problem with co-worker, what would you do?

Question

My husband and I have been married almost 11 years, it took us 7 years to finally get our first child, and now (nearly 4 years later) I am pregnant again, we are excited to say the least!
Anyway, my coworker keeps referring to me as "knocked-up" and it offends me beyond words.
Can I file a complaint with supervisor to get her to stop, and if so - does the complaint fit into the category of 'sexual harrassment' (she is a female co-worker)

The only reason I mentioned 'sexual harrassment' is because if this were a male co-worker, making crude comments to pregnant women - it would be promptly taken care of. Why is it different for fellow female co-workers?

Answer 1

YES! Your co-worker is harassing you. Harassment or any kind is just as serious. This is harassment in the work place and it has to stop. It is your right to be pregnant and raise a family without being harasses by some ignoramus co-worker. Document each time this has occurred and make a note of the words your co-worker has used. Go to your supervisor and tell her/him you want the harassment to stop. If your supervisor doesn't take appropriate action, go to human rights if the is such an organization in your country (we have it in Canada) and it will be dealt with. However, make sure you have don't your "home work" and have everything documented. You will have a "rocky road" ahead of you but the end result will be worth it for you and others. Good Luck.

Answer 2

I don't think that it can be referred as sexual harassment, but it is harassment if it is unwarranted. I think that you should talk to the co-worker first and explain how uncomfortable it makes you. I can completely understand how annoying it can be especially if you are a married woman hearing that. Usually confronting the person will get them to stop. If you still have problems with it, then you can go to a supervisor and have them mediate the situation.

Answer 3

Yes you can file a complaint with your supervisor to get her to stop. And, yes you it could be considered sexual harassment even though she is a woman. I hope your supervisor does something about this for your sake. I work with a bunch of guys and I am the only female so I hear things sometimes that pisses me off. Good luck and I really hope you can get her to stop. People says kids can be mean, well so can adults.

Answer 4

No, that is NOT sexual harassment - the person is NOT trying to get sex from you, nor denying you job advancement because of your gender.

Your only issue is that the term offends you - ( & unfortunately for you , this is NOT on the list of prohibited language)
You can go to the supervisor but they will probably write you off as a whiner , but give you slack because of your pregnancy.
First ) Advise the co-worker you think the term is tacky and request they stop.
If it continues after that , you may ask the supervisor to speak to her , but ultimately it would come down to who is more valuable at work (as to whom they would let go) so consider how far you really want to push it.

Answer 5

Politely but FIRMLY tell her to stop, that the phrase offends you...then if she persists in using that childish terminology, then you can go to HR with a complaint...and you will be able to tell them that you have done everything in your power to get her to "knock" it off, and it's in their hands now...I wouldn't call it sexual harrassment per se, but it may fall into the category of harrassing and/or offensive speech...

Answer 6

I've always heard that sexual harassment is in the eye of the beholder. So if it feels like sexual harassment to you, then your supervisor or HR department should consider it that way.

Try mentioning it to her casually first though. She may not realize that it is offending you. A response like "Ugh, that term is so crude. I prefer____." may be all that she needs to keep her mouth shut.

Answer 7

Before you file a complaint just ask your co-worker to stop referring to you as "knocked up". She might not know that it offends you. If it continues then file.

Answer 8

First i would try to ask her to stop referring to you as that, if she continues then i would file a complaint against her i don't think it would be sexual harassment, it would probably just be filed under harassment because you had asked her to stop and she didn't good luck and i am sorry that you have to deal with such rude people

Answer 9

Have you considered:

(1) Politely asking her to stop?

(2) Loosening up a bit?

Edited to add: try asking in a 'careers' or 'etiquette' section here. It might be a little crass, but given that you're married and presumably not a teen-ager or any usual target of mockery for pregnancy, my guess is she finds it amusing, not offensive. Amusing in that you're so clearly not accidentally knocked up; you know. Anyway, really, ask elsewhere; ask the non-pregnant, and I bet you get a lot of "Huh? What is the problem here, exactly?"

From

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harassment

"Sexual harassment is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature."

It's a serious thing; don't trivialise it by calling something that rubs you the wrong way sexual harassment. Unless you view pregnancy as a highly sexualized thing, and do not welcome any comments at all on your pregnancy, no matter how they're phrased, it is NOT 'sexual harassment.'

Answer 10

Wow...I would tell her first that you and your husband are very very excited about this pregnancy and that when she refers to you as "knocked Up" It really takes the wind out if your sails and that you consider this to be a blessing and would she please not refer to you as Knocked up anymore....if she continues I would definitely tell a superior that you have no tolerance for her ignorant verbage and that you'd like to file a written complaint that should shut her up...and congradulations!