if he loved us he wouldnt be wanting time alone without us. . so what do you tell your kids when they are at the door all night waiting for daddy to come home?
2007-03-11 07:30:53 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he isn't home, doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love his children. But even if he doesn't, I don't know that it would be my place to tell my children that. He is after all their father. Children are usually pretty easy to distract. I would get them involved with something else to take their mind off of it.
2007-03-11 07:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by Rabbit 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you could do such a thing in the right way. You just be as good as a parent as YOU can be and they'll figure out the rest. Keep them busy let that not be their main preocupation or worry, have friends over, parties, plan events, etc. You may want to have a talk to them about it that dad is just busy (or about whatever reason he's not there) and HE DOES LOVE you so don't even think he doesn't. But after the talk do other things. Don't ever bad mouth the not so good parent or spouse. Believe kids/children know who's there and who's not and who's lacking or not caring their part. They'll have love for both but trust and count on one more.
2007-03-11 07:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't tell them anything....you will eventually turn them against you.....trust me they will figure it out all on there own. If your husband wants time alone, then give it to him......if he is staying out all hours of the night, as well as all night, then it is time to tell him to leave. You guys are a family and your husband should act like it. Sure once and a while, with the guys is OK, but not all night.....I think something else is going on....in which you may just want to investigate b4 Kicking him out....If there is another woman involved, it is better for you in the end as far as reason for divorce, plus if this has been an on going relationship, and if you state allows it.....You could also sue her for alienation of affection, as well as possibly getting spousal support, and of course child support.
I wish you the best of luck......but just let the kids figure it all out on there own, when they ask, say I don't know, and I wished I did. If they ask you if you would ever do it to them....say no, and that you love them way too much. But never try to turn them against a parent.....they will resent you.
2007-03-11 07:41:12 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell young children that they are not loved. They may be too young to comprehend the situation. Their father is being irresponsible. If the situation is creating tension in your home that it is affecting your children's emotional well being, tell dad he's gotta go.
He's grown up and can take care of himself. The children need protection for their development. If you have any questions about how to handle adult topics with children, look online for some resources and definitely talk to a professional for advice.
Either way, make sure that you monitor your own reactions in the presence of your children. Don't let them overhear you angry with him or complaining about him to someone else. They pick up on that stuff and although they may be too young to understand, they will remember and put 2 and 2 together.
Do what you have to do to protect your children physically and emotionally, even if that means that Dad is out of the house.
It's a painful scenario, I know, but your babies come first.
Good luck.
2007-03-11 07:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not tell your children that their dad does not love them. For one thing, I am sure that he does love them and another thing is they will grow up and resent you for telling them that. Try talking to their dad about your kid's feelings and if that does not work, you need to have a talk with your kids. Tell them that their dad loves them very much, but he is just really busy. Everyone needs some time alone.
2007-03-11 07:42:00 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie K 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT TELL YOUR KIDS THAT HE DOESN'T LOVE THEM. It may be true, but you will be causing some severe damage to your children if they feel that their own father does not love them. They don't need to be told about family problems. Protect them from that. They are kids. They need to enjoy life with or without their father. It would be very good for your kids to hear you say good things about their dad even if he is not that good of a dad. If you know for sure that their father does not love them, those kids need to be removed far away from him and placed with someone who does love them. Can you imagine the face on your kids if you could succeed in convincing them that their father does not love them?
2007-03-11 07:41:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom use to tell me and my brother that my Dad wasnt coming and that she diddnt know why. But she never made a big fuss, she would let us cry a little bit but then she would say things like come on lets go to the park, or come hang out with me.
It was bad for a while we were always crying for him, but my Mom was always right there standing beside letting us know how much she loved us.
i dont think you should ever tell your kids that thier father doesnt love them, you have to make sure you comfort them, and let them know that even if daddy never shows up that mommy will always be there.
My mom use to get us ice cream, or get us to come watch a movie with her when my Dad never showed up, after a while we just kind of forgot about him never showing up, we never forgot about him, we just had more fun with our mom.
2007-03-11 07:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by rissie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you don't. it's not your place to tell them that their father doesn't love them, because he does. No matter what, he does. He may just be stressed at work, and everyone needs some time alone. What you need to do is talk to the father about this, about coming home earlier so he can see his kids. that's the first step. don't tell the kids that their father doesn't love them, that accomplishes nothing.
2007-03-11 07:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You tell them that daddy is running late or daddy went away for a while or whatever possible excuse you can come up with to cover for him but you never tell a child that daddy does not love them. There are severe psychological effects to saying something like that to a child and it can emotionally and mentally scar them for life. Your job is to provide enough love and care to cover for daddy, and keep your opinions to yourself at least until they are old enough to understand. As for daddy if he does not care it is his lost, and it is someting that will eventually eat him alive.
2007-03-11 07:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Missnoitall 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it is responsible of you to tell your kids anything like that. I do think that it is your responsibility to speak with your husband about it and if you can't work it out then you have some other tough decisions to make. The important thing though is not to scar your children with something like that. Maybe not what you wanted to hear but you did ask the question. Good luck with it. I hope that the two of you can work all of this out.
2007-03-11 07:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Stephen B 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋