pregnant and dont know what to do next?

Question

ok to cut a long story short, missed a period so took a test which came back positive. it's not just that im pregnant which im terribly worried about, it's the fact i am only 18 and from quite a strict ethnic familly and i am more worried about their reaction then anything else. i know they will react badly if they knew the father wasnt from my cultural background. it's all just a big mess and i dont know what to do next

sorry, forgot to add i have already told the father and he doesnt want to know, he wants me to get rid of it but i havent come to any descisions about that yet. you would not believe how petrified i am of telling my familly, i know they would take this badly unlike any other familly they are quite traditional and strict

Answer 1

Take a deep breath and look at your options.
1. To keep or not to keep? The Brook Advisory Centre www.brook.org.uk offers free confidential advice online or over the phone [phone] office hours. They will help you talk the problem through to help you find out what you want to do. It is a big decision.
2. Where are you going to live if you have this baby? Get Connected www.getconnected.org. uk are another useful organisation aimed at helping young people in crisis - phone [phone] from 1pm-11pm every day.
3. Telling the parents. This is a tough one, and something you can't avoid unless you move to another area. Do you think it might help to tell another family member you trust, or a friend and then have them with you when you break the news?
Yes, they probably will be angry - because they might see this baby as the death of some hopes and plans they have for you but if they truly love you, lets hope they show it by standing with you.

I am sure all of us hope this comes out right for you.

Answer 2

Well one good thing is that your of legal age.If you don't want to keep the baby and you are awfully young..But that's a problem that many women have overcome.BUT...remember..there is open adoption where you can go see the child,be there for birthdays and holidays.Do whats best for the child.I raised both my children in poverty and even though there both fine boys I always wished I had given them the things they should have had.Plus, a lot of couples will put you up and take care of the medical bills.Your parents would never have to know.Just remember if you make the deal with adoptive parents please honor your end of the bargain. It will hurt a lot but at least you can see the child.Not like the olden days when you never knew where the child went.The peace of mind that your child has everything he or she needs is great.

Answer 3

Let me tell you what, if you don't tell them it will be worse. If you don't keep the baby, that would be even more worse if your family is so strict. Don't listen to the dad. He is obviosuly a looser and someone you can't depend on for support. Do yourself a favor and just cut the ties now with him. It will be much easier. Find a close friend or family member you trust to be your support, then tell your family with them at your side. It will be OK in the end. It won't be easy at first I can promise you that. Just best to get it over with so things can start getting better. Good luck!!

Answer 4

It sounds like a big mess you're in, and I know you're afraid, but they ARE your family. They'll be upset at first, but they'll have to get over it, because in a few short months there will be another beautiful little member of your family, and like it or not, they're going to get attatched and fall in love with the little sweetheart.

A word of advice, if the father shows no interest, leave him completely out of it. It'll only cause heartache for you later.

Answer 5

well,your 18,if you think youre not ready 4 a child you dont need your parents permission 4 a termination,but you might be surprised at your folks reaction,its your and only your decision what to do next,i hope you make the right choice and my thoughts are with you and if you want to talk im [e-mail]..4get the father,hes obviously not worth the time of day,im here to talk to

Answer 6

sorry to hear about ur situation, first u have to decide what u wanna do, keep or terminate, if u terminate, ur family may not have to know about the pregnancy at all. If u choose to continue with ur pregnancy then u have made ur decision and ur family will have to accept it, but being a single mum u will prob have to rely on them for help so dont alienate urself from ur family, anyway best of luck in ur decision what ever u choose. x

Answer 7

You need to figure out what you want to do, then talk to the father and i think the last step would be for both families to sit down and work this out..But don't let anyone force you to make a decision you are not ready for or can't handle, this is one of those decisions that no matter what you decide it will affect the rest of your life...

Answer 8

aw must be awful for you hun big hugs

first of all forget about the father hes made it clear he wants nothing to do with the baby,so theres no future with him

yes your parents maybe a little disappointed, upset shout and scream at you, but im sure they love you very much and want whats best for you

your at legal age so they cant force you to terminate the baby,give yourself time to think about it,get used to it yourself before confronting your parents
im sure they will give you the support you need hun

good luck

Answer 9

My mom is really strict too. And i was 18 when i got pregnant.

What you need to do is sit down with her and explain the situation. She might get mad at first, but she will be over it soon enough. She will be happy to know she will be a grandmother.

Answer 10

Well this is totally up to you hun!~ you are 18 yrs old, I think you are old enough to make your own choice, i wouldnt let anyone else make that choice for you~..your parents might be disappointed at first but it wont always be that way! its your body and your baby and youll be the one raising em~..and if you let them talk you out of it or let them make that decision for you, and you dont really feel the same, it would be aweful if you regret that decision later!...just sit down and talk to them soon and tell them what you want and explain how you feel, hopefully they will understand! goodluck~