Is it hateful for parents to teach children that they will likely be hetero, which is the norm for humans?

Question

The vast majority of humans are hetero. It is how we procreate and continue the species. It is how we create the next generation of workers, taxpayers and teachers. Is it hateful to teach this to kids?

This is a yes or no answer. Then provide details to explain if you wish.

Answer 1

Not hateful, just good sense.

Answer 2

Wow, I don't think I can answer yes or no. I don't think it is hateful per se; however, it can be construed as hateful. Your question needs some clarification.

I raised my kids without making gender statements. An example of this would be "I can't wait until you get married to a boy". I did not tell my kids when they were young all about sex, yet when they got older I explained homosexuality just as I did about sex and marriage.

I guess it isn't hateful but it is shortsighted. Your next remark about procreation is also shortsighted. You have not mentioned adoption (not only for the homosexual community but for infertile couples) and artificial insemination.

Yes, 90% of the population is heterosexual. But that leaves a 1 in 10 chance of homosexuality. Do you know 10 people? Does your child? And I am sure your children has had 10 teachers.

Look, I am not advocating giving children too much information. But I would not neglect the fact that homosexuality is not a secret that needs to stay in the closet.

Oh and before anyone asks, I am heterosexual and married. I also have raised 4 children who are understanding, tolerant of others and happen to be heterosexual.

Answer 3

It's not wrong so much as it's unnecessary, and potentially harmful in cases where the child does turn out to be homosexual.

You cannot teach a child to be heterosexual. Nor can you teach her to be homosexual. You can provide an environment in which she's encouraged to discover who she is and what kind of person she is and what social and sexual roles suit her best as a person.

Trying to funnel a child down a specific gender-normed path will only work if that is what is best for that child. If it isn't, you just end up with an unhappy, possibly emotionally damaged child who grows into an emotionally damaged adult.

My parents tried to socialize me male, and all they ended up doing was depriving me of the role models I needed to be the person I was and making me a very unhappy person most of my childhood and early adulthood, and it still didn't make me any kind of a man

Should we teach children how babies are made? Absolutely, we should educate them on the biological processes and help prepare them for the emotional ones that come with sexual activity.

People are who they are. Focus on teaching them to be good people rather than some narrowly defined gender role, and you get happier, better developed people.

Answer 4

No. By the time parents get around to teaching their kids about sex, these kids have been so involved in the world around them they have a good idea of what its all about anyway. This includes gay people. Kids in pre-school call other kids gay or f-ag without really knowing any better, and thats because for so long so many adults around them look with scorn upon such things. Many school districts these days are starting to teach gay awareness with books in the curiculm like 'Heather Has Two Mommies'. It's not about sex but more about sensitivity towards the LBGT community at large. Some parents can deal with it and some can't. I sincerely hope the children of the parents who can't deal with it who are gay can deal with dealing with their parents. Also that the straight children of these parents can determine for themselves that there is nothing to loath or fear.

Answer 5

Humans are sexual beings. There is an enormous amount of sex going on and very little of it has anything to do with procreation. We don't have sex for procreation, we have it for fun. Children are a minor by-product.

There are many heterosexual couples who choose not to have children. How is their sex life any more "right" or "wrong" than that of a homosexual couple? How many children do you have? How many sexual acts have you been involved in (by yourself or with someone else)? Most of those sex acts were not to do with procreation. How were they different, therefore, from homosexual sex? They are not.

Even though most sex has nothing to do with procreation, we still managed to produce 6 billion humans on the planet. Don't you think that's enough to be going on with?

Most people will have sex with people of the opposite sex. Some will have it with people of the same sex. Some will do it with both. Humans are sexual beings. If there weren't so many impositions imposed by religions and laws, many more people would be exploring their sexuality and enjoying it with both sexes as happens in many cultures around the world.

Teach your children love and tolerance. Teach them to be themselves. Accept them for who they are not who you think they ought to be. If they are gay, so be it. Whatever you do, don't perpetuate the myth that homosexuality is abnormal, it isn't. It is a normal and necessary part of humanity.

Answer 6

I don't think that you can teach a child what to be. It is beyond your control. Certainly, though, at an appropriate age, a discussion about how babies are made would make sense. Remember, though, that some children come from non-traditional homes, and tolerance and respect for all people is one of the healthiest values you can model for the younger generation, in hopes that it will be instilled.

Answer 7

I don't think it's hateful... what's hateful is kicking them out of the house when they come out.

Parents also try to teach kids gender-appropriate and buy little Billy a G.I. Joe and toy dump tuck and little Suzy a Barbie and a toy kitchen set. Some parents are horrified if their little girl ends up being a tomboy. I didn't really have female friends when I was growing up and went mountainbiking with my friends, but I never considered myself to be a tomboy. I'm weird and closer to gender-neutral, I guess.

Answer 8

"Hateful" is a value judgment, so your request for a "yes or no" indicates that you want us to pass judgment over someone else's passing judgment. This seems relatively circular, because someone could say you are being hateful by saying parents are being hateful....

Instead, I think it is best to advise parents to recognize that there is a possibility for children to grow up with a variety of personality aspects that are impossible to know before they manifest themselves. They may be introverted or extroverted, left-handed or right-handed, gay or bi or straight. Children may have times to know this when their orientation arises. The human race is in no danger of dying out.

And it is best for kids to learn that no matter what they discover about themselves, they will have the capacity of being good workers, taxpayers and teachers.

Answer 9

No, it's not hateful to raise them as if they're hetero. It is hateful to raise them to believe that hetero is the only way to be and that everyone who is not straight is evil and should be treated badly.

But no, I think pretty much all kids are "raised straight" for the most part. It's when they get old enough to start thinking about what they want and need out of life that they figure out what their actual sexual prefrence is.

Answer 10

It's also how we create the next generation of criminals, deadbeats, burger-flippers, and economic leeches. Your child doesn't need your help to realize who they're attracted to, they'll do so on their own in their own time. You should encourage them to do whatever makes them happiest, indoctrinating them with this "you must become an ideal husband/wife, it's your responsibility to society" bullshit only stresses young people and often tricks them into feeling forced to live unfulfilling lives.

Answer 11

Um, not to be rude, but are you implying that no one but straight people can become "next generation of workers, taxpayers and teachers"?