
Maybe you think allot, are anxious, are a perfectionist held back by "mental health" issues.

Answer 9

Get over it. Everybody does that. They slipped the wrong word out of their mouth. It no big deal.
I am deaf and people can be RUDE at the way I talk.
So what is your problem? You worry too much and it making you miserable. Be happy and enjoy life.

Answer 10

Being articulate and knowing when to keep your mouth shut is of the utmost importance if you expect to get anywhere in life. Stupid people don't succeed, especially when they make it apparent that they are stupid. You should start by carefully deciding what to say before you say it.