Am I a lesbian?

Question

I love being with women sexually. I mastaruabte and think of being with one, but I would never want anything other than a sexual thing with a woman. I am married to man and love him very much, but i have sexual fantasies of only women? help.

Answer 1

No, you aren't. You are confused. You see, you are so intimate with your man, (weather or not you realized it) that you are perceiving and experiencing how he feels with and about you. These thoughts are not a desire to BE WITH a woman, but to BE that woman to your husband.

Answer 2

I think you are bi sexual and that is not a bad thing. You can't help the way you feel and finding other women sexy is quite natural i think. I know lots of women who have fantasies about being with other woman and find it a turn on. One question though are you still turned on by your hubby? If you still find him sexy and your sex life is normal then i don't think there is a problem. If there is a problem with your sex life then i think you need to seek some help and work out which sex you are attracted to most.

Answer 3

you aren't a lesbian unless you've had sex with a woman. Everybody has goofy fantasies. Mine never involve men, but I sure as hell had some about going at it with two or more lesbians.

Only happened once in real life, for me, and it cost me a week's paycheck in cocaine to get them to roll around with me. It actually was a big letdown. Actualizing fantasies often is.

I've had male friends that were obviously heterosexual that had homosexual thoughts and decided to act on them. Same thing. Was a bummer for them.

Nah, frankly I think that people that prefer to have sex with others of the same gender are mentally ill, but I don't think people that fantasize about it are.

Make of that what you will.

Answer 4

You say you love you husband, but that you are not sexually attracted to him, or any other man? You have sexual feelings for women, but have the other kinds of romantic feelings for your husband only?

It might be incredibly difficult, but I hope you can be honest with your husband about it. I hope that he can understand the complicated way that you feel. It sounds like you will be happiest if you find a way to stay with your husband, but to also have sexual fulfillment with a woman. Maybe in time you will decide you are lesbian or bisexual, but don't worry about putting a label on it, just be true to your feelings.

Answer 5

I say go out and explore your fantasies. I am sure your husband would understand if you let him join in. My most fun relationships were with bisexual females. I learned a tremendous amount about women from these sexual encounters.

I think I will marry a bisexual lady next time around.

Answer 6

No --- mastabotory fantasies don't count for a whole lot or I would have banged half my neighborhood by now, and I don't cheat on my wife.

Besides, women are more attrative to look at then men in the first place, I know a lot of women that get into female-female sex sceans on porno's that never considered having sex with a women

Answer 7

dear love. dont put yourself in a box [ ]
if you are happy doing things the way you do. then go for it.
if you love your husband, and youre happy being with him, and having sex with only him. then its cool.
if you cannot thing of havin sex with him, and it grosses u out. or if u cant think of havin sex with another man if u 2 were 2 break up.
then yeah, u might b a lesbian. but you can b bisexual. that's cool too.

Answer 8

I don't think you are a lesbian. I think you might be fantasizing about women, because you are one, and women know what pleasures each other the most, plus the softness and sensuality that involves love between women since they kiss and caress each other much more than love between men and women, even though that could be incorporated. I mean this is part of the answers I have heard from other women why they fantasize about other women. So since you think you would want to be with women just for sex, at worst you might be bisexual, but defintinitely not a lesbian, since lesbians are primarily attracted to women and not men, and that doesn't seem to be you.

Madeit: The reason why some women get into lesbian porn is because of the tenderness of it, plus as I said the pleasure that women know how to give one another. I have heard the reason that some like it is because they look at things differently than the guy and just enjoy seeing pleasure and forsee themselves being pleasured. I understand how a man's penis is something that is not a great thing to see in pornos, especially the way most pornos are. But, I don't think this has to do with being more attractive, because excluding the genitals which some erotica does, soft core porn, I would think women would be more into the man's body since I would straight women find the male body sexually attractive. Like abs, defined pecs, broad shoulders, the rear, back muscles, cut arms. Obviously women are beautiful, but the sense I get from straight women looking at other womens bodies is enjoying it like looking at art, thus in a platonic, abstract manner, compared to the male body, which I would thinkg would be more sexual, or it's sexual aesthetics, which I thought was something I made up, but there is such a thing. So I would think that it would be more arousing, excluding the genitals being seen. I thought this was inherent with guys straigh or bi programmed and finding female parts arousing and sexually attractive and a big part for that being the physical appearance (sexual aesthetics).

Can appreaciate or be impressive by a chiseled male form and maybe be inspired to want to have such a physique, but that admiration being abstract or platonic. And women, of course finding other women beautiful, but looking at women more as in a platonic manner, like a work of art, so just aesthetics in the art sense, but inherently find muscles or toned muscles of the male form attractive in a different way visually, thus sexually (sexual aesthetics). Therefore, depending on the definition, because art can be many different things and is somewhat subjective. But since mathematices, and proportiongs, and smoothness, and grace, and since the female form seems more "pure", this would be more attractivre in this sense. But, the male form being more attractive physically in the real sense, or sexually, or sexual aesthetics.

Another reason is because most porn is set up by men, so most dudes look like average joes. There is a reason for that, and that is to not hurt the fragile egos of the male viewers watching since having an average looking guys screwing a beautiful woman, makes it seems that the male viewer would have a chance of doing so. Wheras, if the man looked like Brad Pitt, the male viewer might feel a little insecure. That's why it is lopsided, because most porn is produced by men. On the other hand, the male produced porn is obviously going to have women that look like barbie dolls, since it is pure fantasy, and many women don't really look like that. That is why some women become insecure when gus watch porn, because they feel they are inadequate since they don't have a fake 36-24-36 frame.

Seriously, why would a woman want to watch porn when a dude looks like Ron Jeremy, which the women look perfect. you wouldn' want to watch porn if the women looked like the comedian Roseanne Bar, now would you? If this was true about the arousing part just because of stimulation from the body lustfully, then most women wouldn't care to much for the actor hunks in movies. There are many that don't even care for celebrities, but I know quite a bit who have made comments that implied some of the men shirtless were quite sexually appealing or perhaps arousing. For examples, Hugh Jackman has been lusted over since he has showed off his great physique in Xmen and Van Helsing. I have heard of some ladies liking Daniel Craigs physiquw in Casino Royale, and so on. And if this was true, women would be turned on for all the billion topless scenes, but women I know say there are pretty/beautiful, wheras, some had more to say regarding the male actors. Plus there were quite a bit of women who were quite arousedd with movie sex scenes in Unfaithful, because it was softer and more erotic than the machine pounding that is straight porn. And it wasn't graphic with the male genitals being shown, but eveything else. So, it seems like this man's body was quite arousing directly and the interaction between him and the woman.

Answer 9

I am with a guy also, I was married for 10 years in my first marriage, I consider myself bisexual, I love woman, and they seem to excite me alot more, I don't think you are a lesbian, just bisexual.

Answer 10

You know, just c'mon over and spend the night with me. If you still think you're a lesbian in the morning, you probably are. I'm good. I'm real good. I make women very happy.