After we made love, he was in a hurry to go back to his home in PA . I live in MD two hours away. Anyhow, I said to him is it okay that I take a picture of you with my digital camera? I would like to have a photo of you so I could keep in a frame on my shelf. When you are not here I like to have a photo so I could pretend that you are here when you are not." Then he paused for awhile and said NO! I said why not? I don't want my picture taken . The memories are just as good.! I was so angry. Then as he was leaving he didn't tie his shoes. I said to him you need to tie your shoes. You are going to hurt yourself on the stairwell. He said I am not worrying about it.
Lately, I feel that I should cut it loose. He sometimes gets too distracted with his career his 10 brothers and sisters. I think he doesn't realize that he can be rude because he is too distracted. He cares about his job which he should and sports 24/7. He has been divorced going on two years.
2007-03-11 14:26:48 · 28 answers · asked by Contessa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I sent him valentine day card two years in a row. Never acknowledge it. He is very into his body and works out contantly. He never has time to stop and smell the roses.
I am surprised we been having this relationship for over a year now. He calls me and visits all the time; however I am now wondering how sincere he is. Does he really like me ? or Does he really want to just have a good time. I think I should not answer his calls anymore since I been feeling this way. I may do that to send him a message. What should I do?
2007-03-11 14:30:01 · update #1
sex in a relationship is Ok as long as it has a purpose. However, this guy sounds like he's unsure of himself, and sort of instable etc. yes he has job, but what about his priorities, are they in-line. I know mine aren't. But anyway's, I've seen one hell of alot of drama queens, and such to gain enough experience to tell you to protect yourself from a possible future split. this to me is a sure sign of either him not liking the sex, and leaving in a hury being disapointed etc. or being imature about the whole thing feeling insicure about the relationship etc. I still would watch your back, just to be on the safe side, it sounds like this guy has tight family ties, and thinks of them all before you, This is my advise.
2007-03-11 14:35:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you are just there for him on the side. If you have known him for 2 years now, why hasn't he proposed to you? Plus, a long distance relationship doesn't always work for some people. But here you have this guy who only visits you when he wants to for sex, but doesn't seem like he wants to be committed to you because of his actions that he is showing.
You may want to ask yourself this question. Do you want to be married to a guy like this who seems to care about himself and his career rather than to make any kind of commitment?
Ah, just saw the last part that he was divorced. Are you sure he isn't still married to this women that he had to rush out of your place just to be home?
Ok, if I were you, I would just leave him alone and move on with your life. Plus, never get involved with someone who was married before or has kids.
You should consider reading this book called, "Ten Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives."
2007-03-11 21:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Contessa--do me a favor--read your letter two or three times--pretend you did not write it--someone else did--what would you say??? can't figure out why he bothers to do the drive--other than the obvious--sounds like he is not only a busy preoccupied man--he sounds like he doesn't know how to tell you it is almost over--I think he is hoping you will say bye bye.....divorced?? long distance??? sex and gone??? You better rethink all of this----he can stop coming down and you can start finding a nice man close to you--and have a nice relationship...something warm and meaningful---just say bye bye and do not communicate with him--no talk--no whining and crying--no e mail, no letters.....just tell him to forget it....it is your life and YOUR decision----stand tall, smile, have fun---if you don't do the right thing, do you really really think it will ever get better??? Not a chance--stop the sex before a baby comes and you are a single parent. Have some dignity and tell him to get lost. good luck
2007-03-11 21:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it definitely sounds like you are not a priority in his life. Are you sure hes not still married? Why was he in such a rush to get home? Something isnt ringing true here.
I think its time you both sorted this out. You are left wondering, and he is off doing what he wants to do. Unless he could give me a good reason why he is neglecting me for his family/sports, etc....I would give him the big heave ho.
You deserve to be loved...you shouldnt have to come second to anyone or anything...if he loves you, you should be a priority in his life.
I think you should be taking notice of your own feelings....you are not feeling too good about yourself are you?....how could you when the man you love doesnt love you at the same level....your needs are not being met. You have 3 choices. Sit down and tell him how he is making you feel and you expect him to make some changes in his life to include you. Allow yourself to be a doormat and continue letting him treat you like this. Or, leave him and find a man who will want you as a priority in his life. You need to love yourself a bit more and expect more from your man. I wouldnt be doing this to myself anymore....I would find a man who could love me like he should, who would make me feel important in his life.....Your call though.......I hope it turns out the way you want it to.
2007-03-11 21:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he's divorced? I don't understand what the big deal is about the picture. He should have just taken it and called it a day. I hate to tell you this, but it sounds to me like he's involved with someone else. If you feel that you should end the relationship please do so. With the way he treated you and probably has been treating you, I wouldn't say anything. I wouldn't answer his calls nor would I call him. I'd leave him alone and not speak to him ever again. Do whatever it is you feel you NEED to do. Good Luck!
2007-03-11 21:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by cb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not exactly the love Dr. but some thing isn't right. WOW ...10 in laws, plus their family, you better be really organized. If you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach, start investigating him. Usually, if ya feel it... there's a real reason. Sounds like you already have a clue & won't be falling apart by loosing him. Good Luck.
2007-03-11 21:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Marie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but long distance relationships rarely work out. And by the way you described him it sounds like he's got more than just you on the brain..if you know what I mean. I am sorry and i hope everything works out ok for you.
2007-03-11 21:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by kainsmommy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
End the relationship, you guys are far from each other. And what guy runs away after sex? You deserve a guy better than that! He isnt respectful enough, he probably isn't taking this relationship seriously. Sorry but end, less pain than after.
2007-03-11 21:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would break up with him now.
His behavior is suspicious from his not wanting to get his picture taken and he was in a hurry to get home. Think: what does he have to hide and what is he rushing home to? It sounds like he is cheating on you.
Get rid of the bum. I can see why he is divorced.
2007-03-11 21:33:57 · answer #9 · answered by Tara662 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on with your life , he may have another bootie on the side and i get the impression that he does, why doesn't he spend the night with you or visit you on weekends its like its wham bam thank you mam to him let the loser go really you will be better off without him.
2007-03-11 21:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by Mary O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋