Will my husband fall back in love with me?

Question

My husband had an affair with someone at the office. He has fallen out of love with me. I know the affair is over, but will he fall back in-love with me after this? He sees her everyday, and I know he has feelings for her

Answer 1

Does your husband WANT to continue the marriage? Has he expressed reasons for "falling out of love"? Are you seeing a marriage counselor?

I think if your husband is hung up on a woman from work and he really wants to make the marriage work - he needs to find another job. That would be an initial show of support for your marriage.

It is possible that you can get past this and be stronger then ever, but the odds are stacked against you. Your husband broke the vows of your marriage and not only will you have to learn to trust him- he will have to EARN your trust as well.

Answer 2

Will he feel for you as he did once? Doubtful.

Betrayal is the deal-buster in marriage, not only for your feelings toward him, but for him toward you as well. If marriage and/or committed relationships are respect, admiration passion and trust, the trust you had for him is in the toilet, he has shared passion with someone else, and the respect and admiration is about there as well, even if you will not admit it. An affair is a significant blow to a relationship, and tho often the betrayer doesn't leave for that other person, that other person is the bridge out of the marriage, or at least to further affairs. Any marriage counselor worth anything will tell you it is more than 2 years, even in counseling, and even if both wish to save the marriage, before it is indeed again balanced, and that, hon, is no guarantee.

If you already know he has feelings for her, even if the affair is over, then hon, you are not number one, and every spouse should be number one. The question anyone would ask you is "Why are you still there?" and if you are choosing to stay, "Why are you not in counseling?"

Your self-esteem must be quite low.... most others would simply bail. Life is too short to put up with a betrayer.

Answer 3

He may have fallen out of love with you but having an affair instead of asking for a divorce shows not only a lack of love but a lack of respect. Someone who treats you that way doesn't deserve your love.
However if you do still want him, show him with little things. Do the things that you did when you first started dating and he fell in love with you. Also stand up for yourself and show him that you deserve more respect than he has shown you. Self confidence goes a long way into changing how others see you so it would be a good thing to try and change how you feel about yourself, if nothing else it will help you move on if things don't work out as you hope.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

It's quite possible he is scared of what may happen on his second tour, and undoubtedly, there are some things that still haunt him from last time. Has he talked to anyone about it? It's really something to sit down with him about, and the fact that he refuses says something. Is he depressed? Maybe you should tell him you will back off (and do) and let him come to you when he's ready. Tell him you're afraid your marraige is falling apart and don't want to lose him by pushing too hard. Don't stop being affectionate, just stop pushing him to talk about it. He'll come around if he still wants in it. But considering where he's been for part of your marraige, I'd say it is more trauma than lack of love. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

I am sure he is dealing with alot of mixed emotions right now. The reason affairs are so hard is because you can't just begin and end them...former lovers stay in your thoughts and burn there and make it very hard to focus 100% on the person you are supposed to love and be faithful to. He will probably need to find a new job, because so long as she is around, temptation will be there and he won't be able to move on. In fact, you should insist on that...that he switch jobs. Good luck!

Answer 6

You got to give both time an patients to the situation.
Also start some romance in marriage!
If you want to stay in marriage then you both need to committee to it not just you!

Affairs dod nothing but destroy and leave messes that have unknown problem down the end.

I suggest you got to a marriage counselor and work on marriage with that 3rd. party.

Answer 7

I'm not sure how people fall out of love .I have 2 exes and still love the 2 of them . I think what he did is fall out of lust for you . Try being a little more sleazier show that cleavage off more around town people are funny they all wont what every one is looking at turns them on for some reason.

Best of luck to you hope everything worksout for you

Answer 8

Aww...That sucks!! Why stick around to let him run around on you....I would think that you should stand up for yourself and move on. No one deserves to be cheated on. Have you put your foot down about this? Does he know that you know about the woman at the office? I hate to see people stick around for this but things will never change....He will go back to you when he can't find anyone else to tango with. (So to Speak)...Move on...You don't need him as your husband. Good Luck and Best Wishes

Answer 9

I think your the one he had an affair with.Same screen name.Chances are he may still love her, or she may hold financnes over his head.Either way if you ARE the wife.Tell him to get rid of the girl ,find another job or file for divorce.

Answer 10

let him see a different u, get a new hairdo, loose some weight, color your hair, show self worth, change u. go to the gym, don't be the victim, be the self confident one, the one who accepts herself unconditionally. he could very well fall back in love, redefine yourself, let him see u differently.