I moved to a new place last month, with my boyfriend for work reasons and i didn't know anyone whan i came. I made some nice friends at work but no-one i feel close to as i did my old mates in my hometown. Recently ive been thinking about my relationship with my boyfriend (of 2yrs), and i do think i love him but maybe more as a best mate, plus i have suspicions he's cheating (bt thats a whole other issue). My dilema is i don't know what to do, do i end it with him and move to my home town and loose my good job (that im really happy in), do i end it with him and stay here on my own, where i hardly know anyone, or do i stay with him in the hope that things improve? help!!
2007-03-11 06:45:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi, you have only been in your new job in the new place a month which is not really long enough to make life changing decisions. You say you love the job, but that you are not close to anyone as you were with your old mates. This, again, takes time, and you may find you will become closer to them as time goes on. I think you have to treat the job/friends and the boyfriend problem as two separate issues. Give the job/friends issue more time and see what happens. As to the boyfriend you say you 'think' you love him. Believe me, if you really loved him you would know. If you suspect him of cheating then I think you have to find out whether he is or not and then make a decision as to whether you want to stay with him. You CAN go it alone in the new town as you have friends at work and you can join evening classes etc etc. where you will meet others. Nobody can make decisions for you, but the best of luck whatever you decide. x
2007-03-11 07:18:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hunny you've only been there a month and it will take longer than that to form some close friendships. I moved from London to Brighton with my man when I was 7 months pregnant and knew no-one. I was very sad for a while but I did make new friends and spent 5 very happy years there. If you feel your bf may be cheating then try and make friends that are seperate to his just incase you both split up. Invite some of your work mates round for an evening or suggest you all go for a drink or meal after work one night. Don't give up yet, I have a feeling that it will all work out well for you. Good luck x x x
2007-03-12 10:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by picklexxx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with the job, as it's the one happy place in your life at the moment; don't live with someone just because it's comfort zone. You will get to know more people the longer you work there; what about letting your workmates know that you are thinking about living alone for a while; networking cna throw up some great information, and you may find help to do that in the most unlikely places.
You seem to have number of issues here; it sounds like you are not too bothered if the boyfriend is cheating, and not too bothered about finishing it with him, so I think this relationship may not be the right thing for you at all.
You gain strength by striking out on your own; trust me, you will not regret that. Yes, it may be lonely and a bit more expensive, but there are worse things than being lonely- and putting up with a lukewarm relationship is not doing yourself any favours.
2007-03-11 14:27:30 · answer #3 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to try and make friends where you are now and you will be alot happier. Youve moved to a new place for work and you should give it more time, at least six months. Once youve met new friends you will find that your relationship is better because you wont be spending too much time with your boyfriend. If hes going out without you now and again, maybe hes knows that its not good to spend too much time together, so dont think the worst.
My point is that you havent given it enough time. I gave myself a year to see if I liked it in a new place and I did. Im glad I stayed.
See how things go for a while longer.
Good luck.
2007-03-11 14:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by missBambi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you Think you love this guy, you probably don't. Make sure your suspicions are confirmed before confronting him. If you did go home and your old mates had new friends how would you feel? The question is not can you live with this guy, it is can you live without this guy? You must make the improvements yourself. Don't wait and hope things get better. Make a concious effort to get closer to people and your fella, if you're determined to stay put. Hope this helps
2007-03-12 02:42:20 · answer #5 · answered by liza_jane_46 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you've only been there a month. I'd break up with him. if the job is that good - get your own place (maybe just rent for a period) and see how it goes on the friends front. If your really missing your old home/pals and could get a good job back there then go back home!
2007-03-11 14:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by keeley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time to throw away, you have only been in the new place a month Id give it time cos your still adjusting to all new surroundings... He must really love you if he came with you in the first place!
2007-03-11 13:55:44 · answer #7 · answered by debpcox 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking, and feel. Us girls spend too long thinking about what he meant and what he did and this that and whatever. If he is like your best friend then you sound like you have a great relationship, as long as you still want to have sex with him? It just sounds like amybe the romance has gone a little, but that can be recaptured, it just takes work.
2007-03-11 13:51:17 · answer #8 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to lose a job that you like? break up with the guy and continue with your job, you can live on your own.
2007-03-11 13:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by peedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how unhappy you really are there. if he is in fact cheating the loose him yes. make sure you find out for sure, as for the good job. well it depends. is the job pay well enough to jepardise your happiness?
2007-03-11 13:53:01 · answer #10 · answered by eightieschick70 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋