What is wrong with me?

Question

I just realized i have a problem.. With guys i'm not attracted to i'm able to be classy and keep them as friends for years and years.. but when it's somebody that i'm attracted to, i strategically make it so we don't have a connection and get to the point they want to break up with me everytime. i just realized this with the last guy i met.. he was really into me, he used to call me at night to talk so we could get to know eachother, and i wouldn't answer the phone and then i slept with him fast.. i always do that.. guys i'm not attracted to, i can be friend with them for ten years, be drunk around them and everything and not sleep with them.. why do i do this? i want to be happy someday...

Answer 1

you put too much pressure on yourself because since you're attracted to them, you start to worry. That leads to trying to hard and being fake. It's hard to get out of that cycle.

Answer 2

I can only answer this question because I have dated you about 10 times (not really you, by the way, girls exactly like you). This problem is not uncommon, by any means. From my experience, the problem roots back to the following things (could be one, all, or a combination of these things. Only you will know which it is. But once you realize which it is, you can work at each issue separately, eventually fixing the whole thing):
- Low self esteem (don't feel bad, everyone has it, to some extent). Because you are unable to admit your own worth to yourself, you subconsciously cannot imagine why anyone else would see that worth. This causes you to put up a wall that separates you from people who would come too close. The basic idea is: If they get too close, they'll see all the bad in me. This also causes people to get physical (i.e. have sex) sooner, because subconsciously, they feel as if that's the only way they'll guarantee a man to be with them.
- Fear of the end of the relationship. People who have never been treated right in relationships tend to fear getting too close in any new relationship. This seems to be due to the fact that it's so much easier to let go of someone you hardly know. So, if you don't allow a connection, when things go bad, it won't hurt as much.
- The need to be loved unconditionally. Some girls have been with nothing but guys who want to change them. If this happens too often, a girl tends to start placing more restrictions on any new relationship. If a guy can push through the defenses and actually make an emotional connection, the girl knows that he really wants her, unconditionally. This is, again, mostly subconscious.
There are numerous reasons, most likely, that you would do this. It's normal. You're not an alcoholic, and you're definitely not a bad person. The fact that you've noticed it says a lot about your character. It's a good thing. Don't listen to the idiots who are trying to tell you that you're bad for this. It's a psychological thing and by acknowledging its existence, you can overcome it. Best of luck to you. If you ever need an anonymous, unbiased ear or "e-shoulder" feel free to e-mail me.

Answer 3

You have a drinking problem. To protect the drinking problem from outside influence such as an ultimatum to quit or moderate, you will reject any relationship that requires a commitment. Address the underlying causes that you use to choose to drink to excess and you will be able to deal with the drinking problem. Once this problem is under your control, you will find that commitment to close, intimate relationships will simply fall into place.

Good luck with the bad habit. Peace be yours ... let happiness follow.

Answer 4

Instead of saying what is wrong with me, ask the question, how can I win this challenge? Sometimes; the way we ask our questions gives us our answers. You have to decide to be happy, no one can do that for you, but you.

Answer 5

maybe you have low self esteem. Seeing a therapist is good for some people.

Answer 6

lay off the alcohol have some restraint