They always sit together at nights out and have cosy coffees in his office. He says he would not object to me having a male friend and going out for a drink with him. So, any males out there looking for a friend?
2007-03-11 09:54:57 · 41 answers · asked by Ally 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why are you even married? Do either one of you know what it means.
2007-03-11 09:58:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Female/male friends are fine - but cosy coffees sound a bit too friendly for my liking - on the nights out where are you? Is he leaving you on your own or are you sitting with them?
Make sure your male friend is younger than your husband and twice as good looking
2007-03-11 10:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you decide to hang out with a male friend as your husband is doing with a lady, you need to decide if you truly want to have a male friend besides your husband and do more than make him jealous. If you and your husband are relatively young, especially in your marriage, people do have wild ideas at first that can change and quickly when they see what they wanted was unreasonable.
It sounds to me as if he wants an open relationship where you two are not committed to each other, emotionally or romantically. If he doesn't care about you "going out for a drink" with a male friend it pretty much says he wants both of you to have affairs. I am sure you think that giving him a taste of his own medicine may wake him up, and it may do that...but do you really want to get into a game of dating guys to make him jealous, or do you want to date others just because it is what you want like him? I suspect since you are asking this question in an answer format you really don't want this or you would simply go to a dating site and chat room.
If you don't want this to be an "open" marriage I would suggest you talk to him about boundaries and tell him he either stop seeing other women and sitting nights out...or you are going to stop being together for awhile. It could be that wakes him up, or he needs to be divorced to stop cheating which is what this is. I hope you figure out what you want, and if you do truly want an "open" relationship, at least you'll be sure of it after thinking about the consequences. Good luck.
2007-03-11 11:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by mark63049 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about you but I would not want to play this game both you and your husband are playing right now. Why would anyone suggest that you go look for a male friend just to make him jealous? What a spot to put this "friend" in. Forget your husband's suggestion to find a male friend and just watch this new friend of his. I don't care what anyone says that tells you that there is nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex. If what you say is true about them spending nights out? Just follow your gut on this. My husband should have watched me more closely. I too had a "male friend" that started out so innocently. It SOOOOO wasn't in the end.
2007-03-11 11:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure dear Im sure a lot of males would love to have you as a friend.
But are you sure this is the correct way to go? Have you tried to find out whether this friendship of your husband with this other woman is just an innicent friendship or is it something deeper.
Did you try talking to this woman of his and find out what she wants? If its serious you better do something other than try to get back at him by having male friends yourself.
If you need a friend you could contact me on
brian158@yahoo.com
and yes dont worry, Im too far away from you to be dangerous in any way, but we could be good friends anyway.
2007-03-11 10:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by brian p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a female friend maybe all innocent and harmless. If you consider it to be cheating when he has coffee with a female friend then it is cheating and he must respect that.
I enjoy a good cup of coffee after a nice supper. I have been divorced for several years now and I am still single. Its just me and my sons here right now. It's always nice to have some company over. How do you take your coffee?
2007-03-11 10:07:23 · answer #6 · answered by ally_oop_64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's right there's nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship. Why should there be?
I have loads of female friends, same as my girlfriend has a lot of male friends. Never been a problem, and I can't see why it should be a problem.
2007-03-11 11:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are married there is nothing wrong with having friends, but if this bothers one of you then it's a problem. You should not go get male friends to make your husband mad. You will be starting something instead of handleing it. Tell your husband how you feel. Are you threaten by this friend he has? Do you belive there is something going on with them to? If so then girl you need to talk to your husband ASAP. Before things go to far, but talk and ask questions (do not assume anything).
2007-03-11 10:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Nina1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hay girl are you ironing he's shirts and pants more often and is he paying a little too much attention to his personal hygiene then you have a problem if he doesn't care how he look;s when he goes out then I wouldn't worry too much, why don't you ask him to invite her over for a barbie if there is nothing in it he will have no problem's with that and you can see for yourself how the land Lay's women are not stupid and we know when are men are on the prowl so invite her and have a look for yourself,
2007-03-11 10:16:47 · answer #9 · answered by yah yah sisterhood 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is...do you trust your husband? Has he ever cheated before? Is he a flirt? Was he a flirt before you got married? If he is the cheating kind, why are you still with him? If he is a good loving husband with no nasty past, then trust him and relax. Maybe this will help him get more in tune with you now that he is talking with other woman.
2007-03-11 12:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by blue_6670 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing wrong with having he opposite sex as a friend.
Most of my friends are male, and I get along with men more that women. My husband is fine with that.
But you need to feel comfortable, and if you're not which you don't sound to be on this receiving end, then you need to talk to him.
2007-03-11 09:58:44 · answer #11 · answered by chloe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋