2007-03-11 08:04:13 · 33 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do what is best for the kids and show them that sometimes things don't work out, but it doesn't mean that you and your wife don't care about each other and love them. I know from personal experience with my parents that I was fully aware that they were unhappy together and it just kept getting worse... When they finally separated it was hard on me, but in the end I had two parents that cared about each other and me enough separate before they couldn't be in the same room together. I ended up with parents that could talk and laugh as friends instead of two people that hated each other.
2007-03-11 08:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by thesiphone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the worst mistake any parent could ever make--being with the other parent "for the kids".
I realize that I may have grown up with issues caused by the divorce of my parents. But to just think if they had stayed together!! Gosh I would have even more issues.
Children are very intelligent. They know when their parents are unhappy together. I was only 3 when my parents separated and I still remember the arguments they would have.
The scenario of both parents being happy is what ultimately has a better effect on the children. They will be better people for it.
2007-03-11 08:09:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no fan of divorce, especially if kids are involved. I come from a broken home, it is not good for kids. But, in your case, you tried more than once. More importantly, kids are happier with one good parent in the home and the other coming to visit or take them sometimes than to live in a home where they are not seeing love and hugs and kisses. They will survive, but if you stay and you are unhappy, that will show them that you don't need love and happiness to be married. Do you want the same for your children. Tell your wife, you tried, you just can't do it anymore, and try to end it nicely. Get visitation and let your kids know you both still love them.
2007-03-11 09:26:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't happy, there have to be some underlying reasons.
I remember when i was a child growing up -- my parents were unhappy, too.
Considering that, i can remember that the stress and tension in our home was so thick, you practically had to cut through it with a knife, just to get through the house.
My parents didn't "fight and argue" but my father insulted my mother quite a lot, and the guests we had in our house. she was miserable for years, and i KNEW it, starting from the time i was about 8 years old...
They were finally divorced when i was 18 years old.. many years of misery.
Sometimes counseling works for people, IF they are willing to work at it. Other times, it's just over.
Perhaps talk with your wife about it all again, and if you think it's time to make a serious decision about your marriage, let her know.
all the best
2007-03-11 08:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree completely. If you are unhappy then it would effect the relationship with both your wife and kids. You have to find out why you are unhappy. If your relationship with your wife has come to an end then you must get out. Alternatively seek marriage guidance if that doesn't help the marriage is finished, leave and continue your role as a parent and remain friends with your wife if possible.
2007-03-11 08:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should think about your kids future's as well...but in the way of: do you really want them to see that the only reason you are there is for them. I'm sorry I am a product of "that doesn't work" home. My parents did just what you are talking about and to be quite honest it gave me the false sense of what being together really means. I am 32 and they are just splitting up now. My whole childhood was spent wishing that they would just break up and get it over with. They were always alot nicer to us and eachother when they did have their temporary break-ups. I say if you are going to do anything for your kids it is to really take a look at both sides of the coin. Staying for them might not be as good as leaving for them.
2007-03-11 08:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by sass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason you keep coming back and it isn't just for the kids. You love her and need to get some therapy to get through the horrible and confusing time in your life right now. There has been studies done and kids do much better in life when both parents are together and doing ok.
2007-03-11 08:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only talk about you with no regard for your kids. If you are not much of a father to start with, do whatever you want. But if you have feeling for the children you brought to this world, find a way to show it.
You sound like no matter what you do, nothing will keep the eccentric YOU happy anyway.
2007-03-11 08:10:53 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is making the kids miserable. You never want to stay in a bad relationship for the kids. They sense the pressure, which is hard on them, and they can feel the tension. The kids will adjust, it sounds like the wife can't.
2007-03-11 08:09:53 · answer #9 · answered by spiritwalker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doing it for the wrong reason and you know it. You have to "want" your marriage to work because of love. All the children in the world can not bring you two happiness if you do not love one another. It harms the children in the long run. Kids are not stupid, they feel and hear discord between adults. There is no harm in raising children in divided households if the parents are happy with themselves and their lives.
2007-03-11 08:20:38 · answer #10 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋