2007-03-11 14:17:34 · 16 answers · asked by confussed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Helpless, hopeless, and confused! They think they can't do any better! Sad, huh?
2007-03-11 14:20:25 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most common issue is low self esteem and a distorted idea of what a relationship is supoosed to be. they are often exposed to these actions as kids--someone or somehow the family they grew up in had abuse in its wake. So they figure it is OK and normal. But then the old self esteem issue comes up--they feel he is better than nothing, and they cannot do any better. Too bad but nothing you can say or do will help--just have to ignore it or stop looking at it all together. The men that abuse have had a life that is similair--and they search far and wide for these submissive women--a real woman would not tolerate it. These guys are often weak minded and have to prove their self worth--trouble is they really have nothing to prove to anyone--no one even cares. So all the show of power is wasted. Sad to see it, but it goes on....that's life
2007-03-11 14:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is either getting something from the relationship when he is not hitting her, holding out for him to change, or scared about her options after leaving him. Here's the thing: If you are in an abusive relationship, you are a victim and have the right to feel angry. Once you are not in the abusive relationship, you are responsible for your life and have noone to blame it on. Also, people will judge you by the fact that you were in an abusive relationship previously. Plus, a lot of people are wired to be attracted to bad men.
2007-03-11 14:26:52 · answer #3 · answered by skip_pingstone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, i think that women who do this like it in some way. i know women who have been in bad situations, like one in particular im thinking about. she was married for 5 years and beat and cheated on every day. finally she left him and was single for three years. would you believe he is courting her again and she is going back to him? i asked her why would you go back to someone for more of the same. she tells me she isnt. but on her myspace page he is leaving her poems and stuff like that and all her songs are about love.
so basically this is a part of human sexuality. if you look at wildcats, sometimes the male wildcat will kidnap the female and put her in a tunnel in a cave and then start beating her up until she just stays there because she is rendered submissive. this display of aggression somehow puts the female wildcat in heat. then he will have sex with her. so i have a feeling abuse is almost disgustingly animalistic really. just be glad you dont have that problem. take care.
2007-03-11 14:26:09 · answer #4 · answered by wcarolinew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called abuse...love might be their but normaly by now she is worn down, scared, alone and helpless also it's very dangerous for her...instead of not understanding her...try talking to her about community services that would help her leave, hide, relocate or whatever it takes to be safe. Also most abused women don't have the selfesteme, confidence, selfworth to go "hey I deserve better than this". The abuser has belted that out of her mentaly and physicaly so she may even believe it's her fault. TRY TO HELP HER.
2007-03-11 14:40:42 · answer #5 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has a severe lack of self esteem. It could be from a father that was not involved in her life, past boyfriends and/or husband that gave her no respect, and even self doubt in that she doesn't she herself as beautiful, smart, or adequate in some other ways to get a decent man. At any rate, she has no confidence in herself and she needs to get some counseling and emotional support(from family and friends) to show her that she has just as much value as a person and good qualities to offer as anyone else.
2007-03-11 14:29:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd guess because they are low in IQ, like being the door mat, have no self esteem, and figure that this is about all they can get. Then they do stupid things like try to trap the guy by getting PG, only to find he will stay for max of 5 years, then they trap another, and in about 10 years they have 5 kids by three different guys, and put up questions on a site like this and ask "Wat do i do, i gots no educashion, no money, no frends, no plase to go, and 5 kids. can some one help me?"..... Stupid, and no self esteem....
2007-03-11 15:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women only stay because they can not get out and they can not always make it on their own. Some women have never worked and stay home to raise their children. It's sometimes hard to understand why a women would stay in a relationship where she is abused but you would have to live with someone like that to really understand what it's really like.
2007-03-11 14:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might be too young to remember the song with the lyrics..."All we need is love, sweet love..." ?? Well, insecurities are huge among people yesterday as well as today.
People who feel bad about themselves will settle for anyone and anything that they think will provide what is lacking in their life, and unfortunately, people settle for often, what ultimately is terribly bad for them. The worst part is that when physical abuse enters the picture, their very lives are at risk.
Keep talking to your friend, and advise him/her to seek counseling either in a church a professional or community service organization. They will never have a rich, rewarding, fulfilling life as they know it now. I pray for change....and it might, just might begin with you--a caring and concerned friend. Good luck.
2007-03-11 14:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They stay with them because they don't think that they deserve and better. The girl doesn't think enough of herself to get out. Also fear. Because if a guy is hitting her then he is most definitely telling her that he will either kill her or do bad things to her or her family if she leaves him,.
2007-03-11 14:28:10 · answer #10 · answered by Heather A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she loves him, has no self worth because of all the years of abuse she has had to endure from him, doesn't think she deserves or could get better, may be financially dependent on him, may have no supportive friends, as he has probably gotten rid of all of them, she may be alienated from family, he keeps her isolated from them too. she has allowed it in her life, and now sees it as just a way of life. she may have been treated this way as a child, and thinks its normal. it has grown to be a habit for her to endure it, and after awhile it may not even bother her anymore. she fears him, and fears leaving him, she sees no future so she keeps the one she has.
2007-03-12 04:52:57 · answer #11 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋