What to do?

Question

The other day I was looking through our "junk" drawer trying to find a paper for my lawyer..and I came across a notebook...it had a 5 page letter in it..to my husbands ex....in the letter he was saying that she was his one and only and that he loves her..and that nobody could ever make him as happy as she did...and that he wants her to bring the joy back into his life..and that she's the most beautiful woman in the world...well now..naturally..I was pissed...but now i'm sad..I confronted him...and he said..he wrote it 2 months ago...when we were fighting....but I feel like he doesn't love me at all and that he's staying with me for our son..and i don't know what to do..I haven't talked to him in 2 days..and I have been staying away from him..how could he love me..if he loves her as much as his little letter said?? Anyways..anyone have any advice on what to do??

Answer 1

Ouch, the facts of love. It takes awhile before that first burn fades away... Your not lost in his heart, chances are its just a security blanket, so to speak. He doesn't really believe he can have her back but likes to think he can. Or worse he knows he can but doesn't think its time yet. But if thats the truth better you leave right now. I'd need more details to know really. But nothing lost here, the truth can set everyone free. You guys need a little bit better level of communication. I can't tell you specifically how you personally can do it with this individual but you both are keeping some facts away from each other. Him, you can tell is the basic relationship insecurities that people have a hard time getting over. You on the other hand need to voice a little bit more about your concerns about why you guys are together. You say you "feel" he doesn't love you and is just staying with you for your son... not good, you should "know" at this point. Ask him, if that doesn't work tell him to tell you the truth. It doesn't mean anything hardcore that he wrote it, but it is cheating in its most minimal form(yes you can cheat on a person with your time and heart even if you don't sleep with them). He is I think conflicting with the fact that it is a "forever" thing you are trying to do, and lady if he can't see that, its best for the son you leave him alone. Mostly becuase we don't need him teaching the son that kinda survival techniques. But it could all be fixed with the right conversation. Talk to him make him understand that relationships go up and down but if he thinks for a second your going to stand around while he makes wrong descisions, show him he has got another thing coming. That namly your not going to stay in a relationship where you don't feel love becuase it isn't what you or you little kiddo deserve.