what do i do ????

Question

my ex an i split when our baby was 3 month old i have had nothing to do with him my ex for just over 3years he has had no contact with our son since he was 3 month old i know its better this way cause kids need stability in there life, he doesnt need to keep seeing dad with different girlfriends, what happens is that after he gets with some one he starts cheating on them an trying it on with me yet when i ask him he like says oh you didnt really fink anything was goin 2 happen did ya, lol er no i know nothing was going to happen but why is he doing this like i say my baby was 3 month old he now just gone 4year old my ex is doing my head in, i dont want him back cause i know he will just hurt me an ma baby again, i really like this other guy tho a mate of my exs i think he like me cause of the way he look at me i know he loves ma lil boy 2 bits, but like i said he a mate of my ex what do i do and how will i know for sure i dont want to look an idiot

and i would like to add i have never stopped my ex from seeing his son, it is his choice that he doesn't

JTUCKER please what are you talking about i am english and like i have said i have never stopped my ex from seeing our child it is him that doesnt want to see his son. as for any relationships in the future me an ma child are a package i have my child 24/7 so dates an such are out of the question and i meant that ma exs mate has always been there for my lil boy

and also the mate has on a few occasions told me what an idiot my ex is but my ex has made me lose all trust in people and i think that maybe the mate is going back and telling my ex stuff

i dont think he is telling him stuff like just think that my ex has messed with my head an made me have no trust for anyone am glad im not with my ex anymore and feel sorry for the nxt girlf he gets

Answer 1

well hun my advice is to sort your head out first and see where it really lies it seems your ex is playing huge games and although you dont want him back he clearly feels that he can walk into your life whenever he feels and he hsant let go, classic case of he doesnt want you but he doesnt want anyone else to have you either. This is not fair as it has been nearly four years now, move on and make it clear that the door is always open for your son but nothing else and ask your male friend round for a meal, that way you can put the baby to bed and have some quality time together and try and establish his feelings towards you, as for looking like an idiot, there is only one person doing that.....your ex, so go for it you are obviously a great mom and your son is very lucky. My ex was very simmilar and still rarely bothers with his boys and they are 16 and 18 now and they grew up knowing it was him that let them down time after time and he only has himself to blame for that, you are doing everything right except for putting yourself first, we can be great mothers but have a life ourselves, your son knows the guy you like and clearly adores him so you already have the basis for a great relationship. Just take it slowly ie a meal in together and if the feelings are mutual go for it, your ex has no claim on you and should be grateful to his friend for being there for your son, clearly he is doing a far better job than your ex. As for their friendship, well maybe the friend will think you are more important and ditch him anyway once you get your feelings aired, good luck, i hope it all works out for you, you deserve a life and to be happy,emma

Answer 2

As long as this bloke you like isnt an arsehole like your ex then go for it. Try to spend more time with this bloke to find out how he feels about you and good luck! Try to get your ex out of your life for good, he obviously doesnt respect you so dont have anything more to do with him. Your kid dont need a bastard like that disrupting his life. If you think the mate is telling your ex stuff then just steer clear. It will probably end up too messy

Answer 3

the main thing here you should do is to concentrate on giving you child everything he needs if his father does not want that then say bye bye and move on, it sounds like you still have feelings for your ex and probably always will as you now have a life long bond through your child but put yourself first and the needs of your child! forget the friend as this will just complicate matters further and it sounds like you dont need that either, only you can make your life better and stronger for your child and thats all you should concentrate on, if the father cannot provide the paternal needs for the child emotionally then remove the need and provide enough love and care for your child to make up for his absence, it sounds like your both better off without this man!! goodluck x

Answer 4

Just be friends with the guy your fond of & let nature take its course it'll happen when its time. As 4 your ex dont let him get to you i know its hard. But dont let him get it you.
Just keep pressing forward with your life & the guy that you like. He'll make a move when hes ready

Dont worry, I have a feeling it'll all work its self out ;)

Answer 5

Why dont you just tell your friend that you like him & ask him outright if he talks to your ex about what he talks to you about.

If he does then tell him not to & that you would like to see more of him if he is going to be truthful to you & your lil boy.

If you like him so much ask him to marry you & bring your lil boy up in a good relationship & you all live happily ever after & stop the Ex coming round.

Answer 6

Never get relationship for your child relationship is you and other person. Has for your child relationship with hi father well he has that right and just be the bigger person and dont interfer with thier relationship let the father do wht do your son will know by what you teach him

Answer 7

Date the mate and see how it goes. If he is supportive of your ex. then find another guy

Answer 8

first, you dont need someone like your ex coming in and out of your life... he has 'moved on' so should you..... second... if you ever want to know if the guy you like, like you back, ask him.... go out on a date.... better to try and know then to go on never knowing how he feels.... good luck

Answer 9

You have to establish boundaries.