Everything around me reminds me of him?

Question

My husband left a week ago. He still hasnt come to get his stuff but by the way he is acting it seems as if he wont try to make this work.
He doesnt even seem to care about his son at the moment.
The problem is how do I start getting over him?
We bought a house together nd he was also raising my two daughters with me.They Love him dearly. They ask about him all the time.Everything around me reminds me of him. He and the kids were my whole life. Im a stay at home mom and now I have to start from scratch(which I know i can do) I just need advice to mend a very broken heart.

Answer 1

just went through the very same thing. All i can tell you is find a good support group. Try to stay busy, find hobbies, interest. And for GOD sake, don't try to find someone right now. That's the worst thing you can do. Enjoy your children, find yourself. It takes time....Been there done that...
but, whats helped me most is the support group i have had.

Answer 2

Kimberly,

Start by boxing and bagging up everything that belongs to him and store them in another room. This will get the physical portion of the painful memories out of eyesight. Put away wedding pictures and pictures taken together in a box for now. If discussing the breakup isn't an option, then you need to at least contact him to determine whether he is filing for divorce or should you do it. Nowadays, it is a long process once it is started so someone needs to get the paperwork filed. It will affect both of your living arrangements and financial futures so it shouldn't be put on a back burner. It will also show that you are not going to play games here. As far as getting over him, remember that you have children to get through this too, so you want to create and keep a stable homelife as much as possible for them during all of this so keep your social life as low key as possible. Spend time with friends and family for moral support right now. Talking to other people is okay, but don't make the mistake that many men and women make that jump right from a broken marriage into an immediate relationship. You will feel very vulnerable for awhile and many men will pick up on that. it is an easy way to be used and cast aside. You will need to be wary of many men out there as you will soon find out - there are more bad ones than good ones. As I have been chased by many women since becoming a widower. I have been told that when a good man or woman "hits the market" they are like a limited sale item at Target. Use a lot of scrutiny in dating when you start again. You can use the internet dating websites or better yet fixups by friends and family(since they normally have insider input on who they know) to gain some companionship. Just keep it slow as far as relationships until the longterm shock of all of this wears off. As a final note, for your own safety, make a copy of all mortgage paperwork, tax records, birth certificates, car loan documents, and any other important documents you may have from your marriage and place them in a safe place(with family or a private lockbox at the bank). Also get a copy of your bank records and open a separate bank account in your name only right away. Good Luck.

Answer 3

He may be trying to work out exactly what he wants. If his belongings are there then there is still hope he may come back. Don't give up on him. He may have had some kind of breakdown due to stress. Try and contact him and find out what is wrong from his point of view and see what you can work out together. It may not be all over so I would not start thinking about how to get over him yet. Life is so stressfull nowadays and he may just need a break to clear his mind. I hope something can be worked out for the sake of your children and not least of all you. Take care, dont judge him just yet and good luck. Do you know why he left??

Answer 4

Sweetie I know how it is. I've been in your shoes. The best thing you can do is box his stuff up and either put it in a garage or a closet or give it to a family member to give to him. Maybe one of his friends might come pick it up. I would say start getting over him by doing things for yourself. Do things that you really like to do. One thing is depending on how strong you are you might want to keep busy for a while. Like if you like to dance go take dance lessons. Be around other people who like to do things. Don't watch any romance movies. That's a biggy if your into movies.
Mostly it's time. Time heals all wounds. The main things is time will help you get over him. I'm sorry this has happened to you and your children. I pray that you have peace.

Answer 5

This scenario is all too frequent these days. Start checking out your job skills and do find that dusty resume. You are going to have a new life. What do you think if it were to be a happier life than you had?
I am not in your situation, but I have had many many HUGE changes take place in my life this year. It is not easy! I do look towards the future with a smile on my face.

Answer 6

Do something for YOU. Pack up all his things, and place them out of sight in the garage or something. It will help bring you a little piece of closure. As far as your daughters, let them know that their daddy loves them very much, but mommy and daddy are having a hard time right now, so he isn't around as much any more. Sit them down and answer any questions that they may have. They may be confused and hurt, but talking about it and not hiding anything from them will help the healing process. Redecorate one of your rooms how YOU want things to help you forget about him.

Answer 7

Congrats! Believing that you can start from scratch and that you can do it is a good start. In the beginning, it won't be easy but being busy will help you re-focus your life away from him. Your kids are you priorities now, put that in your mind and that you have wonderful friends to help and a God who's so gracious to bless you, and everything will fall in to their right places.

Healing takes time...be patient.

Answer 8

For him to just walk away means you're probably better off without him. Sleep in the middle of the bed... no more sides, it's all yours! Cry for yourself and your children, not for him. And if you can afford too, have a girl's day. Go with one of your close friends and get a makeover. Hair, nails, feet, etc.

Answer 9

you gonna need lots of help if you got kids...start now and try to see if any of your family members can help you out...money/job...etc...taking care of the kids...
don't let everything fall on you one time...Get organized...you shouldn't even have time right now to think about him...
Get organized,financially and mentally...
reorganize your house so it seems like you moved ...
or if you can afford it move into a smaller house...
don't forget your kids will need you more now...and do'nt take out your anger on them!!! be there for them...My heart is with you... I hope you feel better right away.

Answer 10

Get angry, instead of hurt, hon.

He left for another woman.... That should get you really smoked. Now, go out and get a mini make over, get your hair done, loose some weight if you need to, get a job----- for sure, get a job, and you'll be just fine.