Me and my husband are in our early 30s, decent looking people. I just don't have any desire to for sex whats so ever. We have lots of time to do it. We have no kids either. I feel really bad. This has been going on for over a year. He is a good looking guy. We used to have alot of fun with sex. Now it feels like chore. I know that the sexual flame fades out over time, but this is rediculous. Sex is like a chore, all I want is to be a sexual female again. He tries hard, and is a very considrate lover, but no matter what he does I can't get turned on!!
2007-03-11 06:22:10 · 16 answers · asked by desi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should go see your doctor, it could be a physical thing or a chemical or hormonal imbalance......
good luck!......
2007-03-11 06:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you still love your husband very much, and it's normal to have less frequent sex as time goes on. Responsibilities and age both can really squash someone's sex drive. Illness or depression often cause problems. Thyroid problems, for example, which are very common in women in their 30s can cause low sex drive. If you're using birth control pills for contraception, they can sometimes impact sex drive. If you're coping with stress or depression, that too can negatively affect your sex drive.
Take time to be intimate with your spouse, cuddle, take a shower together, whatever works for you. And talk to your doctor. There may be other things going on that can lower your sex drive, that can be quite easily treated.
Feel better soon.
2007-03-11 08:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by Erika G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, that's no longer you. All marraiges come to a 'platoue' so that they say. in case you and your husband are not permit's say '30-something' anymore, than you just about might desire to assume something like this to take place. you will possibly be able to desire to realize that your husband is probable dealing with something with himself (i.e.- understanding of his age, artwork issues, even E.D.
2016-10-18 02:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created; that being said, you both need to start seeking out new understandings about sexuality and iy starts with your individual sexual persona. Many time sex becomes dull because a partner is scared to share what they really want. This is why couple much have open and honest exchanges.
If you want a long term solution start taking stock in your own sexual perception and learn how to step out of your usual box. Take a close look at your beliefs especially where it concerns your religion, culture, and family even friendships. It should be only two people in the bedroom you and your husband. Your only goal should be how to please each other but you have to find out what that is first. Start taking to each other openly and honestly. Through trust and honesty with full disclosure is the path to deep intimacy and sexual passion.
Leave behind the ghost and skeleton of limiting past beliefs learned from anywhere else throughout your life. Marriage is an adventure that can lead to the most satisfying relationship of your life. You both have to become courageously real with each other to unleash the sexy beast hidden deep within you. This require you being real with yourself and sharing it with your mate. As you begin to open up with each other your real adventuresome selves will come alive. As you discover your wild side sex will be made fun no matter where you are.
What most people don't understand couples make love to each other in every thing they do in life. Sensuality and sexuality is slowly diminished through other issues in the union and this happens under our radar in most cases. If your relationship is stagnant start looking for the hidden secrets your mate might be hiding or be willing to share yours if you are the culprit. Hidden secrets will kill romance and intimacy in the union in the long run. Start the journey of understanding all areas of your life. Talking and arguing can be a very healthy aphrodisiac when couples are really listening to each other and willing to take real steps to solve issues. None action will equal the loss of intimacy and eventually the union.
I will say this, women must feel and men respond to images when it come to sexuality. Ask your hubby what kind of sexy things he would like to see you wear daily around the house. Go out, get them, and wear them whenever you can!!! As a woman this will also make you feel sexier. Get rid of all underwear when you enter your intimate space / home. There is nothing sexier than catching glimpse of your partner’s privates that are given just to you…playfulness if very important to the sensuality of the union. I spontaneously smack my girls but to send the message she is still sexy to me. I just love it when she is in her cute housedress without underwear and flips me a shot of her sexy butt. Use pet names with each other that are only shared intimately together. Take the time, without distraction, sit in a room your feel most sensual and light some candles and just be with each other. You can also use this time to read material on new positions, pleasure techniques, or just play like to little kids. Satisfying sex takes skill so do not expect fireworks right away. Have fun looking silly in front of each other. This will also improve how you get along in other areas of your relationship. Remember your home is your union's intimate space so together create it in to something wonderful that represents the love and appreciation you share for each other. Positive memories are the biggest turn on in the long run.
You have to do what works for you and your precious hubby. So start communicating and discovering and practicing. Become experts on the subject of each other.
2007-03-11 06:43:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might try seeing your doctor. Women's hormones fluctuate over time and not just at puberty and menopause. It might be a simple matter of a slight imbalance or a symptom of something more serious. I hope everything works out for you ok.
Good Luck.
2007-03-11 06:35:43 · answer #5 · answered by C T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ah ha!
You are going to think I am crazy, but go to GNC, buy him if they have it in stock, or order these two products.
vyotech is the company. the two products are HD-17, and Viraloid. Don't read the bottles, just do it. Give him 2 purple ones, and one red/white pill a aday and wait 2 weeks - your little love problems will be over!
I GAURANTEE IT! HE WILL BE A MACHINE.
my point is your mind is a very weird thing, i bet when you start seeing how confident and sexy he is that you will want him. when you see other women checking him out, you will want him, it's weird. humans are weirdos period, ive figured that out over the years. believe me, it works.
2007-03-11 06:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to get out of the rut your in try something with him that you thought you would never ever do.go away for a weekend,get into a hot tub,just do something different at least once a month,you will find a difference,be very positive,most of all just don't think it DO IT.good luck if you no what i need
2007-03-11 06:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by johny1punch 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
do you feel the same way about your husband. I mean are you drooling over some one else. You should talk to your doc.
you may be experiencing something hormonal.
are you under more stress this will affect your intimacy. is he being romantic.
2007-03-11 06:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It could be a lot of things. I find that for women (my friends, myself) sex has a lot to do with emotions. Could you be depressed? How do you feel about your own body? How do you feel about your relationship? Is there some area of your life that needs attention?
2007-03-11 06:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by leelee53 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
your best bet would be counseling.. maybe self help books.. i know for me at times i feel the same way.. it sucks.. i love my wife so much but i just dont wanna do it.. its so weird cause before we got married i wanted to do it every second of ever day.. Don't look to other people for help ( except a councilor).. especially on the internet.. guys on here love to try and " get with a married woman.. to make her feel desireable again".. you should talk to him about it . and thats it..
2007-03-11 06:31:51 · answer #10 · answered by TheNOTORIOUSBerikBassline 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Because ,you don't want to. You need to feel it in your heart. you need to remember, how much it meant to you. If you had children, it would of helped take some of the boredom out of you life. You have missed out on a lot, by not having any. And now you life feels meaningless. because you have no reason to have a meaning. Life is what you make of it. You chose not to have children, so you have no one to turn to, sort of speak. You feel you have no purpose, because, you gave it no purpose. Maybe you felt not having children would be fun. But now you feel maybe you got left out on life. You could of had grandchildren by now, they would of made your life worth living. You could of watched your children grow, and gave you life meaning. You missed out on enjoying life with your children. and so it became useless to you. because now you have no one to enjoy your later years with. When you husband passes on, who will you share your grief with? Will you turn cold and be lonely, because, you won't have anyone to fulfill the emptiness, when it comes. Some people, may think its ok not to have children, but when you get up in the years, who will look after you, when you need it?
2007-03-11 06:38:24 · answer #11 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋