Question for moms with babies in daycare.?

Question

My son will be going into daycare in May when I return to work. He'll be 6 1/2 months old. I would love any tips you can give me. Especially, how do you handle separation anxiety, I have it, not my baby. I have only been away from him for about a total of 4 hours since he was born in October. It breaks my heart to have to be away from him all day long. I have no choice but to return to work due to money and health insurance coverage.

How do you handle the fact that you might miss some of the important "firsts". Like first steps, first word.

Anyone still breastfeeding? Does it still work out to breastfeed at night and in the morning and then give formula during the day? What if I'm unable to pump during the day, will my milk dry up?

Does 4 babies to 1 adult seem high? There are only babies in the room, when they reach 12 months then they move on to the next room.

Any other day care advise or tips are welcome.

Thanks.

Thanks everyone for all the great answers!

Answer 1

I am a lead teacher in an infant room in a daycare.

I understand how sad you feel whenever you drop your child off for the first time. Ask if the center has an open door policy which would allow you to stop for visits whenever you would like. Also find out if they mind you calling them. At my center, I encourage parents on their first day to call anytime they have the desire and I will tell you exactly what your baby is doing. This may not be the case at your center, if it's not, I would seriously consider a center where communication between the parents and the staff is more accessible.

As for the firsts, honestly, we never mention to our parents if we get to experience a "first". These are especially important things to parents, and really, sometimes it's better left unsaid. The parents really enjoy getting to come into the center and tell us of geting to experience their child's first whatever.

As far as breastfeeding, I have several children who have no issue switching between the bottle and breastfeeding. You will however, want to get your baby used to a bottle so that when they go to daycare there will be no issues with adjusting.

Our state ratio (PA) is 4:1. This is really one of the better ratios in the country. Texas has a 14:1. Four babies may seem overwhelming to you, but as a well trained provider at that ratio, you learn how to multi-task and become comfortable caring for four babies. Again, talk to your provider and find out how they run their room.

As for other advice, make sure you have at least two seasonal changes of clothing, labeled with your child's first or last name. You will want to label ANYTHING that you may take to your child's center. Bottle, bottle rims, bottle lids, diapers, wipes, bibs, clothing, pacifiers...whatever you take. Another important and helpful item is a schedule of your baby's day. When they eat, sleep, get their diaper changed...anything that you think will help your provider care for your child. If your child has acid reflux, make sure that they are aware of that fact; they may just assume your child is ill if not noted otherwise.

Talk with your provider frequently. Make them aware of any changes to your child's schedule. They should want to talk with you and tell you about your child's day.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

First of all, congrats on your son. Also, good luck entering the workforce again after becoming a mom. I have done the same thing and I totally understand. What I recommend you do is to start going on little outings without your son. Leave him with a trusted family member or friend. When you start the daycare, start a week or so before you start back to work. That way you can leave him for 4 hours the first day, 5 the second, and so forth. That will help you to see that he is well taken care of and build up your resolve. As for the milestones, when my children were getting close, I requested the daycare to not tell me whether they made the milestone there. I could then enjoy seeing the moment and not hear about it. Yes, breastfeeding at night and formula in the daytime will work. You will have to train your body to produce less milk in the daytime, so you better start working on that now. I did it and it worked great. There is no worry about pumping in the daytime, your milk will still be there. The 4 to 1 ratio is quite acceptable. You have to remember that the whole reason the adult is in there is to take care of your child and the other three. The caregiver doesn't have to worry about all the other things we have to worry about in the daytime that distract us and keep us busy. Just try not to worry. As long as you have researched your daycare choice and checked references, you should be fine. The fact that you are worried, though, shows just how much you care for your son. We all want what is best for our children. My oldest was in daycare from 6 weeks until she went to school and she is one of the smartest kids in the class and was able to transition very well. Daycare is a very positive thing for working moms.

Answer 3

Everything will be okay!! I had the same problem when my third child had to go to daycare after keeping my first two home. It is hard at first, but you will cherish every moment that you have with your child when you're with them. The separation anxiety will subside, but there will be many days that you will wish you were at home with the baby instead of being at work, but this will happen all the time anyway!

My only other daycare advise is that the immune system of your child will be great! Children that go to day care are exposed to so many more strains of the common cold that when they get older, they are less likely to be sick. You will always get the childhood illnesses out of the way early, and you'll have healthy kids that are well adjusted to interacting with other children. I knoe we miss them, but maybe it's better for them.

I did breastfeed my first two and my baby until she was 6 months old. It can work, but it really depends on your daycare and their requirements on how you need to bring the infant's milk for feeding. Mine requested thawed milk, in bottles and ready for serving. If they didn't use what I put into a bottle, they threw it away. It's like gold going down the drain!! If your daycare will work with you and allow frozen milk, the breastfeeding will work. If you've been doing it so far, the milk will get backed up and you'll have to pump during a break during your work day. The milk will not dry up, just build up. If you don't want to leak, I suggest pumping, at a minimum, 3 times a day. Your angel will adjust to your schedule and drink more off of you at night. If you need to use formula, things work pretty much the same. You can still pump if you need to, and just freeze it.

Your child may take their first step with someone else, but they will take their first step with you, with you!! Don't fear. You'll still be around for firsts, even if it's the first major tantrum. You're not out of the loop!

The baby ratio doesn't really seem that high. My daycare had more of a 1:8 ratio and it works if there are no toddlers (2 and up) in the room. The small babies are actually very easy to watch and don't cause many problems. The only problem comes if all of them want to eat at the same time, but when does that ever happen??

Honestly, it's very hard to let someone else take care of your child. I understand why it has to happen, and you're going to be okay!! I love my kids more than anything, but they do have to be watched by someone else while I work. Don't worry so much, and have confidence that you're doing something better for your child by making the money to take care of them.

Answer 4

I understand how you feel, I returned to work when my baby was 3 1/2 months old. Seperation anxiety... Do I remember that first day like it was yesterday. I think I walked back and forth from the front door of the building back to the nursery 20 times. Then I cried so bad in the car. I allowed myself one call to check on her during the day and then by week 2 I was comfortable that the people I was leaving my kid with was capable of taking good care of her and keeping her alive!

I reccomend that you sit with them in the afternoon throughout the week when you get a chance. Get to know them it makes it better. Figure out where they are from, how long they have been in the nursery and just chit chat. I still do it and my baby is now 6 months. Makes me comfortable.

The "firsts". I got to see the first roll, but not continuously. I think the other babies motivate them to do more. One day I brought her home and she was a rolling machine. It was crazy. To me it's my first time seeing her do it. So it's not so bad.

I am still breastfeeding! I've been doing quite well as far as being back to work and pumping. I refuse to give her formula and it's my personal choice. Some days I'm a little short on her milk and others I produce a lot more then I need. So I make up for it. You should pump through the day or express them yourself by pinching around the nipple. Do it into a bottle so you can save that little bit of milk. You will most likely get engored by missing feedings and it get uncomfortable. I highly doubt you will dry up...

4 babies to one does seem high, but I think it's okay when you have several people in the room. Some babies are independent and some are hand held babies.

Just relax get to know them. Love when your babies face lights up when he has missed you all day long! Good luck!

Answer 5

It is completely normal to feel all the things you are feeling! Every mom who ever put a kid into daycare feels the same way. I sat at the dining room table of my provider and cried my eyes out when I went back to work. We both survived!

Talk to your daycare provider about your concern about missing the "firsts". Often, daycare centers/providers will document everything, should it happen there, including time, what was said, how many steps, etc. Some even take photos for you. Baby's firsts most often happen when they are with the people they love and trust most, and that will always be you!

Breastfeeding does work - contrary to some of the purists, baby will take the breast when it is available and the bottle when it is not. If you are not able to pump at work, your baby will help dictate the laws of supply and demand, and your milk will not likely dry up. When you first start this routine, it is advisable to have pads on hand, to avoid messy leaks. It may take a little while to get your body used to a new system.

Four babies to one adult seems like a pretty good ratio. In my state, the law says 6 to 1. There are usually extra hands to help if it is a "crabby" day in the infant room. The people who choose to spend their entire day surrounded by babies really love babies and take good care of them. I was sorry not to have found my daycare when my son was an infant.

Kids in daycare can thrive and often build lifelong relationships. My son has received cards at Christmas and birthdays, been invited to weddings and received baby announcements from his former providers, and these people have remained important to his life long after he moved on. Visit your daycare with your baby, prior to starting full time. This will help you both relax, and get to know the staff.

Good luck!

Answer 6

I would suggest getting a sitter or someone you trust to come and sit with your baby while you run errands once or twice a week and increase the amount of time you are gone. I know it breaks your heart, but your baby will be fine and he's going to need this transition so daycare isn't such a big shock. I'd see if you can start bringing him a few days a week for half a day--that sort of thing so he at least gets used to the new environment slowly instead of all at once.

I'd start pumping now and freezing your milk so that you can bring breast milk to daycare and continue to pump during the day when you go back to work. Or, if you plan to switch to formula at daycare, know that your baby could be irritable and have a negative reaction to the change in milk. It's a major diet change for him. Switch him over on that slowly, too, if that's what he'll be fed at daycare. Mix breast milk and formula. Get him used to the bottle now.

As far as possibly missing "firsts," your baby will experiment for days or weeks before the "Firsts." Plus, no one will have the same reaction as you to your baby's firsts. It's not so much a first for the baby (as he will experiment for weeks before and weeks afterward), but a first for you or his caregivers. The baby won't know you won't there when he gets older.

Four babies to one adult is not too many. It's universal. Your baby will get more than enough attention--they are put on a routine and he will absolutely thrive in that environment.

I would never consider not sending my kids to daycare because I think it's important for socialization and building immunization. Your son is so lucky to be going to a daycare! At 6 1/2 months he might have separation anxiety, plus he'll be feeding off of yours. Just know that within five minutes of you leaving, he's no longer thinking about the fact that you're gone and he'll be enjoying himself with his new "friends" and teachers.

Answer 7

It is all normal for you to be nervous. I would be concerned it you were not. So just know you are normal mom returning to work. If you are concerned about your child's care then be a active. Show up early (lunch time or in middle of day or morning) see how your child is doing. Is he fed? Happy and changed? Is he playing and content? This will help you know he is well taken care of. Keeps caregiver on their toes. You are allowed to show up early and be there if feel you need to.
Breastfeeding is your choice. If you work close then go and B/F at your lunch time. I did this and loved the time away to be with my son. I only did it for two maybe three weeks and then I felt better and weaned him. That what I did and it worked for me.
Good luck. You are a great mom because you care. It will be fine. Do what you have too. You are getting some great advice here. Take what works for you and your son. It is not easy to decide to go back to work but when you feel comfortable with your daycare it will be easier. I hope they accomadate you and your concerns.
Best of luck.

Answer 8

My daughters have been in daycare since 6 weeks old.

1. The daycare they went to made a point NOT to tell parents if their children did any "firsts". That way, it was still special to the parents.
2. I did not breastfeed
3. 4 babies to 1 adult is decent, especially if it's a center. They can call for help and get relief when needed.
:) It will be ok, I promise. Don't worry!!!

Answer 9

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