He says he only thought about it, but have found them on three separate occasions. He is very busy with his job but there are times I imagine he could fit in an affair. Do you trust someone like this, do I take his word he only thought about it. We have been married for 2 years and have great sex usually 3 to 4 times a week, so is this just me, I failed somehow?
2007-03-11 08:19:21 · 30 answers · asked by katva24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
New condoms, never opened, never found wrappers or anything, just new ones
2007-03-11 08:27:54 · update #1
Sweetie it also happened to me 4 months ago,but mine was a bit diff. issue,but our sex life stunk for over a year,then I was getting something in his car when I found the condom by the driver seat edge. He said it wasn't his, maybe from our teenager's daughter, maybe from the man that fix the car, all lies.
Finally I caught his affairs with another woman who's also married 3 months ago. Your's is a bit diff. your instinct is telling you something,don't ignore it, maybe his telling the truth,maybe not but if he says that he thought about it before, why in a world that he even thinking of doing it if the two of you are happy?/ Please be careful and be aware of his action and mood, a man thats having an affair do act more happy, always dressep up when he goes to work, and watch his cell phone................goodluck!1
2007-03-11 08:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you use condoms together when you are having sex 3 or 4 times a week? If he has condoms and you don't use them then I would be worried! Not only that but he says he only thought about it... but he took time to go out and buy condoms? Who was he thinking about doing it with? I think you are being a bit naive...
It is better when you know the truth and can make an informed decision about what you want to do! Trust me I found this out the hard way!
2007-03-11 08:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by thesiphone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His cheating does not reflect failure on your part. I do not believe his excuses. There really is no reason for a married man to have those in his car, no matter what. On three separate occasions, it's obvious he's using them. I would have some condoms of my own, just to spark the conversation. If you want to go that way. You've spoken to him about this, and he has not admitted to it, this creates a problem, when he constantly has a new stash in his car.
2007-03-11 08:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do NOT blame yourself. You have not failed in any way. If he's cheating, or even thinking about cheating, then it's a flaw in his character, not yours. I hate to say it but I get the feeling he's being unfaithful to you, and apparently has done it more than once. And did you just let him get away with even saying he was thinking about cheating? That's wrong too, I would have hit the roof. Ask him to go to marriage counseling with you, and please, stop being naive. Let him know you are not dumb and that you will not stand by and let him cheat on you. If he refuses to go to counseling with you, you might just have to leave him, unless you are okay with him having women on the side. Please don't be a doormat, I was for 8 years, looking back I knew he was cheating so many times but would buy his lies because I didn't want to lose him. What I ended up losing was myself, I didn't know who I was and I had no self-respect. I'm so glad I finally got rid of him when I did rather than wasting any more of my years on him.
2007-03-11 08:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's going to deny cheating on you. But, do you need a frying pan up side your head to realize the man is lying to you. Hello, honey, no man keeps condoms around unless he is using them. He has already done the deed, i am sorry. We ALL think about it, like what its like to be with someone else, that is normal and natural, but do we all go out and buy rubbers? Not unless we've done it, and besides, even if he is telling the truth (doubtful) isnt the fact that he put SO much thought into as to actually going out and buying rubbers enough to hurt you and to know that this man is not trustworthy? Whats next, first the thought, then the condom purchase, then the actual act. Even if he hasnt dont it (again, doubtful), he will do it. But i can bet my next paycheck he is already guilty of it.
2007-03-11 08:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody would find condoms in MY car. Unless they were planted, to cause trouble. News flash. Finding condoms three different times, while not PROOF, is very, very, very, strong evidence that he is cheating. Besides, do you really believe that he's come close enough to cheating, that he got condoms on least three different occasions- yet never cheated? I suppose motel receipts wouldn't actually be proof either, but a wife would be nuts not to believe her husband was using motels to cheat, if she saw three local motel charges on hubby's credit statement. Lady, if it looks like a duck, has feathers like a duck, and quacks like a duck- it's a duck. And, your husband IS a cheater.
2007-03-11 09:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take all the condoms from the car, if you find them again after that, you two need to have a serious talk. I myself, as you have explained, would be very suspicious. Ask him again why they are there, and if he denies it, ask him why they are there if he does not need them. You have not failed him, sounds like you need to ask him this question while holding one of the condom's about 3 feet from his face.
2007-03-11 08:29:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't think about cheating, he just married you 2 yrs ago! You should be the only one he thinks about.
Why does he have condoms (even unopened) in his car, do you guys regularly have sex in the car? Did he just purchase them and they were in a grocery bag?
Sounds mighty fishy.
Don't have children yet.
2007-03-11 08:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run girl, get away from that man. Even if he says he only THOUGHT about it then that's far enough. You don't need to be treated that way and you deserve alot better. You didn't fail in your relationship he did.
2007-03-11 08:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want answers set him up.
Tail him.
Have someone follow him.
Do your reasearch.
Very soon you will get your answers and when you get your answers I hope you do the right thing.
You do not forgive infidelity, it takes a woman who knows her value and self worth to tell a cheating man that you will not do this to me again and take necessary steps.
For someone to cheat on you, means you did not matter in the first place, so taking him back is not all of a sudden going to make you matter, most of them are sorry for being caught not the act itself.
I wish you all the best.
2007-03-11 08:49:48 · answer #10 · answered by Pink_Zirconia!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋