why do woman/men ask for support when they cried about wanting the child in the first place?

Question

So here is my question I hope I get lots, its for my own research not for self. I notice allot of people both men and woman are back behind on child support and have a hard time, most think Oh he/she is a loser because they are not up to date, people seem to forget by the time it goes to court they are behind because they go all the way back from the first file papers ( sad) not thw parent has something to hold over the man/womans head forever ( especially with intrest tacked on) my question is, is if the custodial parent cries about wanting the child so badly why don't they forgive the parent who is behind and give them a new start? why doesn't the parent allow more time with the child with the other parent( forget about the abusive ones or molesters in this case) most of all why do the custodial parents hold crap over the other parents head, why when you read stuff on here about spouse leaving why are the so big on the support thing, did you not have them? can you not get a job?

I am going to keep putting input in here, it does not take 2 people to raise a child its a proven fact...there are single men and woman who do great jobs with no help..( they are strong people as well)

I have 4 teen age boys so yes I have kids second...this is just a question for people and third I have been in both shoes have paid child support and have not had to I never made him pay when I had my kids I have my boys now, their dad passed away now but I never made him pay as he did me..so yes I have kids..curious what and why others do what they do to the non-custodial parents

I suppose if people could understand what is written here, I would not be asking such a question..LOL..
Notice there are all woman answering this.

Answer 1

WOMAN NEED THE MAN TO MAKE THE BABY, BUT THEN HAVE NO NEED FOR THEM WHEN THEY HAVE IT, BUT THE NEED HIS MONEY, even if she does not need the money she will get it anyway,and still send the cops after you if you don't pay and have your kid calling some new b/f daddy! it's a power trip

Answer 2

I believe the children need support because if both parents were together and both working, the child/children would have more opportunities due to the income levels, they would likely get to have more, I should say, it depends on what the parents spend money on. Because the parents don't live together, doesn't stop the needs and requests the children had when together. I do believe, the custodial parent should be required to show where the money is spent, possibly the family has a joint children's support account. The money goes in with receipts of who donated, receipts put in showing money used and what was purchase, school supplies, yearbook fees, sports exams, whatever was required for the children. Many feel they need to "get" the other parent and use the kids as pawns, so wrong, yet so common. Don't fail into that, try to make decisions based on the kids needs, not your on. Some women choose to move on and not rely on anyone except herself. That's a tough decision to make, maybe not fair for all involved, but sometimes needed. I didn't push for support, mainly because I felt/knew it was a waste of time, his money was paying for alcohol and nothing else. So for years no support, I broke my leg and was off work for six months, had to ask for state help, they got in the mess and went for support, back support for years. It was insane, there was no way he would or could pay what they wanted. It ended with me getting enough to cover one of the kids lunches for the month. Yippee.........I didn't care though, I already decided that whatever happended would be a bonus/gift and to not depend on it. So it goes on...................................Good luck.

Answer 3

Most people want the child so they dont have to pay child support and expect it out of the other parent, and than there are others who want the child but cant get a job cause the child is to young and daycare cost to much and of course you have the people that take the child cause the other parent dont want the child and than the parent that has the child get no help from the other parent. But i think its only right that the one that doesnt have the child pays the child support to help the other parent cause we all know how expensive most children can be and i think the other parent should be more than willing to help pay for his or her own children

Answer 4

I am a single mom too.. have been for a long time. I didn't cry or whine to have physical custody, .. I would have it no other way. And, seeing how I had given up my friggin life to marry him and have kids, he needs to pay support. I would love to have been in the position like you might have been in, where I could just say "I have a job, I will do it alone".. you have just given all the 'child support evaders' another excuse to get by with. Most single parents are not financially ok to raise them alone. Hooray for you if you could. Obviously you have not walked in the 'average' single parent footsteps, so don't judge them. My x husband makes about $75,000 a year. and when we split, all I cared about was having my kids and food and housing. According to the law, I could have gotten $1200 a month on child support. I chose not to. I saw no point in breaking him. I chose to tell him, never to miss a payment, help with food for them and medical.. a measly $500 a month. And I was at minimim wage at the time. Now, keep in mind, I am doing ok now.. went back to school, got a good job.. but.. do not judge people.. You are fortunate to have not had to struggle. Both parents are young when children are starting to be born. Not thinking about down the road. By the time divorce or child support comes around, it is too late. But, my kids??? they will be careful. Because my kids know what could be the outcome, because they lived it. People looking for child support, need it. Oh, and my x said to me .. 'just let the kids live with me'.. hahaha.. no way.. he is a sucky dad. It is not cut and dry like how you just made it seem.

Answer 5

Never went for child support.
HOWEVER
Accidental pregnancy or not ... When we all do the act bringing a life into this world, RESPONSIBILITIES of caring for that those lives should be placed on us.
If one parent is not willing to spend time with a child, well, you cant make them do so however, they should be held liable for the cost of that child.
We all go thru hard times, but your suggesting that because one parent is having a hard time with money that the "parent" with the children should work harder to cover both parents expenses of the kids because that is where the children live?
Whose bills are higher, the parent without the kids or the one with the kids?
Come on, why should the parent who chose to live up to their responsibilities of taking care of their children allow the other off the hook?

Until you have to work 6 days a week, 2 jobs, go to games, have doc bills, dentist bills, school supplies, clothes and etc to be responsible for and watch the other parent who isn't supporting : buy a new car, go on vacation ... etc... instead of being a responsible parent of the creation of life they as well brought into this world .. Then you shouldn't cast such a sour opinion of the many struggling parents in this world who loved their kids enough to say I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, but I will not lay down to be STEPPED UPON

Answer 6

First of all, it DOES take 2 people to bring a child into the world and BOTH are equally responsible for Supporting that child. A Father or Mother who is suppose to be paying Child Support, does not need to get behind. That child has to have Clothes and Food and Doctors Bills paid for. There is way too many Dead Beat Fathers and Mothers out there not doing their responsibilty in raising their children and expecting Welfare and everyone else to do it for them.

Answer 7

Hey, it took 2 people to make the child and both should be supporting the child! My husband pays his support come rain or shine and that is just how it should be! And yes, the custodial parent can get a job and should get a job because the support is never enough to raise a child. It takes 2 parents whether together or not to support the child.

Answer 8

wow...you obviously don't have kids ......don't criticize someone until you have walked in their shoes....both people made the child and both need to support the child...the custodial parent makes all the sacrifices and takes care of every single need the child has...the other parent visits and gives some monetary support which is never enough to really support the child.....don't know where you are coming from

Answer 9

sure! If he became guy sufficient to father a toddler then he's to blame for the youngster. only because he did not desire the toddler would not advise he's not to blame for the commercial help of the youngster. He could of concept about the consequences of his moves. She did not get pregnant on my own. She's entitles to some help. Yeah she wanted to have the toddler and he did not yet that does enable him get off scott loose. Legally he's to blame for baby help. until eventually, he signs and indications over all his parental rights to the youngster. yet meaning he has no rights as a parent No legal floor to face on.

Answer 10

how they get here is moot... and todays child support goes by BOTH parents incomes. if one parent doesnt work the court calculates an income for them (min wage) which lessens the amount paid.

doopid

OF COURSE ITS WOMEN ANSWERING IT; of deadbeats, 80% are men... according to the census b.

LETS BREAK IT DOWN FOR THE GOOBER:
---because state and federal government are TIRED of people not paying for their children
---because TAXPAYERS are tired of deadbeats also.
---because GONE are the days of hiding til the child turns 18, today, arrears are forever... even if that child is now 30.
---because deadbeats want to pay for their new shiney truck (payments)
---because deadbeats are too lazy to even climb in the truck to come pick up the kids for visitation
---because deadbeats cry they cant afford the child support and yet go make more babies
---because deadbeats dont realize how much kids cost and have a DUTY to pay for them as well as the other parent.

you pay what? 400? 600? 900?

ok, lets see...
rent; 1000
electric 300-500
food 400-600
diapers 75-150 per month (fluctuates when baby is sick or teething)
heat 300
phone/cable 100
auto; (for doctors, dentists, take to school when they miss the bus, pick up when sick, pick up medicines, get food) 200
clothing/shoes/boots 200-400 every 2 to 3 months (seasonal and they grow)

that doesnt even include dental, doctors, glasses, daycare, hair cuts, school supplies, school lunches, school projects, class trips, class pictures, over the counter medicines, prescriptions, laundry det, dish det, cleaners, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, acne medicines, bras, pads, christmas, easter, halloween, tooth fairy, birthdays, etc. and sooo much more.

try calling 1-800- I CANT ADD

CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATORS
http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/calculators.htm
http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/childsupport/
http://www.helpyourselfdivorce.com/child-support-calculators.html

FINDING DEADBEATS
http://www.wantedposters.com/skiptrace.htm
http://find.intelius.com/search-name.php?ReportType=1&
http://www.discreetdata.com/index.html
http://www.identitycrawler.net/people_search.html
http://www.efindoutthetruth.com/
http://www.peoplefinders.com
http://zabasearch.com/

FACTS AND REGIONAL FEDERAL CS OFFICE INFO
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/fct4.htm
http://www.divorcesource.com/WI/ARTICLES/beaulier11.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/opa/fact_sheets/cse_factsheet.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/index.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/faq.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/passport.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/fop/fop.htm
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/newhire/faq/faq.htm
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/grants/grants_cse.html
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/index.html
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region2/index.html
http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.govbenefits.gov/govbenefits_en.portal
http://www.fedstats.gov/qf/
http://www.fedworld.gov/gov-links.html
http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/pfs92/ch3.htm

CHILD SUPPORT LIEN NETWORK
(some states work with them)
http://www.childsupportliens.com/

COLLECTORS
http://www.supportkids.com/
http://www.supportcollectors.com/faq.php
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/
http://www.deadbeatdadfinders.com/links.html
http://www.childsupport-aces.org/index2.html
http://www.divorcesource.com/info/deadbeat/deadbeat.shtml

TAX INFO
http://www.taxsites.com/index.htm
http://www.divorceinfo.com/taxes.htm
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc354.html
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc422.html
http://www.irs.gov/faqs/faq4-5.html
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/advocate/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p525/index.html

http://www.fms.treas.gov/faq/offsets_childsupport.html
http://www.irs.gov/publications/p504/ar02.html#d0e563
http://money.cnn.com/2007/02/14/pf/taxes/do_not_miss_tax_breaks/index.htm?postversion=2007021411

REPORT DEADBEATS
WORKING UNDER THE TABLE
(in writing, to your local and federal IRS offices)
http://www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html
http://www.irs.gov/compliance/enforcement/article/0,,id=106778,00.html

SEX OFFENDERS
http://www.mapsexoffenders.com/
http://www.scanusa.com/
http://www.nsopr.gov/
http://www.familywatchdog.us/Default.asp