You know the old saying: there is one partner in a relationship who loves more than the other. This is a question for anyone who feels like they usually get the short end of the stick of love. You partner has many wonderful qualities, but also a few very bad qualities that threaten the relationship, and when you point out these harmful qualities and why, your partner appears apathetic. What makes you stay? Where do you get your strength from?
2007-03-11 07:56:12 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I get my strength from the love and the good qualities that he has. I stay because I know that most of the qualities are just simple petty things and there are worse things that he could be. He doesnt hit me, he doesnt use drugs, he is a good father to my kids from my previous marriage that was nothing but abuse. And I think of how I grew up, mostly without a male role model then my mom married a controlling person. And realizing that my husband now is not controlling, I mean everyone is in their own way.
2007-03-11 08:00:40 · answer #1 · answered by themom95 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The less giving partner is apathetic about the problems because the giving spouse has already shown that he/she is willing to tolerate them. If it's working for the less giving spouse, why would he/she change it?
As for why I stay... because I believe in the vows that I took. I knew who my husband was when I married him, so it's not like any of his bad qualities are a surprise. Also, his good qualities far outweigh the bad. I'm sure he's got a few complaints about me, but he doesn't focus on those issues. We focus on the good qualities, accept the bad as part of the package deal.
My strength comes from different sources. I believe in a biblical marriage, so part of my strength comes from God, and knowing that he has blessed my marriage, and wants me to do my best to make it last. My strength comes from knowing that I'm providing a stable, loving home for my 2 boys. From knowing that part of my strength is that I'm half of a whole. My life is chaotic - lots of stress, and people often comment that they don't know how I handle it all, I am so strong. What they fail to realize is that I'm only strong because I have my husband behind me, holding me up. We draw strength from each other... neither of us could handle the stress of our lives without the other. When the $hit hits the fan, I know he'll be there.
2007-03-11 08:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by ~StepfordWife~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My strength is in the love that I have for him. I love him dearly I think that I am the one that loves more. What makes me stay as well is the good qualities and noticing that I don't want to live without him. I think its the way that we click and the way that we reason and talk. We work out things before it really escalate itself. You don't wait till things get worse you point it out from the early stages so no one could say but you haven't said.
2007-03-11 08:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The apathetic part doesn't really apply to me, but the bad qualities are there. Basically, the kids, that's what makes me stay. The children, I don't want them to be without a Dad.
2007-03-11 08:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got my strength from an old friend that made me realize what I had was great. We all have bad qualities about us and our partners over look them too. Good luck and I hope it works out for you.
2007-03-11 09:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by CJ5fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't you have to be willing to make them see what your seeing in them.
My wife had an affair when we first got married, I found out and she was out.
I started to date many,many women and sleeping around not proud of myself but there it was we almost get a divorce!
After almost 8 months total we got back together after we set a code of ethics in our marriage.
Both work the codes and know that if there violated either one of us could be out.
Simple as that.
2007-03-11 08:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by Free-Lance 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When this was the case between me and my hubby i got my strength from my love. my love for both him and my children. when he finaly reached the point where he could see the damage he caused to his family he worked like a dog to make all rights wrong. now the love between us is equal. and i feel like i recieve as much love as i give.
2007-03-11 08:03:55 · answer #7 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its not strength that makes you stay, it is weakness and cowardise, nothing more, strength makes you realize that it is not worth compromising and settling for less than what you deserve and want, strength is what allows you to walk away
2007-03-11 09:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE. When you're in love thats where you get it from. And you get that strenght to that person you love as well.
2007-03-11 08:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by honeyy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋