If your spouse searches for porn on the net, should you feel upset and insecure about it?? Men please Answer.?

Question

Girls can answer too. Me and my man are having issues right about now and i discovered this today...

Answer 1

As a woman, some porn can be really offensive. But it's real unfair of me to make that call for my husband. If he enjoys it and it's normal porn (no kids or animals, etc.), who am I to say he can't enjoy it?
If it's just pictures or movies, don't worry about it. If he starts chatting or meeting up, then you've got a problem.
Watching porn is just another way a man can enjoy himself. It really doesn't have anything to do with us.

Answer 2

Well, men have always had their secret stash of porn, it's just that in past generations, it was the Playboys in the garage. I understand that it's a more challenging issue nowadays, because there's SO much out there, at the tap of a key almost, so unfortunately it's much easier for men to get addicted.

I think that kind of outlines whether or not you should get upset. If it's an occasional thing, and it's not right in your face, and it doesn't take away from the amount or quality of time he spends with you, I don't think there's any reason to get terribly upset. You may not like it, but it's probably not that big of a deal if it's not adversely affecting everything else.

On the other hand, if you think he's spending too much time at it, or choosing porn rather than intimacy with you, it is a problem. If he's not willing to address the problem, maybe counseling can help.

Answer 3

Are some of your issues coming from how much sex he wants from you? If so this maybe way his on the NET. Men are more sexually active then women and seem to have a need for it. I don't think you should feel insecure about it as long as it isn't the crazy porn, animals and kids, maybe you should tell him you want to look at it with him or you should just find your own WEB site for it. Maybe try some new stuff like dress up for him one night in something very revealing. He won't take the time to look at it on the NET if his got you.

Answer 4

I don't know that my husband knows how to look up much more than porn or sports crap!

Really, I think sometimes you have to pick your battles. What's in it to win this one? So, maybe he will hide it a little better next time? Come on, that's not really what you want! I know I use to have an issue about it, I would feel like those women turned him on and that's my job and if he keeps looking at all these different women his mind might start wandering. But at some point I realized its just a man thing and nothing more.

Answer 5

Some look at porn for several reasons some like the fantasy aspects like maybe being with 2 women then others because there wife won't do certain sexual things like giving a BJ or other things. Then some there partners just are not real sexual maybe only wanting sex a couple times a week or month. The best thing to do is talk about it and ask him why.

Answer 6

properly, might you rather have him pass to different women persons? No. Or course no longer. Masturbation is as organic to a guy as plucking eyebrows is to a girl. men do. possibly he will provide up at a definite time yet he won't for a at the same time as. now and back I guy desires to do it, and picture of somebody else. that's no longer something to be afraid of. Any women persons who leaves a guy for that's no longer properly well worth the boys time. it would be comparable to a guy leaving or getting annoyed at you for staring at yet another guy. Espeacially throughout the era consultation. a guy is often being feed with excitment. It enables the boys to relax and picture extra needless to say. you're probable warm and he thinks you're. yet purely cuz he's doing that does no longer propose he thinks any much less of you. You kinda purely might desire to regulate to it.

Answer 7

you should just let it go. most men look at porn. im sure what you are really upset about is that he is not completely for you. you want him to be for you in all ways. also, perhaps youre upset because its kind of animalistic to be overly sexual. whatever the reason, you might have told yourself before a relationship to expect this and that way protected yourself from a surprise, because just about all men look at porn, even the nice ones. yea its kind of gross and unbelievable. i dont think its as important to him as the big deal youre making it out to be though. dont let it ruin your day. take care.

Answer 8

. yes you need to be and he should be upset when you see a good looking guy in the store or where ever and you check out his buns or you think that brad pit is so hot. And don't say that you never do that you know that would be a lie we all look its only human . And there is no difference if they have clothes on or not the same thought is there.

Answer 9

Kaykee,

First, let's refer to it as erotica. Porn is just a pejorative term, and what I would call the "cheaply made stuff."

Erotica has been around for thousands of years. It began as painting, sculpture and poetry, and eventually evolved into literature, photography, acting, and video.

Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.

Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.

Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."

Both men and women (single and in a relationship) have shown a desire to enjoy erotica in some form.

Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!

There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.

As long as a partner is taking care of his/her obligations and responsibilities (job, family) and seeing that the other person is being fulfilled sexually, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying alternative forms of arousal.

Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from their vagina/mouth/hand. That is sad.

And, there are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.

And then, there are many couples such as ourselves that enjoy a mature, fully-developed sex life.

If he is fulfilling you sexually, give him some privacy and space to indulge in a little fantasy. Your relationship is not at risk.

Answer 10

That depends, is he looking at something that really troubles you or is it regular porn? Is he hiding it from you?

Lots of men look at porn, as long as it's not something creepy and he isn't hiding it, why does it bother you? Some couples watch porn together.