I feel oppressed and pushed into making a choice, yet I adore them all and want them to be friends. I do not fell I have to be traditional and have only one regular or specific lover. Surely an utilitarian principle here is acceptable, who is harmed? Is anyone harned, am I niave? Can one be polygamous without incurring public disdain? Or are we still subscribing as a nation and as a society to a one man one woman ideal nuclear family unit? It seems the parochial and patriachal double headed monster has come to lay its heads at my feet and demand its customary tithes. Advocacy is needed.
2007-03-11 11:52:28 · 41 answers · asked by Smiler 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
We live in a society that has not yet evolved enough for your lifestyle to be the norm. You've had some pretty adverse reactions so far. It's your life n your choice, that's what FREEDOM is all about. However l think you are in danger of naivety if you think everyone is just gonna get rid of their 'old fashioned' hang ups n think like you. lt's not gonna happen. We have to respect others sensibilities as we expect others to respect ours. Your friend has made his feelings clear, he wants y' traditional monogamy. You have made it pretty clear you're going through your feminist phase at the moment. Good for you girl, every grown Womyn should have had one. But when you get back to the real world( and have less time n energy) you'll probably settle for one like the rest of us. Don't get me wrong, l've had more than one before, no strings n all that but true intimacy takes more commitment. Good luck with your choices.
2007-03-11 14:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by elecheartco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not want to have only one regular or specific lover? I think the guy who's asking you to drop the other two is the more sensible fellow you should keep.
Can one be polygamous without incurring public disdain? Good for you to be born to this generation. They used to stone adulterers, remember?
The one man one woman ideal nuclear family has worked for so long and here we are trying to re-invent the wheel. So I guess the decision is really up to you... Keep the sane fellow or maintain the other two who probably wouldn't mind if you bring another five more into the party so you can have one each day of the week.
I know it's fun... so enjoy it while it lusts.
2007-03-12 15:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by vercast 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The simple thing to do is ask yourself, honestly, how you'd feel if someone you loved, and deeply wanted to be yours (and only yours) told you that he was seeing two other girls and frankly didn't want to decide which to be monogomous with because he was happy to have all three.
Don't instantly say 'I'd be fine with that,' because that's ridiculous. If you really, truly cared about someone you wouldn't want to share them. At all.
People who screw other people around end up alone, no matter how many boy / girlfriends they used to have going at once. Eventually the fellas will get wise to you and ALL stop paying you attention (but then you wouldn't have this awful choice to make, would you? ;-) )
Sit yourself down and get your head together.
If you can't decide on just one of them, then do ANY of them mean that much to you? If it's the case that not one of them can fill the boyfriend role in your life then it's likely that none of them are worth keeping and you'd be better off looking for ONE person you are happy with.
2007-03-11 18:39:27 · answer #3 · answered by Phil K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up any of them. You are by nature an immoral and promiscous girl. (Men have a name for girls like you, but I'm not allowed to use it here, and anyway I don't agree with them. I think you are gorgeous. You must be, because if you talk the way you speak, you must be very physically attractive or the majority of men wouldn't be attracted to you. I would though. I've always been attracted to pretentiousness in girls. I don't know why).Unless you are seeing several men at once you will feel unfulfilled.
P.s. I'm just having a bit of fun with you. You do what you like. As long as you are honest with all of them, there's no comeback is there? Apart from the emotional fallout you will leave in your wake. But, hey-ho eh?
2007-03-12 23:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy doing the same as you would be a bit of a prick to be honest. If no-one is being hurt then why would he need you to give the others up? I suspect you know the answer but no amount of wordy pretension will change the fact that at your core, you are a bit of a boot.
2007-03-11 18:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by tara_365 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay feminism has nothing to do with it, as with most of womens problems.
If they know about each other, what makes you think one of them did bond to you, they probably keep you around because you spread your legs while beeing on the lookout for wife material.
If I were you and you like the guy I would take him because the other 2 are going to leave for sure, question is only when they are going to do it.
2007-03-11 16:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Polygamy is one man who has more than 4 wives. How could you satisfy all three guys? Anyway yes people would look at you weird. You should pick one and dump the other 2. I'm amazed you lasted this long.
2007-03-11 13:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Carol, by all means keep all 3 if that's what you really want, but why make life so complicated ? You think you're freer than the monogomous majority, but actually you're putting far more work into your sex life than it possibly merits. Leaves less time for friends, family, reading and life in general. I'd rather have one intense relationship than 3 part timers, not because I think it's more moral - stuff that - but because quality is always better than quantity
2007-03-11 12:11:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wait... this was on an episode of friends.
I think if you continue, you won't be satisfied because no one man will really love you as he will be using you as much as you use him. There will be no love and it will just be a futile relationship, hurting everyone involved. If they do love you, then it would be hurting them even more because they will want you alone and naturally want to give you things which they can't because you will be with other men.
It comes down to a lose-lose situation.
2007-03-11 13:42:58 · answer #9 · answered by n0luckz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he wants you and only you, and you can't give him that. Be honest with him and say you just aren't willing to give up the other men in your life right now. If he can't ahndle it, then he should leave, just make sure you aren't playing with his heart, and the only way to know that for sure is that you tell him teh truth. Mayeb things can work out between you 2 when you are comfortable with just one man.
2007-03-11 12:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Whole 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋