It is now a gut feeling?????

Question

My wife was very close to her lady friend last year when she had openly discussion about an affair she had during our 2 year marriage. 3 months ago her friend approuched me and told me what my wife told her, I confronted my wife but she said it was all just an immagination story. I felt uneasy about it all but I had no proof and my wife seemed at genuine and so I believed her. Our marriage is ok but we are not close and ther is never any intimacy with her. I lately find myself dreaming she is with other men and everything seems so realistic with my dreams including things that were said in the past that have meanings . I now having a gut feeling something is not right.

Answer 1

Your wife, I dont think, would make up a story like that and then tell a close friend.....usually close friends tell each other the truth. I must say, I dont think much of her friend...thats a dirty rotten act to come and tell you what your wife told her in confidence....but anyway, I guess she thought she was doing the right thing, me personally, I think she was wrong....but whats done is done.

If yout wife is continually denying the affair, then there is not a lot you can do about it. It is bothering you terribly, so maybe you might have to go and talk to this woman who told you about the affair and ask for details. Maybe you need to find out who the affair was with and ask him...or ask someone else who you think may know.

You need to find out the truth, one way or the other, and if you find out she has had an affair...what do you want to do about it? Do you want to use it as a tool to hurt your wife?....Do you want the truth as an excuse to leave your marriage?....or do you want the truth to try and save the marriage? The intimacy is gone, you have trust issues now, you wife is not telling you the truth it seems.....so really, you would be miserable.....its like being in a state of suspended animation.....you just dont know what to think.

Maybe, just sit you wife down and tell her how you are feeling....tell her about the dreams you are having...tell her about your doubts.....tell her you are going mad and she has to do something to help you out here....either give you proof she didnt have an affair or confess that she did.

Whatever way it turns out be ready for the truth...work out beforehand what you want to do if she tells you she has had an affair....but may I suggest there are problems in your marriage anyway and counselling wouldnt be a bad way to no matter what.

I hope it turns out the way you want it to....take care.

Answer 2

Sounds like you and your wife need to get into marriage counseling. There isn't anything you can do about the past, but if you want to make your marriage good for the future you and your wife need to trust eachother and be in love with eachother. Counseling can help work through the issues and regain the trust and love you once had.

Answer 3

Is she still close with that friend that gave you the information? Try to get them together and see how your wife responds with her. Your wife ought to be noticeably angry with her. You need to find out and deal with the truth in the open. This situation gone undealt with can tear you apart on the inside. You do owe it to yourself and the sleep your going to be missing over the YEARS of torment this could inflict on you. Good Luck it is not easy to hear the truth. Even the immaginary story is grounds to be upset. Good Luck.

Answer 4

"Our marriage is ok but we are not close and ther is never any intimacy with her."

Apparently you are confused about what marriage is. You are just roommates at this point. I think it is pretty clear that you do not love your wife since you have let things get this far. You should consider alternatives, such as divorce.

Answer 5

How often does someone tell their friends their "imaginary" stories? Come on now, reality is, she did it or she wouldn't have bragged up the topic with her "friend". The only other explanation would be that the friend wants you and the only way to get any part of you is to cause seperation between your wife and yourself. Follow your instincts, they are what I define as the inner truth.

Answer 6

in case your gut feeling is often reliable, then flow for it. if you're frequently about 50% properly desirable or a lot less about your gut feeling, then i could wait it out awhile to make certain the top result.

Answer 7

Well get to bottom of this now!

Tell her she got one chance only to come clean or theres the door,and tell her you know whats, what, and if she want to save marriage or even self respect then she need to come across with truth right now!
If you feel theres something wrong then the chances are there is, so use your head, find out NOW!
Be up front and honest before it to late for both of you.

Answer 8

I think your wife is lying. Why would anyone make up a story about cheating on their spouse? It doesn't make sense. just to let you know I have used that lie in a relationship before! The truth wil come out, but if I was you I would talk to her. She doesn't seem faithful and that's from a women's perspective!

Answer 9

You know your gut. Has it ever let you down. I mean has it ever given you false information. I doubt it. Even though you might want your gut feeling to be wrong, its actually is you last line of defense. It shares a stake in this as well, so its not fooling you to get you to experience unwelcome pain. Listen to your gut, even if its not what you want to hear. Easier said than done, but you only have your experience with your intuition to guide you.

Answer 10

honeslty, i dont believe dreams mean anything, but they are something. dreams are things that are happening inside ur mind (well besides those random creepy ones) or things that u r thinkin abotu a lot. and well it seems like ur worrying about ur wife having an affair. so its normal ur having these dreams.
but always trust ur gut. so i think u should approach ur wife. tell her about ur dreams and gut feeling. if she doesnt admit it then maybe she really isnt.

good luck <3