I am 17 about to be 18-graduating-going to college and out of the 17 years I have been living I have not had the best relationship with my mom. She has always worked extremely hard every single day to have a roof over my family's head. I was basically raised by my 3 older sisters and I wish my mom and I had a better relationship. What can I do to make it better before I go off to college?
2007-03-11 13:39:35 · 20 answers · asked by her 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Why don't you tell your mom what you just told us, sounds like she was a single mom and had to put in a lot of hours to keep you guys together and safe but in doing so she gave up being very involved and supportive of your emotional needs but the question you need to answer is do you think she did the best she could under the circumstances? If so let her know that and start the "better relationship" from there.
I can imagine being a single mom with 3 daughters is a very hard thing to do but you also needed emotional support and understanding which you may not have received but now that you are older maybe you can see things from her perspective and she may be able to see from yours..... I hope so for both of you, moms are very important to you the older you get, I would not trade a minute of my time with my mother - good or bad..... Good Luck
2007-03-11 13:49:19 · answer #1 · answered by M B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really repair a lifetime of a bad relationship with your mom in a year. But, you can start to do little things that will lay out the future relationship for you and your mom. When she has time off, ask her if you two can do something together - even if it's just lunch (everyone has to eat, right?). Take time to talk to her or help her out with little things if she's stressed - like making meals or laundry.
Another thing you can do is just sit down and tell her how you feel. Let her know you want more of a close relationship with her and would like to spend more time with her.
2007-03-11 13:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're looking for a simple solution. You haven't been able to forge a great relationship in 17 years so what makes you think you are going to forge one in the short time left before college?
Most people have an up and down relationship with their mom. As you get older and more established in your own life, you won't be so reliant on her. Remember, a relationship is a two-way street. She is as responsible to reach out to you as you are to her.
Don't sweat it. You can't force any relationship -- even one with your own mother.
2007-03-11 13:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by ocean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say....sit down with her and have an open talk...
tell her..you really appreciate what she has been doing for
you and your sisters, and make mention that you wish you
could have a closer relationship with her....offer her something
to eat / drink as soon as she is back from work,
do some chores around the house..or ask her on what can
you help around the house....also...go to movies or window
shopping with her whenever possible, confide in a nice way
about a guy you like.... all these will get you closer to her.
you'll see....good luck.
2007-03-11 13:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by Roberto D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great time to "start over" since your relationship is about to change dramatically. Make sure it changes for the better. You can set the precedent by making the moves. Decide now . . . how often you will call just to say hi and ask how she is, how often you will call or write to ask for advice, how often you will thank her for helping make you who you are. She probably is so very proud of you and is secretely hoping that her hard work has paid off. Let her know! The worst thing you can do is neglect the relationship. Also, let her in on your hopes, wishes, and good times. She may be afraid to pry. Do not think that her "distance" means that she does not care!
2007-03-11 13:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by luvlaketahoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until she has a minute to talk, make shore she knows you appreciate what she dose for you and let her know that you don't feel like your close enough. I suggest on her days off spend the day with each other maybe movies and then try talking about the. While eating dinner together.
Or if she's the type that has only a few hours try renting a movie, painting each others nails, or something both like to do. Try talking more too.
It worked for me and my mom.
2007-03-11 14:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the person that said "grow up" might sound harsh but they are right.
and i see that you ARE GROWING UP because you said yourself that she's been working hard to take care of yall and you are on here asking for help so that's a good thing.
first. keep an open mind. if u haven'et already tell her that you recognize all she does for the family. bring her home some roses and tell her u want to talk to her seriously. an important conversation. timing is EVERYTHING in communicating. when u get her mind into the mind set of "important conversation" talk to her and talk about nothing but HER. tell he what she means to you and that you recognize all she does and that it's so so important to YOU that SHE knows this. AND THAT'S IT. for that convo. giver he all she deserves. let that sit in her mind for a while. then do it again with roses again. and tell her u want to talk again and then tell her u want yall's relationship to improve before you go because you Love her. even print up allll the advice that you dug up and she'll be impressed maybe that u took the time out to reach out to the world for help. u know her better than us all here. if she won't be impressed dont do that. ! lol.
good l uck
L
2007-03-11 13:48:07 · answer #7 · answered by lfis492aa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
improve relationship mom
2016-02-01 04:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by Agretha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that your mother will not change!!!!!! You have to change! Make everyday a positive one. No matter what, always tell her that you love her, appreciate her and hug her. It will always make you feel better when you leave her. Just in case something happens to either of you, at least you know that your last words were good ones. As you get older it gets better. I am 31 and my relationship with my mother is just now starting to ease out. I regret not being more mature at your age. Start now!
2007-03-11 13:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mir3lla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a heart to heart conversation and tell her how you felt over the years and you appreciate everything and how she's a great mom not because she wasnt around but because yall her kids came first and she made sure yall was living comfortable, just seriously talk to her and this starts a better relationship. communication is the key!
2007-03-11 13:43:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋