There was one time when my stepdaughter was 3, and she was playing with a dollhouse. Well, it was time to go somewhere, and she refused to pick up the toys. I wouldn't give in. She yelled"No.", and began to walk away. I picked her up and intended to sit her back down in front of the dollhouse, but as I was sitting her down, she tucked her legs under ( like children do when they don't want you to put them down). I lost my balance and fell forward, on top of her, causing her face to smash into the dollhouse. She had a deep gash all the way down her nose, and one between the eyes. We had to take her to the ER and she had stitches put in. My husband told the ER that she ran and fell on the dollhouse. He advised me to tell everyone the same, out of fear that they may look at it like I "Threw" her into the dollhouse, and see it as abuse. I have told everyone this false story, even my parents. (Running out of room.......)
2007-03-11 09:30:33 · 6 answers · asked by Lindsey H 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I asked him once how he would feel if I were to tell everyone the truth, and he replied "they will never look at you the same again." This hurts because it makes me feel like I did do something wrong, when I didn't. It was a complete accident, and he knows this, he was there. One of my biggest values is honesty, and it is tearing me up by lying to people. But what if they did view it as though I intentionally did this to her? I am out of ideas on what to do. She does not remember the experiance, so she beleives she ran and fell on the dollhouse also. So I feel like I am lying to everyone including myself.
2007-03-11 09:34:02 · update #1
Hi. How old is your stepdaughter? If she is old enough you may consider telling her alone. Looking after kids is prone with accidents and incidents just like in your case. I'm not sure what the laws are like where you live but that anyone would see this as something else I find hard to believe.
Does your step-daughter have any permanent scarring from the incident? And why are people being told the story anyway?
You have to make the decision based on what will help you the most- not basing it on some type of ideology/principle about "honesty".
If telling the truth will just blow up ever thing out of proportion and make your life more stressful and difficult - Why would you do this? Who would it help anyway?
However if your having difficulty sleeping at night and see this as an extremely big thing you may consider telling the truth. (-and only to a few people).
conclusion: You seem like a nice person: Do what will make your life the easiest. (avoid blowing things up out of proportion ;) )
2007-03-11 23:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation. I would never advise anyone to lie but you have to look at this way. Say you do tell everyone the truth one of those people could turn you into social services and have her taken away and put into foster care. Its a completely likely possibility. Would you rather a guilty conscience or feel responsible for your husbands daughter being taken away from him. Nothing about this sort of situation is easy or pleasant and neither decision will be easy on you so you should do what makes sense. Not to mention you and your husband could get in a lot of trouble for lying about it. I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news and just so you know it sounds like you were completely innocent in all this. It sounds like it was just a simple accident.
2007-03-11 09:51:04 · answer #2 · answered by Becky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all value honesty but the sad truth also is that the truth is often warped by most people. I have to agree with your husband on this one because even if you tell the truth and even if people appear to believe what you are saying, at the back of their mind they are entertaining the idea that you did it maybe out of "rage" or something. Moreso, the social service people might be contacted by some suspicious people and could turn into something unpleasant. As long as you know the truth, then it's much better to consider this as a white lie or a necessary evil if you want.
2007-03-11 09:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by woman in the well 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't tell the truth. I have been in a similar situation. I had to lie to the doctors at the hospital because I would have been blamed. Luckily I had a witness, the babysitter. But the doctor did give me an odd look when I took my daughter in to the hospital with the gash on her lip. It seems we are guilty until proven innocent. With all the child abuse around these days we are assumed guilty. It's a shame but society has made us have to lie to keep our children from being taken away.
2007-03-11 10:11:55 · answer #4 · answered by elanabutcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it is important to some of us to be honest in any situation, in this day and age people have to be very careful about indulging information about a child's welfare. Laws have gotten so strict that almost anything can be taken as abuse or neglect. If I were in your position (and I have been) I would tell people that you are close to the truth but keep John Q. on the lowdown, if you know what I mean.
2007-03-11 09:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by yourname1999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would so lie.. mabe not to my parents but ppl would take it the wrong way, i guess ur gonna be picking up the toys from now on lol
2007-03-11 09:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by luhb u much!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋