I am devastated?

Question

My ex had the snip. She had 3 kids already and i brought them up as my own (they were babies). We have split now 3 years ago - (i know i should be over it). But The kids dont contact me anymore and now i find that she has met someone else and had the snip reversed and is now pregnant. I always wanted little ones and she knew that - I feel empty and numb!

Answer 1

three years, you should be over it and i suspect you were until you heard this latest bit of news.
i think that seeing as how you two are no longer together it was wise not to have children with her.
you don't get to see the three that you played daddy to, how on earth would you feel if you had a child with her and lost contact with that child as well?
its time to let it all go and i know thats easier said than done, but you have got to move on and make a nice life for yourself. besides as long as you are wasting time dreaming about the past and what could have been you are very likely missing great things that are right in front of you! so come on!
get up and away from the computer and get out and get some fresh air. you never know who is around the next corner.

Answer 2

i am so sorry about what happenend and it must be hard to have once had the responsibility of children and had that taken away from you. I wonder if she stopped the children contacting you due to having a new partner if this is the case children are like elephants they never forget and may be one day they will want to contact you.
You are also hurt about the fact she did not have a reversal for you and did with somone else that must really hurt. Why she has done it I dont know perhaps he gave her a lot of pressure to do it.
Please you are a wonderful man to take on someone elses children as your own and still care is truly amazing in this day and age.
you need to look at this not in a negative way but a possitive way you did a good job with the time you had with this family and you should hold your head up high.
Any woman will be very lucky to have you and out there is just that women never give up, always remember the good and try and move on to pastures new.

Answer 3

Hi! I'm sorry to hear what has happened. And the fact that you may have already gone through the process of getting over the situation, you've ended up hearing more bad news. Unfortunately these things happen. Nevertheless, you have proved to yourself that you can raise children and be a father to them. So dont have any regrets about that. No one knows what the future holds, you could have children with this woman and it may or may not have worked out. But what you need to know now is that you have learnt a little more about yourself from this experience and move on to the next phase of your life. You want a relationship where you have honesty and the opportunity to have a family. And thats what you need to work towards now. You cant change the past but you can do something about your future. And dont worry about her children, kids have a funny way of never forgetting who was good to them and they will find you one day. So go on now and live your life. Wishing you the best!!

Answer 4

Unfortunately you have several issues going on here.The first thing that you need to work on is getting over your ex and putting her in your past obviously she has moved on.You will not beable to move on and start a new relationship until you have completely put to rest your old one.Three years is a long time for you to still be greiving over your realtionship infact it is actually very unhealthy for you.It is unfortunate that she hurt you the way that she did but you need to let it go.It is great that you took on her children and treated them as your own and you did not mention what ages they were when you split up but as they get older they may one day contact you and if they don't then it was just not meant to be.If you want children of your own then that is a great goal for you to work for and in order to do that you must put your past to rest and get out there and start meeting other women and living again.If in three years you have not been able to conqour it on your own then now is the time for you to seek counseling to better yourself and there is nothing wrong with needing a little help.Only you can change the way that you feel and if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself and you do nothing to move ahead then you have nobody to blame but yourself.I am sure you would be a wonderful husband & father so get out there and make it happen..Good luck to you and Best Wishes.

Answer 5

The kids are probably feeling wounded over the split, been there myself, they don't understand why adults break up. Maybe you should contact them and let them know that you there for them when they need you. Of course teenagers are awkward with parents but they're great when they get past the hormonal imbalance stage at about 20 they start to seek your counsel again. Don't fester about the past as some one who could offer you fruit and love you want could be waiting and you could be holding things up, so be good to yourself and stop worrying what your ex is doing. Your special, so remember that.

Answer 6

Assuming you havent had the snip find a girl who wants a family with you and start your life afresh. As the kids get older they will remember you as the only dad they knew and might want to contact you again someday.

Answer 7

That is an unusually sad story, especially after you gave up so many years to children who will maybe never appreciate what you did. But do you know who does appreciate you? Turn to God and you will unlock the answers to happiness, true happiness.

Answer 8

Find your own happiness dude and tell her to walk!
You did a good thing for those kids , and if anything should be proud of yourself for man uping and raising another man children. If they don't want to speak to you then let them be on there way too.
Good luck.

Answer 9

don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself...i'm sure there's alot of beautiful women whos willing to carry your seed.

Answer 10

Time to move on honey she is not worth it!