my boyfriend wants to move in together, but i was taught that you shouldn't live together before you're married. My boyfriend feels strongly about it, but i'm not sure how i really feel. I love him very much and wouldn't mind living with him, but I know that it would probably upset my parents and his parents. Plus he lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Michigan. What is your advice on my situation? And did living with your significant other before you were married give you better insight to each other? Or would you rather have waited until you were married to live together? Please help!
2007-03-11 11:02:35 · 16 answers · asked by collegeboundblonde1287 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Each situation is different, but I am a guy and have some experience with how a guys mind can work.
Why should I commit to spend my life with someone when they will just let me say I love them and move in with them?
I think it's a bad idea. If he can't commit to you in marriage, I don't think he deserves 'all' of you as in moving in with you.
Good luck with this!
2007-03-11 11:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look i totally get the "living in sin" i was raised the same way, BUT, todays day and age is alot different then our parents people get a divorce for someone sneezing wrong.. and im sure u'd rather make sure this is going to work before u make a life long commitment to someone and then find out a couple years down the road that ur getting divorced because u didnt really know each other all that well.. U can be with someone 10 years dating, and untill u live together u dont really know each other. And it will take over 6 months of living together before the Real u and Him really show.. because at first its going to be as if ur playing house and seem fun, and exciting and new , but once life becomes routine, that will be the real test , and the more comfortable u get with each other, the more your bad habits and quirks start showing, and the more they start irritating each other.. My suggestion to you, is to get engaged, set a date for about a year and a half from now, move in, give it a year after the "honeymoon" stage.. and see if u both mesh well before actually taking the vows.. Me and my husband lived together for 2 years before we got married.. and my parents wouldnt come to our house till we were married, we could go there, but because they believe in the whole living in sin they wouldnt come over to our house till we were actually married.. but ive already been divorced once , i didnt want to rush into anything i wasnt sure of again.. and bottom line, their not the one that has to marry him, u do.. so do what u feel u have to do , it is your life, respect how they feel, but do what u feel is best for you..
2007-03-11 18:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My significant other and I were both married before. We were in no hurry to remarry but we did want to be together and committed to each other. The only real way to know a person is to Live with them. My Man and I have been living together for 5 years now and are both very happy. Its a whole lot easier to get into a Marriage than to get out of one, and with the Divorce rates being so high, Living together now adays is the best thing to do..
2007-03-11 18:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by donna_honeycutt47 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I lived together for 5yrs before we married basically when you live together your married without the papers but it gave us insight on how the two of us could live together and find out what each other is like 24/7. It's better to live together and find out your not compatible then to get married and find this out and have to go through a divorce. If you look at the statistics you will find more and more couples are living together.
2007-03-11 18:20:46 · answer #4 · answered by miester44 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It’s actually a bad idea to live together before you are married. Cohabitation is like sex with a roommate. Both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people. And only 20% of coupes end up getting married after living together first. And I think the divorce rate for those couples is like 30% higher.
but you know every situaton is dfferent and these are just statistics. Do what you feel is right. :)
2007-03-11 18:17:43 · answer #5 · answered by Wyst 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would never marry a man without living with him first.
What if you find that there is NO WAY you can handle things? You wouldn't have to go throught the cost of a marriage or divorce after finding he has bad habits you just can't live with or vise versa.
2007-03-11 18:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your situation. How old are you guys? That will have alot to do with how well things work out. I live with my girlfriend and its a good way to learn about eachother. if things don't workout you can both walk away with your stuff and it will cost you nothing. get married and a divorce could cost you thousands.
2007-03-11 18:19:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a big responsibility i live with my fiance and well i guess the whole marriage thing has taken a back seat to other things like kids buying a house financial things we have it all except the ring... maybe its better to wait? nothing wrong with being traditional... plus u are in different states thats got a huge toll too.. what about jobs and families... all those must be taken into consideration
2007-03-11 18:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my husband for 2 yrs before marriage and highly recommend it! You'll find out in 2 yrs whether you're willing to continue doing this for the rest of your life. You have to make certain your compatible.
2007-03-11 18:16:25 · answer #9 · answered by Incognito 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I live with my boyfriend! Let me explain it this way! People are different and you have to learn each others ways! so its best to move in with them b4 you marry them so when you get married to him you know what is Expected of you
2007-03-11 18:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by HunnyBunny 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋