He has asked for my parents phone number and also my brothers. I have been married to this man since October 21, 1998. I have probally lived with him about 3 years and 10 months out of all that time. We have two boys together they are 7 & 6. They have only seen him the same amout of time as I have. Also he doesn't pay child support and only tells the boys how bad daddy has it. What do I do to keep the contact for the boys, and yet let him understand I'm not going on the ride with him again?
2007-03-11 10:00:18 · 19 answers · asked by sweetgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although a court would eventually order it, contact with a dad of that sort is probably worse than him just being gone for good.
Tell him straight your feelings, don't let him in your house and you should be good to go as far as getting your point across.
He is probably down on his luck and needs a free ride for awhile until he gets on his feet and can run off again.
2007-03-11 11:02:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering why you didn't divorce this piece of crap along time ago. He is not a dad, he has fathered two children, that doesn't count when the father of the year awards are passed out. He is using the children saying things like that confuses children that age, they don't want dad to be lonely, but on the other hand, they "know", children are far smarter than they are given credit for. They've heard the arguements/fights, and they know what it is like not having the fights, they will choose stability and love, and they deserve that. Don't let this man confuse you, don't let him talk you into letting him stay a bit, file for divorce right now, that should give him the hint to move on, forget about getting child support, just resolve to make it on your own, you don't need baggage like that holding you back, be strong and independent, show your children that their feelings do matter and that they are loved. Good luck.
2007-03-11 10:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he's anything like my ex, his "visit" is to see the boys and he wants your parents and brothers phone numbers so he can ask them for some favor or some money. Do yourself a favor and push forward to get a divorce. And why the heck hasn't he paid child support all this time? get a lawyer and leave your emotions outside of his office--don't bring them in with you. get the child support you need to raise the boys that he can't even come visit without an ulterior motive.
2007-03-11 10:11:03 · answer #3 · answered by j05gemini 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm in a similar sort of situation. I also haven't filed for divorce. I've been getting advice that you can apply for child support, and back payments of it, without getting a divorce. Some states have child support departments that will apply for it on your behalf, and you don't have to pay them (maybe the fees come out of the payments, or maybe the Dads have to pay, I don't know). I'll be interested to see what replies you get.
2007-03-11 10:35:29 · answer #4 · answered by katy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well divorce him take all you can from him since he hasn't given any money to raise the boys. ALso make arrangements sot eh boys can see his father either every weekend or every other weekend. And also ahve him start paying child support. Now as the saying goes he is a prime example of a loser father. Hope the boys can forgive him when they grow up. But your best bet is divorce him.
2007-03-11 10:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he has some emotional issues. Does he suffer from depression? Many times, people like this are expert at having people "jump on their roller coaster". You mentioned child support, but not that you are getting a divorce. If you haven't done one, you legally can't get the other. He needs to see a doctor and have a blood test to check hormone levels for depression. In either case, stay away from him. He's not right.
2007-03-11 10:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Gary M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him that you will bring the boys to see him for a couole of hours and to let you know where he will be staying. If you have time, get your divorce papers ready for his visit. You may want to have one of your brothers with you when you bring the boys. Or better yet, meet in a public place because you don't know what this jerk might do,
2007-03-11 10:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
File for divorce and arrange for him to have visitation of the kids through the court system. This will set down some legal ground rules as to when and how he can see the kids and it makes it clear that you are done with him. Then make him stick to the rules.
As for the kids, don't say anything bad about their dad around them. Kids are smart, they will eventually figure out the score if they haven't already.
2007-03-11 10:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have a sit down talk with him. Let him know how you feel. Make it clear in no uncertain terms want you want to happen next. And let him know he can see the kids when he wants. But also let him know you need help in raising them as well. You didn't make those kids by yourself. He should help with expenses. No excuses about how bad he has it. Life is tough. Tell him you need him to be the man you married. Someone who will stand by you and the kids.
2007-03-11 10:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by bubbly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, being that you don't really have a real marriage it might behoove you to get a lawyer and at least get legally seperated. I'm sure you can set up some kind of custody or visitation if he is willing.
2007-03-11 11:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋