This man is frightening - he said to me: "I hope you don't die, I might get accused like Scott Petersen".
He left us to take a job abroad, and has paid not child support since. I think he is trying to force us to move by giving me no money at all for the children
Now he wants to come and visit with his parents. Do I have to put up with this? The children don't want them to come. They know the financial situation, and how hard it has been. These people are English, very fake "Oh, what a lovely day" ignoring the fact that we are having a terrible time trying to find the next meal. I want to fight this - but I know it can look bad in court if I don't let them visit. Yet I feel really insulted and angry - how dare they come when my husband has left us in this situation? No money, no medical insurance, and I only managed to keep the house because the real estate agent said he couldn't sell it without my signature! I don't want them to upset the peace of mind that the children and I have
2007-03-11 10:24:14 · 15 answers · asked by katy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To the person who said "what did you do to make him leave?". He got offered a job abroad that he wanted very much, and I didn't want to emigrate a second time with the children (we already moved country for him once). He said he only married me for a visa - he didn't marry me when his child was born.
2007-03-11 10:42:05 · update #1
I don't think I can have him arrested as there isn't an order for child support. I haven't started a divorce as I can't afford it.
Thank you for the supportive answers - I don't know if I do have control of this situation, even with the way he has been acting. The courts can take sides, just as people on Yahoo answers do, and some jump to conclusions.
I will try to visualize a good outcome, that is great advice, brought me to tears. Thank you
2007-03-11 10:50:17 · update #2
what did you do to make him leave the country?
2007-03-11 10:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Wow, that's a tough situation. I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this. Even if it does look bad for you not letting them visit, all you have to do is say that your children didn't want to see them and you don't want to upset your children's peace of mind. You were worried that it would upset the children more if they were allowed to come. If he has a job with an american company then there is a way to get child support, but can be very costly. so it may not be worth it for you. I have 2 boys who's father lives in costa rica and i can't get child support from him cause i can't afford the attorney, plus my boys don't want anything to do with him, so i just let him be. that may be your best bet. file for divorce and let him be. i don't know if this was any help, but believe me, i know what you're going through. their grandparents used to come over all the time and would get upset cause my kids didn't have the best things and never took into consideration that i was doing the best i could with no child support coming in.
2007-03-11 10:34:39 · answer #2 · answered by robsgrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine why you think you would look bad in court, it is he who left the country to keep from paying child support-- then he comes back and wants to visit. What you should do is take him to court before he gets gone again and tell his parents they can visit when he starts paying his present and past due child support--- and alimony.
I know how hard you are having it because I have been in your shoes, working two or three jobs to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. IT IS NOT EASY !!
He is trying to get you to sign over the house so he can have it. Stick in there girl. After this is over maybe you will find someone who loves you and your kids and you can be happy.I did 37 years ago.
Good Luck and God Bless !!
2007-03-11 10:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by "Hooks" 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm-who says you have to do what the husband wants-get an attorney to mediate and help him get that he's not the boss anymore ---you are-good luck p.s. It won't look bad in court for you-find a women's group and they will give you the name of a good attorney-they are just intimidating you-My ex did the same thing to me-and i was terrified of being the one in the wrong because he had me convinced i was-the judge let him know that he wasn't amused with his bullying and it turned out great for me-also ask your doctor for the name of a good social worker who deals with divorce-mine empowered me-Good luck hon-do whatever you and the children want and don't care what these people think or say-He's going to look a whole lot worse for letting you and the kids starve than you are for denying him visits
2007-03-11 11:01:45 · answer #4 · answered by Melinda M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I support you wholeheartedly. The question is do you want your beautiful, innocent children exposed to this callous, cold manipulation? You know since he has not supported your children financially or emotionally you are in control of this situation. Only you can decide what to allow or disallow in your life. Your children now are depending upon your wisdom in this situation. They know the deal. Children are brilliantly pure and observant. Visualize the outcome you wish to see in your life with unwavering certainty and you will be supported by the universe.
2007-03-11 10:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have my opinion and here it is and YOUR not going to like it that is for sure..One Scott Peterson is on Death Row..why because of NO EVIDENCE NONE PERIOD because people believe he did it cuz he had a girl friend he was doing on the side Gee how many men and woman do this ....LOTS just COURT TV went off and said "Oh scott you did it you know you did and all you ban wagons jumped in" What a freaking joke on top of that, 3 days after she was missing CNN told the world where he was fishing what a easy set up for this poor guy who knows nothing about SCOTT...
Now for my opinion I see you are another owman who has told their children everything bad about their father and nothing good "Oh he owes this oh he owes that" and missy I use to pay and I am a woman so I have the right to talk here, "
I am for both sides but if there is one thing I can not stand is a person who keeps their children from the other parent because "THEY HAVE NOT BEEN SUPPORTING THEM WITH MONEY" you know you got your aid and food stamps you know they ate and had clothes on their back, you don't know his situation..so your making your kids hate him because of what YOU SAY..how sad is that, that is why so many men and woman go without seeing their kids because the custodial parent talks **** and you know what I don't blame the father for not doing anything, you most likly made it hard for him..BY THE WAY ..HE LEFT YOU NOT THE KIDS people need top get their stories straight for their children ..poor kids ..poor kids
2007-03-11 10:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by Gina 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You know what I applaud you for putting your foot down. Your husband know better. And for him to come out his mouth and say he"I hope you don't die" that was not a nice thing to say, if he was joking or not. If i was you i will fight him in court. You and your kids know that he is not doing his job. And its sad that i takes for the kids to say that they don't want to see him and his parents. And it is sad that his parents is not helping you at all. It seems to me that he want to see you fail. Some men need women to need them. He want you to ask him for his help in supporting HIS KIDS. And about taking him to court i will fight for whats right. and it will not look bad in court. You doing what a GOOD Mother suppose to do. and that's why i applaud you. But its help out there you can get for your kids behalf. Like medicaid, food-stamps, and other thing that you can apply for.But if i was you do whats best for your kids sake. Cause that's all that matters. But try going to your local social services and that could help with your kids doctor bills. I wish you the best and good luck.
(You could go on-line and see can you pull it up. I stay in North Carolina so its www.wakecountyhumanservices.com so just type in your county where you live in , and that should help out alot. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-11 11:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥♥ H☮TMAMA ♥♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have court ordered child support you can have him arrested as soon as he steps on American soil. Write and tell him what are your intention most likely he will give up an idea to visit.
2007-03-11 11:12:44 · answer #8 · answered by bibus75 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to the police and get a restraining order. Also you can not withold visitation becasue of the lack of child support payments. if you ex gets a lawyer and proves you witheld visitation he may get custody. Protect yourself and get a court order setting up childsupport and a visitation schedule.
2007-03-11 11:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yu should just say that he has harrased yu and if you have no proof just say yu want a restraing order agaisnt him and his family.
especially if your kids dont want anything to do with him.
tell him to leave yu alone.
dont take any crap or threats. whenever yu talk on the phone to him, record the conversation, or if he writes letters. theres the proof for yu.
and even if yu dont have a child support order get him to admit somehow on the phone(being recorded) the he hasnt helped or given anything for kids.
it'll help i had a friend who did that, he didnt get arrested but they got the restraining order.
2007-03-11 14:08:58 · answer #10 · answered by MsChuLa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Contact a lawyer, get a restraining oder, or some call it an exparte against your husband. For what he said to you and that your afraid of him.
Contact child support enforcement also
2007-03-11 10:43:59 · answer #11 · answered by walker9842 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋